Part 12 (1/2)
”Then we should deal with them and get on with it!” the newest villain snapped. ”All this sitting around and talking is uneconomical!”
”Hmmm,” the silver-suited Menge considered. ”I like your style. Very no-nonsense.””Villainy on a budget,” the newcomer agreed.
”Very well!” Menge the Merciless called to all those around him. ”Minions of evil!
Let's do something a little special, and kill all these worthless do-gooders”-his preg- nant pause was worthy of Doctor Dread-”in unison.”
”Aren't you forgetting something?” a high-pitched voice called from behind the trees.
”Who's that?” Menge demanded.
”Dr. Dread?” Bertha asked hopefully.
But the high-pitched rabbit voice hadn't finished its speech.
”n.o.body kills anybody,” it continued, ”-in Bunny-land!”
That's when Delores saw them-five-hundred tiny, furry, points; some gray, some black, some white. They rose slowly from the gra.s.s all around the heroes and villains, to reveal a thousand pink ears, a thousand rabbit eyes, then five hundred rapidly- twitching pink noses.
”What's going on here?” Menge demanded.
”I think-” Bertha replied haltingly, ”that we're surrounded-by bunnies!”
”Bunnies?” Menge laughed. ”I thought it was something serious!”
”Bunnies are never serious!” Bigears shouted from the back of the pack. ”Show 'em, fellas!”
Five hundred pairs of paws lifted five hundred cream pies into view.
”Uh-oh,” Big Bertha remarked.
The ground beneath the meadow shook as a very, very large rabbit burst from the trees.
”Bouncer to da rescue!” the very, very large bunny announced. He was carrying something that looked like a very large carrot, except that the vegetable's orange skin shone like polished metal. He stuck the carrot, pointy end first, into Menge the Merciless' ray gun.
”A carrot?” Menge asked.
BOOM! went the carrot, creating a neat little explosion in the archfiend's immediate vicinity. When the smoke cleared, Menge's face and upper body were covered with vast quant.i.ties of very dark ash.
He squeezed the trigger of his ray gun. The gun disintegrated.
Five hundred bunnies giggled together.”Uh-oh,” Menge replied.
”Let Zabana see,” the jungle prince mused, oblivious not only to the robot and gorilla almost upon him, but to the five hundred bunnies as well. ”Would it be 'chee chee rabbit rabbit chee?' Or would it be 'chee chee cartoon rabbit cartoon rabbit chee'?”
”Hey, Zabana!” Louie yelled as he kicked the gorilla (which, upon closer inspection, looked more like a guy in a gorilla suit) in the seat of the pants. ”You've got com- pany!”
”Company? Zabana like company!” The jungle prince turned to regard the gorilla and the robot (which, upon closer inspection, looked an awful lot like a guy in a robot suit). He smiled. ”How you like jungle prince bear hug greeting?”
”And I almost had him!” the newest fellow with the pencil-thin mustache screamed.
”I'll show you what I do to people who try to thwart my deadly-yet-economical plans!
You do not toy with someone who controls Mort the Killer Robot, and Diablo, the Gorilla with the Mind of a Man. Prepare to face the wrath of Professor Peril!”
But, for now, Professor Peril only stood there and seethed. Delores glanced back at the glowering Big Bertha, then at her many minions, who hesitantly took a step for- ward; then at the ring of surrounding bunnies, who all lifted their cream pies into better throwing position.
Something was bound to happen very soon.
”I'll get you rabbits yet” a voice called from the edge of the woods.
”Who's that?” Professor Peril called.
Still somewhat frazzled, Menge peered into the distance. ”Some old guy in a wizard suit.”
”No,” Bertha interjected. ”I recognize that suit from a certain volcano sacrifice I recently attended. That's not just any old guy in a wizard suit; it's one old guy in a very particular wizard suit!”
”Do you mean-” Professor Peril began hastily.
”But it can't-” Menge the Merciless objected.
Bertha nodded her head sadly. ”It most certainly can be-Doctor Dread!”
”I'll get you bunnies if it's the last darned thing I do!” the Dread wizard shouted at the rabbit horde.
”Uh-oh,” the hundred minions moaned in unison.
”We have to do something!” Professor Peril insisted. ”And we have to do it now!”That's when things started to happen. Menge, Peril, Bertha, and the many minions all started to run-except for Mort and Diablo, who had a tendency to lumber-in no particular direction. Perhaps they were trying to rescue Doctor Dread from this fate worse than almost anything, perhaps they were simply attempting to escape the deadly pie a.s.sault. Whatever they were doing-thanks in large part to the five hundred cream pies, which seemed to be evenly divided between lemon and chocolate-it was a mess.
”I've got him!” Professor Peril shouted from beneath a faceful of whipped cream. ”I've got Doctor Dread!”
”What are you talking about!” Dread struggled in Peril's grasp. He might have gotten away, too, if the professor had not quickly handed him over to the collective grasp of Mort the Killer Robot, and Diablo, the Gorilla with the Mind of a Man.
”I am Malevelo!” Dread insisted. ”Bane of cartoon rabbits everywhere! I cannot leave here until my job is done- and cute cartoon bunnies are eliminated-forever!”
”Oh boy!” Bouncer chuckled. ”Da time has come for more exploding carrots!” He bounded heavily back into the forest.
”I think,” Peril spoke economically, ”it's time to leave.”
”Very well,” Menge the Merciless agreed. ”The master plan is too far along. Soon, the Change will change our way-forever! There is no way for these heroic incompetents to stop us now! Villainous lackeys, set your rings. We leave to conquer the Cineverse! Ah hanahaha! Ah haha-haha!”
The entire meadow was covered with blue smoke, carried away quickly by the animated wind. The circle of bunnies let out a collective gasp. Not only had all the bad guys, including the wizard-suited Doctor Dread, vanished, but they had taken all remnants of the pie-fight with them as well. There was nothing left in the meadow but green gra.s.s and wildflowers, s.h.i.+ning in the cartoon sun.
”Nary a crumb,” Pinknose remarked.
”And after all that baking!” Fluffytail lamented.
”Don't worry!” Delores called out, automatically reacting to the sight of five hundred depressed cartoon rabbits. ”The pies may be gone, but look at the results you've gotten. You've defeated the combined might of the nastiest bunch of villains ever to do evil in the Cineverse!” She paused to wave at the horde of rabbits surrounding her.