32 A Brad State of Mind Pt. 2 (1/2)

She turned the engine off and the rattling car shut up. It was raining profusely when we came to a halt in front of my house. Madonna insisted that I should have listened to her before I fired her. but the impulsive anger came out of my heart like a reflex. I did not hesitate in the moment. But there was something luring in the back of my mind ever since I had announced Madonna's dismissal.

We hadn't had a talk ever since the afternoon. So it was a surprise when she offered me to home. But now since the car was at a halt, I observed her a little carefully. She had her hands on the driving wheel. They were trembling. Her teeth we also rattling from the cold. I resisted myself from doing anything and got out of the car. As I shut the door behind me Madonna fired her car back up and tried to drive away. The similar fear came back rushing in my brain and I pounced like a puma to stop her from driving away. My breath had fastened. My heart rate had suddenly spiked.

Madonna rolled down her window and stuck her head to ask me what was going on. I simply walked to her side, took out the keys and signaled her to get inside. When she thought she had not change of escape, she begrudgingly accepted.

We entered my room and immediately got changed. We used separate rooms. It was easy for Madonna since she had left some of her clothes over at my place. After having a fresh shower, we marched to the kitchen. I put on an apron to protect my orange tracksuit from oils. Madonna walked to the refrigerator and stood by it, eying me as I prepared some soup.

I asked,” Hey, how are you doing?” to break the ice. She started rubbing her hands together while her body language changed. She wasn't being the confident self she always portrayed to be. Instead, I thought I saw someone who was weak, terrified, confused and scared.

She didn't reply for a long time before nodding and giving me a light smile.

We were grown women. It should not be this difficult to talk out our issues. Instead, we behaved like two high school girls who found out they loved each other.

Loved?

Is that how I felt about Madonna?

The soup was cooked, and we went to the dining room for our dinner. The dining room was the biggest room in my house. It was a round surface which had finest pinewood flooring with a granite table sitting in the middle of the room. six chairs surrounded the table, and a glass window which was the wall's length. Every morning, I'd open my curtains in the dining room and glance at the landscape of Nepal's busy streets. But today, it was nothing but darkness outside.

It was in the middle of our meal when I heard a loud clank from the opposite side of the table. Madonna had slammed the silver spoon in the granite table and let it go. By the time I realized what had happened, the spoon was on the other side of the floor.

I looked at her bowed head and her shivering body. In an instant, I knew it was not cold that was bothering her. it was the loss of her job.

She looked up and there were tears in her eye. ”Blessing, this was not how it was supposed to be!”

I continued to sip my soup as I replied,” Madonna, nothing was supposed to happen. But for every action, there is a reaction. You have to understand why I fired you. You know i…”

”Fired me…?” Madonna cut me off. ”…You think I'm upset over you firing me? I don't give a damn if you fired me Blessing! What I meant was that this was not supposed to be the cause of our date. I thought we had something going on. I thought it was legit. I thought we will have a loving time with each other. But once again I have screwed the pooch,” Madonna was full blown crying the longer she spoke.

At first, I didn't believe that Madonna was sad over us and not her job. But there was no hint of malice in her voice. She genuinely felt sad for wrecking her relationship with us. I felt warmth in my body when I saw her crying for my sake. I wanted to drop my spoon and rush over to her side and clutch her in my arms. But there was still no indication if she'd let me in her past.

So, I continued to roll the ball Madonna had kicked. ”Madonna, please talk to me so that I can make sense of all of it. Why'd you choose to lie to me? To us? Why'd you use a fake name to hide yourself? Because of Priscilla?”

”Yes!” She admitted.

”Please, tell me everything so that I can understand you better. Tell me why you lied, why'd you put on a farce when you knew my history with Priscilla.”

Speaking through her sobs, she said,” Blessing, you already know. Why do you want me to reiterate the facts?”

”Because admittance is the first step into forgiveness. Repeating everything that happened between you will construct a bridge between us. And I'll promise not to judge you.”

Madonna stood up, walked up to the chair next to me, and sat down. She extended her hand to hold mine, but I retracted my hand into my own.

”I need to be strong, Madonna. Please, start.”