Part 21 (2/2)

”So Lady Fujiwara was alone with Yumi last night. I heard you whispering. What were you talking about?”

”We whispered only so as not to disturb you,” Kaede replied. ”We spoke of nothing; the autumn wind, the brilliance of the moon, perhaps. I asked her to comb my hair, accompany me to the privy.”

Rieko knelt beside her and tried to look into her face. Her heavy scent made Kaede cough.

”Don't bother me,” Kaede said, turning away. ”We are both unwell. Let us try to spend a peaceful day.”

”How ungrateful you are,” Rieko said in a voice as tiny as a mosquito's. ”And what a fool. Lord Fujiwara has done everything for you and you still dream of deceiving him.”

”You must be feverish,” Kaede said. ”You are imagining things. How could I deceive Lord Fujiwara in any way? I am completely his prisoner.”

”His wife wife,” Rieko corrected her. ”Even to use such a word as prisoner prisoner shows how you still rebel against your husband.” shows how you still rebel against your husband.”

Kaede said nothing, just gazed at the pine needles etched against the sky. She was afraid of what she might reveal to Rieko. Yumi's message had brought her hope, but the reverse side of hope was fear: for Yumi, for s.h.i.+zuka, for herself.

”You seem changed in some way,” Rieko muttered. ”You think I can't read you?”

”It's true I feel a little warm,” Kaede said. ”I believe the fever has returned.”

Are they at Hagi yet? she thought. Is he fighting now? May he he protected! May he live Is he fighting now? May he he protected! May he live!

”I am going to pray for a little while,” she told Rieko, and went to kneel before the shrine. k.u.miko brought coals and Kaede lit incense. The heavy smell drifted through the rooms, bringing an uneasy peace to the women within.

A few days later Yumi went to fetch the food for the midday meal and did not return. Another maid came in her place, an older woman. She and k.u.miko served the meal in silence. k.u.mikos eyes were red and she sniffed miserably. When Kaede tried to find out what was wrong, Rieko snapped, ”She has caught the cold, that's all.”

”Where is Yumi?” Kaede asked.

”You are interested in her? That proves my suspicions were right.”

”What suspicions?” Kaede said. ”What can you mean? I have no feelings about her one way or the other. I simply wondered where she was.”

”You won't be seeing her again,” Rieko said coldly. k.u.miko made a strangled sound as if she were m.u.f.fling a sob.

Kaede felt very cold, and yet her skin was burning. She felt as if the walls were closing in on her. By evening her head was aching fiercely; she asked Rieko if she would send for Is.h.i.+da.

When he came she was appalled at his appearance. A few days earlier he had been merry; now his face was gaunt and drawn, his eyes like shriveled coals, his skin gray. His manner was as calm as ever and he spoke to her with great kindness, but it was obvious something terrible had happened.

And Rieko knew about it; Kaede was sure of that from her pursed lips and sharp eyes. Not to be able to question the doctor was torture; not to know what was happening in the household around her or in the world outside would surely drive her mad. Is.h.i.+da gave her tea brewed from willow bark and bade her good night with unusual intensity. She was sure she would never see him again. Despite the sedative, she spent a restless night.

In the morning she questioned Rieko again about Yumi's disappearance and Is.h.i.+da's distress. When she received no other answer than veiled accusations, she decided she would appeal to Fujiwara himself. It was nearly a week since she had seen him; he had stayed away during their sickness. She could not endure the inexplicably threatening atmosphere any longer.

”Will you tell Lord Fujiwara I would like to see him?” she asked Rieko when she had finished dressing.

The woman went herself and returned to say, ”His Lords.h.i.+p is delighted that his wife desires his company. He has arranged a special entertainment for this evening. He will see you then.”

”I would like to speak to him alone,” Kaede said.

Rieko shrugged. ”There are no special guests at present. Only Mamoru will be with him. You had better bathe, and I suppose we must wash your hair so it can be dried in the sun.”

When her hair was at last dry, Rieko insisted on oiling it heavily before she dressed it. Kaede put on the quilted winter robes, grateful for their warmth, for her wet hair had made her very cold, and though the day was sunny, the air was chill. She ate a little soup at midday, but her stomach and throat seemed to have closed against food.

