Part 19 (2/2)

We are left hand and right hand, the tide and the sh.o.r.e, yin and yang. We are the same, you and I.'

'I'm nothing like you!'

'Do you drink the blood of living things?'

'Yes.'

'Have you ever taken pleasure from the pain and sufferings of others?'

'I--'.

'Be truthful!'

'Yes, but they deserved-'

'Do you find humans blind and ignorant sheep, dragging the rest of creation with them on their mad dash to extinction?'

'Not all of them--'

'You are exactly like me! The one difference is that you still cling to the ghost of your humanity! You've somehow gotten it into your head that humans are to be pitied and envied instead of used. Why should you hold yourself to ideals that the vast majority of humans have discarded? Our kind do not create evil. Humanity does that all on its own.

But we of the enkidu - and others of the Pretending races are not averse to manipulating human misdeeds to suit our needs. We did not invent the n.a.z.i concentration camps, or the Russian gulags, or the Khymer Rouge killing fidds, or the Serbian rape camps, but we would be fools to turn our backs on such fertile sources of... nourishment'

'I've never had anything to do with anything like that--'

'Haven't you? Then why do you prefer to spend your time in the inner city? It's not just a matter of camouflage. Don't you feel a high every time you prowl a ghetto neighborhood - the more crime-ridden the better? Does it make you feel more alive - more alert- to trawl for prey in the most hopeless sectors of town? Oh, I'm sure you're telling yourself you're stalking those neighborhoods because that's where your prey is most likely to be. But there's more to it than that, isn't there? A lot more.'

He was right. She'd never been willing to admit it to herself before, but now there was no denying it. It was like he knew her, knew her in a way no other had before. The intimacy was both disturbing and compelling.

'Do you know what it's like to be lonely, Sonja?' Morgan's voice was quiet but intensely personal, as if they were standing by a country lake instead of high atop a skysc.r.a.per. 'Do you know what it's like to be surrounded by people but to be painfully, horribly alone? Do you fear that you might someday disappear into the emptiness that once held your heart?'

'Yes.' Her voice was so small she wasn't even certain she'd actually said the word aloud. Perhaps she hadn't.

'You know nothing of loneliness,' Morgan hissed, his voice suddenly growing a hard, rusty edge. 'You won't even have an inkling of what it's like for another century or two! To stand outside the flow of time and watch those you once called friends, confidants, and lovers wither away and die like leaves on a tree - knowing that no matter how many servants and consorts you surround yourself with, in the end you will always be alone. And the most horrible thing of all is that you will come to realize that you have no equal. There is no one who will ever truly fulfill your needs, challenge your expectations, or understand what drives you.

'The humans who are drawn to our kind are far from worthy companions. They're attracted to our inhumanity our monstrosity, if you will. They love us for what we are not, not for what we are. Even the brightest and most loyal renfield is little more than a pet. One that you will outlive and, in time, forget. How could it be otherwise?

'As the years bleed into decades, the decades lengthen into centuries, your memory will become so vast you'll be bored by everything and everyone. Nothing will be new. No sight will be unseen. No act undone. Without diversions and stimulation, the Ennui will eventually claim you. Meddling in the affairs of humans provides us with a certain amount of stimulation, but even that wearies after a while. That was why I spent so much time and energy trying to create my own breed of vampire. A desire to have my progeny rule the earth was a motivating factor, I'll admit to that. But mostly it was an attempt to keep myself ... involved; to provide myself with new challenges.

'Of course, it failed horribly, largely because of your interference.

I've realized in the years since then that my plans were foolish, perhaps even dangerous. Anise and Fell were made of weaker stuff than yourself, but they proved themselves stronger than I had imagined possible. And that is what prompted me to thinking that I have been surrounding myself with inferiors. All vampires do so - we naturally fear those as strong as ourselves. In vampire society there are only two positions - slave and master. To not be one is to be the other.

