Part 5 (1/2)

Relief washed over me as I entered the empty kitchen. I grabbed a water bottle and some Advil for my headache and tiptoed up the stairs so that Justin didn't notice me home.

The sound of heavy breathing coming from his bedroom stopped me in my tracks at the top of the stairwell. I could hear sheets rustling. My heart beat faster. He didn't think anyone would be home.

Oh my G.o.d.

He must have a girl in there.

s.h.i.+t.

How could he do that to Jade?

I had to pa.s.s his room to get to mine anyway. Thank goodness Nana had this hallway carpeted. Covering my chest with my hand, I crept slowly toward his door which was cracked open. I closed my eyes briefly to prepare myself for what I might witness when I peeked inside.

Nothing could have prepared me for the reality behind that door.

There was no girl.

Justin's eyes were tightly shut as he lay back on the bed-alone. His jeans were undone, halfway down his legs. His left hand was firmly wrapped around his enormous c.o.c.k as he pressed down on his b.a.l.l.s with his other hand.

Holy mother of...

Swallowing the saliva building in my mouth, I watched the movement of his hand as he stroked himself hard in a twisting motion. He'd gotten himself so aroused that you could hear the slick sound of the wetness as he pumped into his palm.

I knew that watching him was absolutely wrong. In fact, this was probably the lowest thing I'd ever done. But there was absolutely no way I could look away. No. Way. If this were going to be the reason I went to h.e.l.l, then so be it. I'd never witnessed something so intense, never imagined that he could be deriving so much pleasure alone.

I wanted to see how this ended.

I needed to see how it ended.

Justin's mouth was agape, the tip of his tongue slowly sliding back and forth across his bottom lip as if it were seeking out the taste of something or someone.

I wanted it to be me.

My own body was shaking, my c.l.i.t throbbing. The ache to be with him, to join him was immense. So enraptured in every move he made, I was no longer thinking about whether my watching him was right or wrong.

Hypnotized.

He was fisting the sheets with one hand now while f.u.c.king his palm faster. With every movement, my muscles clenched tighter. I was wet, bewildered at my mind's complete surrender to my body.

The low and deep groans of pleasure that came out of his mouth were making it that much worse. I knew wholeheartedly that this-watching him pleasure himself-was the single biggest turn on I had ever experienced. Getting off was normally such work for me. I needed my vibrator and p.o.r.n and even then, sometimes it was impossible to relax enough to really make myself come. Right now, I had to cross my legs to control the need building between them.

As he licked over his bottom lip again, my own tongue tingled as I imagined what his wet mouth would feel like against my own lips. As he pumped into his hand, I imagined that it was me wrapped around his c.o.c.k. I had never wanted anyone as badly as I wanted him in that moment.

His dark golden hair was matted and messy as the back of his head pressed against the headboard. The clank of his belt buckle became more p.r.o.nounced as he thrust his hips, his fist working harder to keep up. The intensity of his self-pleasure left me in total awe.

His breathing became even more ragged as his eyes rolled back. I swallowed hard and watched, mesmerized as streams of c.u.m shot out from his large crown like a fountain. The grunts of pleasure escaping him as he o.r.g.a.s.med were just about the s.e.xiest sounds I'd ever heard come out of a man's mouth.

My heart felt like it was pounding out of my chest. Watching this whole thing unfold had made me totally lose sense of reality. I felt like I'd been experiencing every movement, every feeling right along with him, except I wasn't allowed to come. It was as if I'd seriously lost my mind in the process. That was the only thing that could possibly explain why my body decided to betray me, letting out an involuntary sigh....moan? I wasn't sure and couldn't even tell you what it was except to say whatever sound I made caused Justin to jump back. His head whipped toward me, and his shocked eyes met mine for a brief second before I ran back down the stairs.

Humiliated.

Mortified.

My heart felt like it was in my mouth. Escaping out the front door and down to the water, I continued to run aimlessly on the sand. At one point, about a mile down the beach, it became necessary to stop and catch my breath, even though I wanted to keep running. I'd gotten so wrapped up in Justin that I'd forgotten how sick I was this afternoon. It was all hitting me again as I stumbled over to the sh.o.r.eline and vomited into the ocean.

I collapsed into the sand and must have sat there for over an hour. The sun was starting to go down, and the tide was coming in. It felt like everything was closing in on me. I knew I couldn't avoid going home forever.

What if he told Jade what I'd done?

That I was watching him.

Oh G.o.d.

He was going to crucify me for this.

What excuse could I possibly give him that would explain why I was hiding behind his door, watching him e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.e like it was a Fourth of July fireworks performance?

I decided that I needed to get home before Jade did. Maybe I could convince him not to say anything. Brus.h.i.+ng the sand off my thighs, I made my way back over to the house.

My heart nearly stopped upon finding Justin standing in the kitchen, drinking out of a half-gallon of orange juice. I stood silently behind him and watched as he put the container back.

Justin turned around and finally noticed me standing there. His hair was wet, making it appear brown instead of blond. He must have taken a shower to wash away the awkwardness of our encounter. Looking painfully handsome in a brown distressed t-s.h.i.+rt that fit his chest like a glove, he just stared me down.

Here it comes.

I braced myself for his humiliating words. My heart was beating out of my chest as he just continued to look at me blankly without saying anything. He slowly walked toward me, and all of the muscles in my body tightened. He was going to get in my face and do it.

s.h.i.+t.

Justin stood inches away from me. He smelled so effing good, like soap and cologne. I could feel the heat of his body, and my knees started to feel weak. He stared deeply into my eyes. It wasn't necessarily an angry glare, but it wasn't a happy or amused look either.

After several seconds of silence, he took a deep breath in and said, ”You smell like vomit.”

Just as I opened my mouth to respond, he turned around and walked away back toward the stairs before disappearing.

That was it?

I smelled like vomit?

He was going to let the whole thing go? Or was he just saving it for later when Jade came home? I would have to wait anxiously to find out.

Business at Sandy's had really suffered since losing The Ruckus-their headlining band. Salvatore had managed to fill the spot each night with mediocre local talent, but people were noticing the difference. The place would empty out much earlier than normal, and we weren't getting as many customers in general.

I knew that Jade had spoken to Justin about taking on a few nights, but last I'd heard, he wasn't interested. So, you could imagine my surprise when he turned up at Sandy's one early Friday evening with his guitar strap wrapped around him.

At first, I didn't realize it was him until he looked over at me. b.u.t.terflies swarmed in my stomach the moment I noticed him standing near the door, looking like he didn't know where to go. Since it was unseasonably cool out, he was wearing a navy hoodie and a beanie. G.o.d, he looked s.e.xy in that hat. It always seemed to bring out his eyes. Really, he looked s.e.xy in anything, but today, he was particularly hot because he also hadn't shaved in days.

Given how he'd treated me, my physical attraction to him never ceased to amaze me. It was easier to focus on the physical, I suppose. Justin's exterior, which was so different from what I remembered, helped distract from what I knew was inside. The truth was, as much as I wanted him physically, it still didn't compare to the longing that remained for my old friend. Somewhere hidden beneath the brawn and beauty, I knew he was still in there, and that frustrated me.