Part 14 (2/2)

Does that make me sound ridiculous? Wait. Don't answer that.

Yeah. I can't tell her what I've been doing. She'll flip out.

”I've been exploring London,” I say. That's code for ”I've been exploring Caden's body.” ”I've learned a lot.” Like how he loves it when I lick his inner thighs. Well, he doesn't really love it, more like he starts laughing because he's ticklish there, and it's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

”Like what?” Violet asks.

”Uh ...” That goose b.u.mps race over Caden's skin right before he comes. That he truly enjoys going down on a woman, specifically me. Oh, and that he dreams about me sometimes. I heard him say my name two nights ago but when I answered him he didn't reply, and I realized he was asleep.

”You're with that Caden guy, aren't you?” she spits out, shocking me silent.

Well. I was already silent because I was scrambling to come up with something to say, but now I'm really quiet.

”Your silence is as good as an admittance of guilt,” Violet says. ”I've been talking to Whitney. She says Caden went to her apartment Sunday, grabbed all of his stuff, and hasn't been back since. Hasn't called or texted her, either.”

d.a.m.n right he hasn't called or been back, because he's with me.

Oh, dear. I sound ridiculously possessive. What has this man done to me?

”Does she think he's with me?” I ask nonchalantly.

”She has no idea where he is. I love Whit, but she's kind of clueless sometimes.” Violet's voice turns brisk. ”But that doesn't matter. What matters is what are you doing, hanging out with him? You know nothing about him.”

”You're right. I don't.” I know plenty, but none of it is for public consumption.

”You don't even know his last name,” she points out.

”I do, too. It's Kingsley.” I clamp my lips shut, wis.h.i.+ng I hadn't said that. Not that she couldn't have asked Whitney for that information, but now I'm afraid Violet will run off and do a Google search on him.

I should do a Google search on him, but I'm ... scared. Of what I might find out. What if it's bad? I'd rather exist in this blissful ignorant state. It's nice here. Full of good food and sleep and lots of naked touching time. I like it.

I don't want to end it.

You have to end it.

”Well, this Caden Kingsley person can't be good for you. He's encouraging you to ignore all of your responsibilities,” Violet says. ”You need to come in to the office. I want to talk to you. Leaving Fleur is not the answer to your problems.”

”You're the one who told me to let go and indulge in myself for a while,” I point out. ”Now you're nagging at me like an old maid.”

”I'm nagging you because I'm concerned,” she says. ”You're right. I told you to indulge in yourself and have a good time and all that nonsense, but I didn't expect you to completely fall off the grid like you have.”

”It's not going to be forever,” I say, my voice small, the sound echoing in the empty bathroom. ”I plan on returning to New York ... soon.”

”How soon? And are you going back to Fleur? Father didn't take your notice seriously. He believes you'll come back.”

That almost p.i.s.ses me off, that Daddy didn't take my giving notice seriously. But then again I shouldn't be surprised. ”I don't know.” Plus, it all depends. How long is Caden staying in London? Is he eventually returning to New York? Would he want to-gasp-see me once we're both in New York?

Probably not.

”Well, you'd better figure out a firmer answer than that, because that'll be the first thing Father will ask you.” Violet pauses and when she resumes speaking, her voice is softer. Lower. ”He has some news for you.”

Dread slithers down my spine, settling in an ice-cold pool in my stomach. ”What sort of news?”

”I should let him tell you,” she says vaguely.

”No. Tell me, Violet. I want to know.” I think I already know, but I don't want it to be true. It can't be true ...

”He asked her to marry him.” Violet releases a shuddering sigh. ”She's wearing a ring. One of Grandma's old rings, a tacky-looking diamond that's so large it doesn't look real. A castoff. At least, that's what Grandma called it. You know she hates Pilar as much as we do.”

I say nothing. What can I say? I knew this moment was coming, no matter how much I wanted to deny it. ”I'm sure she's getting the promotion then, too,” I finally say, my voice raspy, my throat dry.

”That hasn't been formally announced yet, but I'm guessing the answer is yes. He's willing enough to marry her, so I'm sure he's more than willing to give her the coveted promotion,” Violet says snidely.

I wanted that promotion. My current position-or the position I left, that is-isn't even a real one. It was created for me when I started working at Fleur full-time. I wanted to earn a vice-president position on my own merits. On my talents and the love and hard work I put into Fleur, not because I'm a Fowler.

And here's Pilar, getting a promotion, getting an engagement ring ... getting everything she wants. Stomping all over me in the process, too. I know she just about had a party when Violet left to work in London. Now she can get rid of me too and take over completely, standing right by Daddy's side and waiting for the day he retires? I shouldn't give her the satisfaction.

I turn and press my forehead against the wall of the tub, closing my eyes. Violet is still talking and she sounds so furious, so frustrated. I know it's pointless to get so upset, to waste so much energy.

What's done is done.

She catches my attention when she declares that she and Ryder have no plans to return to New York anytime soon. I open my eyes and sit straight up in the tub. ”What do you mean, you're not leaving London anytime soon?”

”We can't go back there, not with Pilar. Ryder refuses to. There's too much bad blood between them. Too much bad blood between us as well,” she adds.

”How can Daddy do this? Is he blind to all of the awful things she does? She's tearing our family apart.” I told myself it didn't matter, that I wouldn't expend so much energy being upset over this, but I can feel the tears threatening. And I refuse to let them fall. ”I hate her.”

”Maybe he'll see one day,” Violet says softly, her voice choked with emotion too. ”She makes him happy, Rose. We can't deny him happiness.”

”You would say that,” I mutter with a wretched laugh that turns into a sob. I slap my hand over my mouth, trying to stop it, contain it, but it's no use. The tears are flowing freely now. I wonder if I should tell her about our mother's last few entries in her diary before she died. Violet deserves to know. But how can I say anything about them after the news she just delivered? The timing is all wrong. ”I have to go,” I say with a loud sniff.

”Rose. Rosie. Don't cry, sweetie. She's not worth your tears, trust me.” Violet pauses, and I can practically see her brain scrambling as she tries to figure out what to say next. ”You want me to come over? Or how about you come over to our place? I'll take you out to dinner. You can spend the night and we can stay up late and watch movies. What do you think?”

”No. I'm fine. Really.” I wipe the tears from my face, rest my hand against my mouth and nose. ”I'll call you later, okay?”

”Promise?”

”I promise.” I end the call and set the phone carefully on the side of the tub before I push myself out of it, going to the sink so I can splash cold water on my face.

But it doesn't help. My cheeks are tinged with pink and my eyes are rimmed with red. I look miserable. I feel miserable.

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