Part 22 (1/2)
Ava followed Romie into the tiled hall. The ceilings were low and beamed, the walls white, the rooms small and cozy. Ava remembered the times she had stayed there as a teenager for dances and dinner parties. Before she could dwell on the memory of a certain pink satin dress, Daisy was striding out of the kitchen to greet her. ”I can't tell you how nice it is to see you, Ava! Most of my friends have disowned me.” The two women kissed. Daisy smelled of Yves Saint Laurent's Paris. ”Come and have some coffee. I've opened a packet of biscuits.”
”You're just in time,” added Romie from the butcher's table. ”She's off to South Africa on Friday.”
”For good?” Ava asked.
”Forever,” said Daisy, pouring coffee into the cups.
”Oh, Daisy. You must have gone through h.e.l.l.”
”It's been terribly hard. But I've done enough weeping and wailing. One has to look on the bright side or one would go mad.”
”How did it happen?”
Daisy smiled resignedly and shook her head. ”I'm amazed you came to see me, Ava. I know your mother disapproves very strongly.”
”Duty and all that,” said Ava, embarra.s.sed that word had got back. ”She's a different generation.”
”Listen, she's not a lone voice, I a.s.sure you. What I did was unforgivable. I fell in love with another man. But I was so unhappy, Ava. I was a shadow of myself. Wasting my life with a man I no longer loved, loving a man I couldn't have. My love consumed me. I was a terrible mother and a terrible wife, no good to anyone.” She swept her curly brown hair off her face and Ava glimpsed a hint of weariness in her eyes. ”Michael and I weren't like you and Phillip. If we had enjoyed a contented marriage it would never have happened. Unhappiness is the perfect breeding ground for infidelity.” Loneliness is, too, Ava wanted to add, but kept her thoughts to herself.
”How did you meet him?”
”We were in Cape Town for a wedding. It was love at first sight. I thought long and hard, Ava, but in the end I felt it would be better for the children to grow up in a house of joy rather than a house of sorrow.” She nibbled a biscuit reflectively. ”You see, Ava, we never had the beautiful estate that you have. My children are going from an ordinary little suburban house to a stunning country house in the middle of mountains. It's an idyll. They'll love it. South Africa is beautiful.”
”But what about Michael?”
She lowered her eyes. ”Don't,” she groaned. ”He'll see them in the holidays. They'll get the best of both worlds.” But she clearly knew that wasn't true. Nothing could replace their father. She suddenly looked old and deflated. It was the first time that Ava had seen the true face she hid behind her smile.
”You're doing your best,” said Ava gently. ”You can't replace the eggs once the sh.e.l.ls are broken. But you're making the best omelette you can.”
Daisy laughed. ”Trust you to come up with something like that. I am doing my best. G.o.d, I've had every accusation thrown at me. From callously leaving my children to suing Michael for hundreds of thousands. First, I never left my children. I was always going to come back for them. Michael knew that. Second, poor old Michael doesn't have any money, so I can hardly fleece him of what he doesn't have.”
”So, what's this South African like?”
Ava and Daisy took their coffee cups and strolled around the garden. It was a beautiful morning, clear and bright, the freshly emerging leaves still glittering with dew. ”How has your mother taken it all?”
”She puts on a good show, but she's ashamed, of course. But what can she do? She's my mother, she has to support me. I'm running off to South Africa, she has to stick around and answer to all her friends. You wouldn't believe the people who have turned their backs on us. The least expected.” She shrugged. ”At least I now know who my friends are.” She turned to Ava. ”I can count on you, can't I?”
Ava smiled. ”You can,” she said firmly. ”I understand. Love is never simple. It can turn the sanest mind mad with longing. It distorts everything. Once the dust settles, you'll be happy out there with your Rupert. You've got courage. I don't think I'd ever be as brave as you. I suppose one has to weigh it all up-do I live for me, or for others?”
”And you never know how you're going to act until it happens to you.”
Ava drove away envying Daisy. She had got what she wanted, but at what cost to Michael? Ava loved Phillip too much ever to hurt him like that.
Just when Ava was beginning to tolerate life without Jean-Paul, Phillip announced he'd had a telephone call from Jean-Paul's father, Henri. Ava was in the vegetable garden planting seeds with Hector. When she heard the news she stood up, trowel in hand, her face and hands grubby with mud. ”You've heard from Henri?” she repeated, anxious to hear more. ”What did he say?” Is Jean-Paul coming back?
A smile played around Phillip's mouth, for he knew the news would please his wife. ”He's asked us to stay at the beginning of May.”
”To stay?” she repeated, incredulous.
”Yes. I thought you'd be pleased. We could take our holiday there. You'll love Henri, he's a real character and Antoinette, his wife, is a keen gardener like you.”
”What about Jean-Paul?”
”What about him?”
”When is he coming back?”
”I don't know. Didn't he tell you how long he was going to be away?”
”No,” she replied quickly, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. ”So he'll be there?”
”I'm sure he will. I told him we're very pleased with Jean-Paul's work. That he's learning a great deal. I told him he's indispensable to us now-thought a little exaggeration wouldn't hurt.”
”Didn't he think it odd that he had gone home?”
”Clearly not. Why is it odd?”
”He's been away three weeks.”
”You're not missing him, are you, Shrub-the woman who said she wouldn't last more than a week with him?”
She turned away, pretending to be keeping an eye on Hector. ”Well, we could do with his help. There's an awful lot to do around here.”
”So, what should I tell Henri?”
Ava lost her focus among the greenhouses, aware that she was standing at a crossroads and that her fate and perhaps the fate of her whole family depended on the choice she made now. She thought of Daisy Hopeton. How she had disapproved. But was she any better? Then something pulled at her. An invisible cord attached to her heart, pulling her across an unseen threshold. ”Tell him yes,” she said slowly, knowing that she should have taken the other path. ”Tell him we'd love to.”
”Good. I knew you'd be pleased. Don't I always come up with the goods?” He chuckled and wandered through the gate in the wall back to the house. Ava felt the familiar tingle of excitement and the rising of her spirits out of the smog that had been her unhappiness. Suddenly she was able to see the suns.h.i.+ne and feel its warm rays on her face. She looked around at the budding trees and bushes and breathed in the fertile scents of flowering shrubs and new gra.s.s, allowing spring to uplift her as it always did.
She knelt down and continued to plant the marrow seeds for Poppy. Inside, her stomach was filled with bubbles. Then she felt the guilt, p.r.i.c.king each bubble one by one, spoiling her joy. She told herself that her desire to see Jean-Paul again was innocent. That all she wanted to do was to be in his company and convince him to return with them to Hartington. They would be dear friends. That was all.
That night Phillip made love to her. She was so overwhelmed with happiness that she received him enthusiastically, pulling him into her arms, kissing him pa.s.sionately, savoring his attention, telling him how much she loved him. Masking the secret feelings she had for Jean-Paul.
”You're back, Shrub,” he said afterward, scrunching her tousled hair in his hand. ”You haven't been yourself.”
”I'm sorry.”
”Don't apologize, darling. I don't like to see you unhappy, that's all.”
”You're very sweet to put up with the potato face.”
”It wasn't a potato face, Shrub. More like a weeping willow. I want you to be a sunflower all year round.”
”So do I.”
He paused a moment. She began to plan what she would pack. ”You're not unhappy with Jean-Paul, are you?”