Volume Ii Part 9 (1/2)
The same partial fate which attended the young Eustace under his father's roof, extended itself to his life at school. In the rather inferior establishment to which he, and his younger brother were sent--one very unworthy and inefficient to develope the genius and talent, inherent in the boy--qualities which nevertheless struggled forth, spite of all disadvantages, into life and power, too little appreciated by others--there the favour of the sycophant master, was lavished exclusively on the rich father's favourite, to the apparent detriment and depreciation of the other. The high and generous spirit of the boy, was reported as ill-disposed and unruly, and treated accordingly with severity, or more properly speaking, tyranny and injustice.
A crus.h.i.+ng or hardening effect upon the mind and character, must have inevitably been the result of such a process, had it not been for the superior nature of the being upon whom it worked; to say nothing of that counter charm which ever lay upon his heart, a talisman against the power of every evil influence--his mother's love. But there was one effect produced by the state of things we have endeavoured to show forth, which could not be averted. We mean the seed of future misery, thereby sown between the youthful brothers.
In early childhood there had subsisted between them an affection almost bordering upon enthusiasm, remarkable in children of their age; in the younger how soon, like every other good and truthful inclination of his heart and character, contracted and undermined by the still more pernicious influence to which by his different circ.u.mstances he was exposed. It might have been supposed that were the invidious feelings of envy, or jealousy, to be engendered in either mind by the system of partiality to which they were subjected in such a lamentable degree, it would have been in that of the least favoured; but jealousy belonged not to the n.o.ble nature of Eustace.
Sad surprise--indignant risings in his breast against the injustice of his father's conduct, were the consequence, but no invidious feeling against the rival object himself. That one indeed, he would ever have loved and cherished, borne with and forgiven, as in those young days, whilst any evidence of brotherly feeling was given in exchange. But no--it was the favoured one, as we often see to be the case--the rich and favoured one, who began to envy his poorer brother, even the scanty portion which fell to his share.
And of what was there in those early days that Eugene could envy Eustace?
What but that boon, which though influenced outwardly to despise--his inherent taste for the good and beautiful, caused him secretly to covet, above every other gift--the fervent love which he saw bestowed by his despised, but angelic mother, on the child, whose affection drew it so freely forth--love how ready to be poured as largely on his own head, but for the barrier of slight, coldness, and constraint she saw so soon interposed between herself and that else equally beloved child.
Oh! the pain, to mark the glances of that dark, clear eye grow cold and dim, when turned upon her--the once open brow
”Cloud with mistrust, and the unfettered lip Curled with the iciness of constant scorn.”
But all this belongs more properly to a later, and, alas! darker period of the lives of those it is our task to trace, and to which we must hasten forward; that period, in which boyhood merges into manhood, and the seed sown for good or ill springs forth, and bears--some thirty, some sixty, and some an hundred-fold.
CHAPTER XII.
Have I not had to wrestle with my lot?
Have I not suffered things to be forgiven?
Have I not had my brain sear'd, my heart riven?
BYRON.
It was Mr. Trevor's good pleasure to bestow the church living in his gift upon his second son. On the same principle, we suppose--as it was the fas.h.i.+on, at that period--more we trust than in the present time--for the least promising and least talented of a family to be devoted to the sacred service of the church--did the father, we conclude, in the present instance select for this purpose the son least esteemed and honoured in his eyes, without any regard to the inclinations of his own heart, or his fitness for that vocation.
Eustace Trevor was sent to College, on as small an allowance as could in decency be accorded, and commanded there to prepare himself for Holy Orders.
How can we describe the trials, the struggles, the discouragements which beset the path of one who, under more propitious circ.u.mstances, might have pa.s.sed on to such high and distinguished grades of honour and distinction?
His n.o.ble character and conspicuous talents, drew down upon him the love, admiration, and honour of those around him; yet to some degree the galling hand which had laid heavy on his boyhood oppressed his powers even then.
Great and good as was the young man's nature,
”Temptation hath a music for all ears, And mad ambition triumpheth to all, And the ungovernable thought within Will be in every bosom eloquent.”
The very superiority of Eustace Trevor's nature, his high, and serious estimate of the holy nature of the profession which had been forced upon him, soon caused the youth to recoil with conscientious horror from embracing it upon such terms. He laid his scruples before his father, who with contemptuous indignation told him he might then starve, or beg, for by no other means should he obtain from him a farthing of subsistence--and his mother, whilst she sympathized in his feelings on the subject, still encouraged and besought him to make himself worthy of the sacred vocation, and bring down those high thoughts and aspirations which rendered it incompatible with his desires.
This was the substance of her mild, soft pleadings in the anxious cause:
”My son, oh leave the world alone!
Safe on the steps of Jesus' throne Be tranquil and be blest.”
Encouraged by this strong persuasion, Eustace Trevor promised for her dear sake to do all in his power to satisfy her solicitude, and reconcile his own conscience on the point.