Part 21 (1/2)
”Oh, yeah, sure!” the other voice finally called back. ”The surfboard! Got it right here. Roger's surfboard!”
Two men in baggy swimsuits ran through the crowd, carrying something that was long, flat, and red. Neither one of them looked like they saw much of the sun, either.
The fellow in front was compactly built and moved with quick, nervous energy; the fellow behind him, who was bald and a bit on the flabby side, had to struggle to keep up.
”Here it is, Doctor Dread!” the compact fellow announced as they approached. ”The dev-I mean, the surfboard!”
”Doctor Dread?” Roger repeated with a frown. There was something about that name, something that didn't belong on a world of sand and surf.
”Don't listen to those guys,” the snakeskinned surfer replied with a nervous smile.
”You can call me Dreaddy.”
”Dreaddy,” Roger repeated with a smile. Yes, that name sounded much better.
”And these are my friends,” Dreaddy went on, ”the Prof and Mengy. They're the guys who”-he hesitated for some reason-”worked on your board.”
”Mengy?” the flabby fellow complained.
”Ixnay!” Dreaddy said out of the corner of his mouth. ”Ou'reyay an urfersay!”
”Oh, yeah!” The flabby fellow laughed and waved halfheartedly. ”Mengy!”
”Roger?” a lyrically feminine voice whispered in his ear. ”Could I talk with you?”
”Okay, babe,” Roger said as he turned to the young woman.”I don't have much time.
I've got a wave to catch.''
She smiled at him as he turned-the kind of smile that would melt the heart of even the most hardened surfer. Her spangled evening dress sparkled in the midday sun.
Didn't he know this girl from somewhere? A name floated past the sound of waves and the memory of surf guitar-Delores. That was it. Roger was glad to see her again.
Even though she wasn't wearing a bikini, Delores wouldn't look out of place anywhere.
”I understand,” she rea.s.sured him. She pushed her long blond hair out of her eyes, hair that shone in the wind and sun. ”But I must talk to you.”
”But, girly!'' Dreaddy insisted.”Roger's got to get ready for his surfing challenge!”
”Yeah, Roger,” Mengy added. ”You haven't even taken a look at your new board.”
”Yes,” the Prof continued as he and Mengy lifted the surfboard between them. ”We've added some very interesting modifications.”
They had, too. It was the strangest board Roger had ever seen, especially with the red tubes along the side, and the lump of plastic over the rear fin.
”Hey, babe!” another voice interrupted. ”Why'd you split the scene?”
”Oh, no,” Delores whispered. In a much louder voice, she shouted at the newcomer: ”Would you kindly get out of my life?”
”Oho!” the tall, tanned, and slightly awkward newcomer replied. ”Spirited-that's the way Fast Felix likes 'em!””Roger,” Delores continued, ”could we go somewhere else to talk?”
”Well, gee, babe, if I didn't have this surfing duel-”
”But that's right, Roger-Dodger!” Dreaddy insisted. ”You do have this surfing duel, and this special board, which you'd better try out right now!”
”Hey, cutie!” Fast Felix interrupted. ”Who is this new guy? How can you turn your back on the greatest lover on the beach?”
”Who's the greatest lover on the beach?” another woman's voice loudly demanded.
”Outta my way!”
Surfers screamed and scattered as another newcomer trod heavily through the sand.
The oily smile fell from Felix's face as he turned to look at the woman, who now stood all alone.
”My name is Bertha,” she growled gutturally, ”and if I want you, you're mine.”
Felix started to shake. He opened his mouth, but no sound issued forth. Roger had to admit that Bertha cut an imposing figure. Maybe it was that six feet six inches of height. Maybe it was the pink bikini on that thick, muscle-laden body. It made her look as s.e.xy as a Sherman tank. Perhaps, Roger considered, pink was not her color.
”Who's that?” Roger asked.
”Oh,” Dreaddy said lightly, ”just another one of my beach buddies.” He cleared his throat delicately. ”Bertha, dearest? Perhaps now is not the best time-”
She shook her head and pointed at Felix. ”So you're the best lover? Prove it!”
”Prove it?” Utter fear allowed Felix to find his voice again. ”Oh, wow. Well, you know-I talk a lot. Maybe I'm not the best-”
”No one backs down from Big Bertha!” she announced as she grabbed Felix with both of her ham-sized hands and lifted him from his feet. ”Let's see what you're made of.”
He squirmed, but only for an instant. There was a loud crunch, like the smas.h.i.+ng of cartilage and bone. Fast Felix went limp.
”Typical shoddy merchandise.” Beach Bunny Bertha tossed the remains over her shoulder.
”Anybody else?” she asked.
All the other surfers started walking casually toward some other beach.
”But about this surfboard,” Dreaddy continued as if nothing had happened.”It's really customized!” Mengy joined in as he pointed to the flame decals.
”It was providentially coincidental,” the Prof explained, ”that we could get parts from this old car and rocket s.h.i.+p that were sitting around on the beach.”
”Yeah!” Mengy agreed. ”It's amazing what you can scavenge from a rocket s.h.i.+p.”
”But, Roger-” Delores began.
”Hey, you've got to get going!” Brian exclaimed.
”Yeah!” Frankie added. ”The Cowabunga-munga waits for no man!”
”So take the board,” Dreaddy insisted.