25 Chore (1/2)

We were still on the massage table when I concluded my story. The only difference was that the masseuses were not present. It was just me and Amaan laying on adjacent tables. Nobody was saying anything.

I guess, this is what is called a 'serene moment'.

For as little time I had known Amaan, I figured she would break the ice through a joke or even an unrelated joke. But she also fell silent for a long time. At last I couldn't bear the heavy atmosphere, so I looked up to her and she had her arm over her eyes.

Was she crying? And if she was, for whom?

”Amaan…”

”Girl, what have you got yourself into?” She interjected me with the comment.

”I-I'm sorry?”

”Tell me, Kiyomi, have you been sticking around Mad without a complaint because you achieved your solace through her? that she was your head start to a new reality? Or like men, you also find vulnerable women attractive because they give you a chance to boost ego?”

”I... don't understand. Why would you think that?”

”THERE IT IS! I am insulting your wife. Your partner. And you are concerned how you look to other people.”

I closed my eyes and thought about what Amaan was trying to say.

Was I really in love with Madonna, or did I use her to escape my reality?

Could saving another human being ever be selfless, or we as creatures always need something in return?

If that was the case, was I unhappy with what Mad had provided me with?

I mean, she had taken care of me. She loved me. She was trying to give birth to our baby for our sake…

WAIT! Does that mean Mad had been using ME for escaping her reality too!

”Are you trying to say that we are morally flawed?” I asked Amaan.

She removed her arm from her eyes and looked at me with disappointment in her eyes. ”NO! why would I enforce what already is known? Don't people always say 'To err is human'? it means that we are fundamentally flawed. What I asked you was if you realized you were also as selfish as everyone others?”

That last part hit me like a two-ton stone slabs in the face.

”What do you mean? Selfish? What had I done?”

”Nod when you agree with my statements, okay. Did you think life did you wrong, and you didn't deserve it? When Trigman offered you both to move to India, did you do it because it would suit Madonna, or it would also work out for you? Did you accompany Madonna on this quest or whatever to seek forgiveness, or analyze her past with yours?”

That last part hit me again.

Was all of this to me just a competition. Just a chance to peek into Mad's past and compare it to mine? Was I only in this for sympathy, or was I in for rage?”