We tend to ensure that our gets will be subservient. We rarely infect those who show signs of the inner strength, intelligence, and ambition that, in time, will result in n.o.bles. For a vampire to a.s.sert its will and claim its place in the hierarchy, it must break free of its Maker. And few of us are willing to pay for companions.h.i.+p with our very existence.'

'You didn't kill Pangloss.'

Morgan fell silent for a moment, his face unreadable.

'Pangloss ... did not need to be killed. When the time came, he recognized me as his better. He surrendered his control over me in exchange for his continued existence. As I said, ours is a society of masters and slaves. That is why, in the five hundred years since I threw off his yoke of obedience, Pangloss was never able to do me genuine harm.'

'Perhaps it was because he loved you.'

Morgan barked a humorless laugh.

'His last words were of you.'

Morgan did not look surprised, but instead seemed to take it as his due. 'He's dead, then?'

'The Pangloss you knew no longer exists.'

Morgan shrugged. 'He no longer concerns me. What concerns me is you. I have found in you a strength unparalleled in others of my kind. You possess a freshness, a vitality, I consider most invigorating. Perhaps it is your extreme youth, as the enkidu measure such things, that inspires me. But when I look at you, when I am with you, I feel as if the world has been remade anew and that I am its conqueror.'

'What are you saying?'

'Only that I have had numerous brides in my past, but I have yet to take a queen.' Morgan gestured to the winking lights that stretched as far as the eye could see 'We could rule the vampire and human worlds alike, you and I. With your immunity to silver and ability to travel during the daylight hours, we would be invincible. Every n.o.ble would be forced to swear allegiance to us and submit to our will. We will be unstoppable. We will be forever.'

'What makes you think I'd go along with it?'

'I don't. But what else have you to do?'

'I could kill you.'

'And then what? Will you marry? Raise children? Prepare for retirement? Will killing me turn you back into Denise Thorne? Once I'm gone, what then will provide you with a reason for your existence? Will you continue mindlessly killing vampires simply because you have grown accustomed to it? Or will you succ.u.mb to the Ennui, as did Pangloss?

'You must cast aside your childish understanding of how the world works. All n.o.bles have blood vendettas against one another, but none of us truly wishes the other's demise.

Otherwise we would soon grow tired of the game and find ourselves withering away from boredom. You, on the other hand, are a genuine psychopath, killing the very thing that provides you reason for continuing.

'I blame myself, in part, for your madness. After all, if I had been there for you, schooling you in the nuances of n.o.ble society, you wouldn't be as confused as you are now.

Child, you have been acting on instinct out of ignorance and self-loathing, doing what comes naturally to our kind but without understanding the why and wherefore of it all.

Tell me the truth, Sonja, don't you weary of constantly battling with yourself? Don't you long to surrender the burden of conscience? Don't you weary of forever being on guard against losing control?'

Sonja's eyes seemed to look somewhere far away. 'Yes,' she whispered.

'Then cast away your hatred! Put aside your weapon! Embrace me as a queen 'Would her king, and the struggle will be over! We were meant to be together, Sonja. Ignorance and fear have kept us apart for these many years - but no longer! Do it, Sonja. Just do it.'

His words were so soft. So sweet. So soothing. Some of what he said made no sense, but a lot of it hit home. Sonja felt something within her soften and begin to give way. She suddenly felt so tired. So very, very tired. All she wanted was to curl up and fall into a deep sleep.

The Other dug its fingers into her forebrain, shrieking and spitting like an enraged mountain lion. The pain that filled her head was so huge there was no way she could even scream.

Stupid c.u.n.t! He's reeling you in like a fis.h.!.+ Morgan's an expert at finding vulnerable spots and manipulating them to his advantage! All this sweet talk about 'queens' and 'equals' is nothing but bulls.h.i.+t! Vampires are either masters or slaves! He said so himself! He's setting you up, girlfriend, and you're Falling for it like the proverbial ton of bricks! Wake up, d.a.m.n You! Wake up and kill him - kill him now!

Sonja staggered backward, away from Morgan, as another bolt of agony ripped through her gray matter. Purple-black stars exploded behind her eyelids.

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