Part 24 (1/2)
I said nothing in reply. I pictured the temple at Terayama where s.h.i.+geru and Takes.h.i.+ were buried, where I had been sheltered and nurtured, where Kaede and I had been married. It lay in the center of the Three Countries, the physical and spiritual heart of my land and my life. And from now on Makoto would be there, praying for the peace I longed for, always upholding my cause. He would be one person, like a tiny splash of dye in a huge vat, but I could see the color spreading over the years, the blue-green color that the word peace peace always summoned up for me. Under Makoto's influence the temple would become a place of peace, as its founder had intended it to be. always summoned up for me. Under Makoto's influence the temple would become a place of peace, as its founder had intended it to be.
”I am not leaving you,” he said gently. ”I will be with you in a different way.”
I had no words to express my grat.i.tude: He had understood my conflict completely and in this way was taking the first steps to resolve it. All I could do was thank him and let him go.
Kenji, supported tacitly by Chiyo, argued strongly against my decision to travel, saying I was asking for trouble by undertaking such a journey before I was fully recovered. I felt better every day and my hand had mostly healed, though it still pained me and I still felt my phantom fingers. I grieved for the loss of all my dexterity and tried to accustom my left hand to the sword and the brush, but at least I held a horse's reins in that hand and I thought I was well enough to ride. My main concern was that I was needed in the reconstruction of Hagi, but Miyos.h.i.+ Kahei and his father a.s.sured me they could manage without me. Kahei and the rest of my army had been delayed with Makoto by the earthquake but were unharmed by it. Their arrival had greatly increased our forces and hastened the town's recovery. I told Kahei to send messages as soon as possible to Shuho, to invite the master carpenter s.h.i.+ro and his family back to the clan.
In the end Kenji gave in and said, despite the considerable pain of his broken ribs, he would of course accompany me, since I'd shown myself unable to deal with Kotaro alone. I forgave him his sarcasm, glad to have him with me, and we tookTaku as well, not wanting to leave him behind while he was so low in spirits. He and Hiros.h.i.+ squabbled as usual, but Hiros.h.i.+ had grown more patient andTaku less arrogant and I could see a true friends.h.i.+p was developing between them. I also took as many men as we could spare from the town and left them in groups along the road to help rebuild the stricken villages and farms. The earthquake had cut a swath from north to south and we followed its line. It was close to midwinter; despite the loss and destruction, people were getting ready for the New Year's celebration; their lives were starting again.
The days were frosty but clear; the landscape bare and wintering. Snipe called from the marshes, and the colors were gray and muted.
We rode directly south and in the evenings the sun sank red in the West, the only color in a dulled world. The nights were intensely cold with huge stars, and every morning was white with frost.
I knew Makoto was keeping some secret from me, but could not tell if it was to be a happy one or not. Every day he seemed to s.h.i.+ne more with some inner antic.i.p.ation. My own spirits were still volatile. I was pleased to be riding Shun again, but the cold and the hards.h.i.+p of the journey, together with the pam and disability in my hand, were more draining than I had thought they would be, and at night the task in front of me seemed too immense for me ever to achieve, especially if I was to attempt it without Kaede.
On the seventh day we came to s.h.i.+rakawa. The sky had clouded over and the whole world seemed gray. Kaede's home was in ruins and deserted. The house had burned and there was nothing left of it but charred beams and ashes. It looked unutterably mournful; I imagined Fujiwara's residence would look the same. I had a serious premonition that she was dead and that Makoto was taking me to her grave. A shrike scolded us from the burned trunk of a tree by the gate, and in the rice fields two crested ibis were feeding, their pink plumage glowing in the forlorn landscape. However, as we rode away past the water meadows Hiros.h.i.+ called to me: ”Lord Otori! Look!”
Two brown mares were trotting toward us, whinnying to our horses. They both had foals at foot, three months old, I reckoned, their brown baby hair just beginning to give way to gray. They had manes and tails as black as lacquer.
”They are Raku's colts!” Hiros.h.i.+ said. ”Amano told me that the s.h.i.+rakawa mares were in foal to him.”
I could not stop looking at them. They seemed like an inexpressibly precious gift from heaven, from life itself, a promise of renewal and rebirth.
”One of them will be yours,” I said to Hiros.h.i.+. ”You deserve it for your loyalty to me.”
”Can the other one go to Taku?” Hiros.h.i.+ begged.
”Of course!”
The boys yelped with delight. I told the grooms to bring the mares with us and the foals gamboled after them, cheering me enormously as we followed Hiros.h.i.+'s lead, riding along the s.h.i.+rakawa to the sacred caves.
I had never been there before and was unprepared for the size of the cavern from which the river flowed. The mountain loomed above, already snowcapped, reflected in the still black water of the winter river. Here if anywhere I could see, drawn by the hand of nature, the truth that it was all one. Earth, water, and sky lay together in unbroken harmony. It was like the moment at Terayama when I had been given a glimpse into the heart of truth; now I saw heavens nature revealed by earth.
There was a small cottage at the river's edge just before the bird-perch gates of the shrine. An old man came out at the sound of the horses, smiled in recognition at Makoto and Hiros.h.i.+, and bowed to us.
”Welcome, sit down, I'll make you some tea. Then I'll call my wife.”
”Lord Otori has come to collect the chests we left here,” Hiros.h.i.+ said importantly, and grinned at Makoto.
”Yes, yes. I'll let them know. No man may go inside, but the women will come out to us.”
While he poured us tea, another man came out from the cottage and greeted us. He was middle-aged, kind, and intelligent-looking; I had no idea who he was, though I felt he knew me. He introduced himself to us as Is.h.i.+da and I gathered he was a doctor. While he talked to us about the history of the caves and the healing properties of the water, the old man went nimbly toward the entrance to the caves, jumping from boulder to boulder. A little way from it a bronze bell hung from a wooden post. He swung the clapper against it and its hollow note boomed over the water, echoing and reverberating from inside the mountain.
I watched the old man and drank the steaming tea. He seemed to be peering and listening. After a few moments he turned and called, ”Let Lord Otori only come thus far.”
I put down the bowl and stood up. The sun was just disappearing behind the western slope, and the shadow of the mountain fell on the water. As I followed the old man's steps and jumped from rock to rock, I thought I could feel something-someone-drawing toward me.
I stood next to the old man, next to the bell. He looked up at me and grinned, a smile of such openness and warmth it nearly brought tears to my eyes.
”Here comes my wife,” he said. ”She'll bring the chests.” He chuckled and went on: ”They've been waiting for you.”
I could see now into the gloom of the cavern. I could see the old shrine woman, dressed in white. I could hear her footsteps on the wet rock and the tread of the women following her. My blood was pounding in my ears.
As they stepped out into the light, the old woman bowed to the ground and placed the chest at my feet. s.h.i.+zuka was just behind her, carrying a second chest.