34 A Brads State of Mind Pt. 3 (2/2)

”I'll be going Blessing. I'll be going for a very long time. And I don't expect you to understand. But all the time we spent with each other, I care for you. And that is why you cant have a drink here. Because you have to drive back to home. And I'd prefer if you're sober while you do it.”

”Its still too vague. Be clearer. Are you going on a school trip? Are you moving to Kathmandu? What are you saying?”

”I'm saying that I am leaving you.”

That sentence hit me like a bolt of lightning. It felt like it didn't register in my mind. Was she abandoning me?

I concentrated on these questions in my head that I forgot I was drooling.

Madonna said,” Close your mouth and listen to me. I booked this whole club just to give you this news. Now, I only have this whole place for two more hours. So ask me anything in that time. I'll answer any and all of your questions.”

I didn't have the strength to understand the words coming out of her mouth. I was still shell shocked by the previous statement of hers.

Leaving me.

Leaving ME?

”Why…”

”Why? That's all you can ask me? C'mon Blessing, you can do better than that.”

I guess she waited for me to change my question. But when I sat still for a long time, she proceeded to answer my previous one.

”Well, you are an amazing person. You gave me a job. You gave me a house. You gave me your care. And that is all I needed to stand up after that messy debacle between me and Priscilla. Speaking of, you didn't tell her that I was in your care. Thank you for that.”

”How… How did you know?”

”I have my ways, Blessing. I didn't spend five years with her dillydalling. Anyway, getting back to the topic at hand. I knew about your husband and bodyguard and whatnots. It all happened when I was planning my exit with Priscilla. but to find you in Nepal with your new company was a bonus. I started working for you, hoping that you'd actually tell Priscilla that I was working for you.”

My tears had started pouring down my cheeks when I realized that being a good person to her had backfired. Now all I could think about was getting truth out of her.

”Why?” I repeated.

”When Priscilla and your company met for the sponsorship of Velocity, she was known as a naïve young woman with not much in the way of presentation. But I build trust with your partners and made something out of her. they knew that I was the one running the campaign. So if they knew that I was on their side, I would have sat in the major meetings much sooner. My controversy was in music business, and I had more than enough people to convince the higher ups in your company that I sacrificed my position for something grander. I would have been a martyr in your partners' eyes. But you didn't reveal it, and I had to wait for you to make a move. Which you did, after a whole eight or nine months.”

I was trying to keep my sobs to myself. Madonna was a totally different person today. She was aloof and distant to my pathetic condition. But I asked another question.

”Why… Shaft?”

”Oh, you're talking about my fake last name. well, easy. Madonna house was one of the most recognizable name in the music industry. It would look bad if an artist like me went for a conventional job. It wouldn't look good on my resume. I actually wanted to work under you because you're too emotionally brittle. Asking you for favors was easy. You were still recuperating from your cheating husband. And you needed someone to lend you the shoulder. Voila.”

My health bar was declining. My eyes were filled with tears. My head was read to explode. My body was becoming jittery. Still, I managed to squeeze one more question.

”Why… lie?”

The cheerful demeanor vanished in the thick air and Madonna spoke in a grave manner,” It was not JUST about you. I had lost all my resources when I left Priscilla,” she took a brief pause before she started talking at lower volume,” I had mouths to feed. I had people to take care of. And I needed money fast and easy to do so. I don't expect you to understand, but it was not you who was in the wrong.”

Madonna took a deep breath once more and returned back to her previous obnoxious way of talk,” And there you have it. My saga with you, wrapped up in four paragraphs. Aren't I amazing?”

I realized that I was a complete fool. But I didn't want to lose Madonna before asking the real question.

”Why leave… Now?”

Madonna stood up, took out a cigarette and lighted it. She took a huge amount of nicotine in her body and puffed it out before she spoke.

”Because my goal is done. I will never have to come back to this country. And I can finally rest my mind. When I came to Pokhra around twenty months ago, I still had one installment left. Now, I have enough to complete my studies, and live my life as a remade person.”

I was tired of her ambiguous responses, but I didn't want to touch her anymore. Instead I dug my nails into my arms to numb the pain Madonna was dragging me through.

I hope I never see you again

I head her footsteps fading away. And then, silence. The club was empty. Not even the bartender was present. It was just me, sitting at the table with the red eyes and scratched arms. Bloodied nails painted the picture of my present. And shivering legs reflected the fear that future held for me.

I balled up my hand and landed the fist in my face. Three out of four fingers landed on my nose.

I put some more strength in my fist and punched myself in the face once more, this time in between the eyes. It gave me a pretty good headache, but still nothing to be proud of.

Thus, I sat there at the table, punching various crevices of my face.

Punch. Broken Nose. PUNCH. Bloody Eye. PUNCH. Falling teeth. PUNCH. Blurred Vision.

PUNCH. PUNCH. PUNCH. PUNCH. PUNCH. PUNCH. PUNCH. PUNCH. PUNCH. PUNCH.

My husband was bisexual, and he cheated on me. My girlfriend was a homosexual and she used me.

When I realized the irony of the fact that I was the damaged goods, I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed through the pain of cracked teeth in my mouth. I laughed through the pain of clogged blood in my arm. I laughed through the broken nose that made my breathing hard.

All I could do is laugh. Laugh. LAUGH. LAUGH! LAUGH!! LAUGH!!!

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH