Part 39 (1/2)

”In Derlingport?” queried Philo Gubb.

”In Derlingport,” said the Bald Impostor nervously, ”for that is where he went. I'll get him there. But half of the thousand dollars is rightfully yours, and you shall have it.”

”Thousand dollars?” queried Philo Gubb in amazement.

”The reward has been increased,” said the false Mr. Burns. ”The--the publishers of 'Who's Who' increased it to a thousand because the Bald Impostor works on the names in their book. They thought they ought to.

But you shall have your half of the thousand. I can pick him up in Derlingport this afternoon if--if I can get there in time. And of course I _should_ have arrested him here in Riverbank where you are our correspondent and thus ent.i.tled to half the reward earned by any one in the head office. You knew that, didn't you?”

”No!” said Philo Gubb. ”Am I?”

”Didn't you get circular No. 786?” asked the Bald Impostor.

”I didn't ever get the receipt of it at all,” said Mr. Gubb.

”An oversight,” said the Bald Impostor. ”I'll send you one the minute I get back to Chicago. I'll pick up the Bald Impostor at Derlingport this afternoon--if--Mr. Gubb, I am ashamed to make an admission to you. I--”

The Bald Impostor sat on the edge of his chair and pearls of perspiration came upon his brow. He took out his silk handkerchief and wiped his forehead.

”Go right on ahead and say whatever you've got upon your mind to say,”

said Mr. Gubb.

”Well, the fact is,” said the false Mr. Burns nervously, ”I'm short of cash. I need just one dollar and eighty cents to get to Derlingport!”

”Why, of course!” said Philo Gubb heartily. ”All of us get into similar or like predicaments at various often times, Mr. Burns. It is a pleasure to be able to help out a feller deteckative in such a time and manner. Only--”

”Yes?” said the Bald Impostor nervously.

”Only I couldn't think of giving you only the bare mere sum to get to Derlingport,” said the graduate of the Rising Sun Detective Agency's Correspondence School of Detecting, generously. ”I couldn't think of letting you start off away with anything less than a ten-dollar bill.”

DIETZ'S 7462 BESSIE JOHN

Philo Gubb sat on an upturned bundle of rolls of wall-paper in the dining-room of Mrs. Pilker's famous Pilker mansion, in Riverbank, biting into a thick ham sandwich. It was noon.

Mr. Gubb ate methodically, taking a large bite of sandwich, chewing the bite long and well, and then swallowing it with a wonderful up and down gliding of his k.n.o.bby Adam's apple. From time to time he turned his head and looked at the walls of the dining-room. The time was Sat.u.r.day noon, and but one wall was covered with the new wall-paper, a natural forest tapestry paper, with lifelike representations of leafy trees. He had promised to have the Pilker dining-room completed by Sat.u.r.day night. It seemed quite impossible to Philo Gubb that he could finish the Pilker dining-room before dark, and it worried him.

Other matters, even closer to his heart, worried Mr. Gubb. He had had a great quarrel with Mr. Medderbrook, the father of the fair Fat Lady of the World's Greatest Combined Shows. Judge Orley Morvis had paid Mr. Gubb twenty dollars for certain detective work, but Mr. Gubb had not turned all this over to Mr. Medderbrook, and Mr. Medderbrook had resented this. He told Mr. Gubb he was a cheap, tank-town sport.

”I worked hard,” said Mr. Medderbrook, ”to sell you that Utterly Hopeless Gold-Mine stock and now you hold out on me. That's not the way I expect a jay-town easy-mark--”

”I beg your pardon, but what was that term of phrase you called me?”

asked Mr. Gubb.

”I called you,” said Mr. Medderbrook, changing his tone to one of politeness, ”an easy-mark. In high financial circles the term is short for 'easy-market-investor,' meaning one who never buys stocks unless he is sure they are of the highest cla.s.s and at the lowest price.”

”Well, I should hereafter prefer not to be so called,” said Mr. Gubb.

Almost as soon as he had said the cruel words he regretted them, but the next day Mr. Medderbrook's colored butler came to Mr. Gubb's office with a telegram for which he demanded thirty-six dollars and fifty cents.