”You are very white,” Rieko said. ”Lord Fujiwara admires that in a woman.” The undertone in her words made Kaede tremble. Something terrible was about to happen-was already happening; everyone knew about it but her, and they would reveal it to her when it pleased them. Her pulse quickened and she felt its rapid thump in her neck, in her belly. From outside came a dull hammering sound that seemed to echo her own heart.

She went to kneel at the shrine, but even that failed to calm her. At the end of the afternoon Mamoru came and led her to the pavilion where she had watched the first snow fall with Fujiwara at the beginning of the year. Although it was not yet dark, lanterns were already lit in the bare-branched trees, and braziers burned on the veranda. She glanced at the young man, trying to learn something from his demeanor. He was as white as she was, and she thought she detected pity in his eyes. Her alarm deepened.

It had been so long since she had seen any landscape that the scene before her, the gardens and the mountains beyond, seemed unutterably beautiful. The last rays of the sun turned the snowcapped peaks to pink and gold, and the sky was a translucent color between blue and silver. She gazed at it, drinking it in as if it were the last sight she would see on earth.

Mamoru wrapped a bearskin around her and murmured, ”Lord Fujiwara will be with you soon.”

Directly in front of the veranda was an area of tiny white stones raked into a swirling pattern. Two posts had been newly erected in the center. Kaede frowned at them; they broke the pattern of the stones in a harsh, almost threatening way.

She heard the padding of feet, the rustling of robes.

”His Lords.h.i.+p is approaching,” Rieko said behind her, and they both bowed to the ground.

Fujiwara's particular fragrance wafted over Kaede as he sat next to her. He did not speak for a long time, and when he finally told her she might sit up, she thought she heard anger in his voice. Her heart quailed. She tried to call on her courage, but she had none. She was deathly afraid.

”I am glad to see you recovered,” he said with icy politeness.

Her mouth was so dry she could hardly speak. ”It is thanks to Your Lords.h.i.+p's care,” she whispered.

”Rieko said you wished to speak to me.”

”I always desire Your Lords.h.i.+ps company,” she began, but faltered when his mouth twisted mockingly.

Let me not be afraid, she prayed. If he sees I am afraid, he will know he has broken me... He is after all only a man; he did not want me to have even a needle. He knows what I can do. He knows I killed lida If he sees I am afraid, he will know he has broken me... He is after all only a man; he did not want me to have even a needle. He knows what I can do. He knows I killed lida. She drew a deep breath.

”I feel there are things going on that I do not understand. Have I offended Your Lords.h.i.+p? Please tell me what I have done wrong.”

”There are things going on that I do not understand,” he replied. ”Almost a conspiracy, I would say. And in my own household. I cannot believe my wife would stoop to such infamy, but Rieko told me of her suspicions and the maid confirmed them before she died.”

”What suspicions?” Kaede asked, showing no emotion.

”That someone brought a message to you from Otori.”

”Rieko is lying,” Kaede said, but her voice did not obey her.

”I don't think so. Your former companion Muto s.h.i.+zuka was seen in this district. I was surprised. If she wanted to see you, she should have approached me. Then I remembered that Arai had used her as a spy. The maid confirmed that Otori sent her. That was shocking enough, but imagine my astonishment when she was discovered in Is.h.i.+da's rooms. I was devastated: Is.h.i.+da, my most trusted servant, almost my friend! How dangerous not to be able to trust one's physician. It would be so easy for him to poison me.”

”He is completely trustworthy,” Kaede said. ”He is devoted to you. Even if it were true that s.h.i.+zuka brought a message to me from Lord Otori, it has nothing to do with Dr. Is.h.i.+da.”

He looked at her as though she had not grasped what he was saying. ”They were sleeping together,” he said. ”My physician has been having an affair with a woman known to be a spy.”

Kaede did not reply. She had not known of their relations.h.i.+p; she had been too wrapped up in her own pa.s.sion to notice it. Now it seemed quite obvious. She recalled all the signs: how often s.h.i.+zuka had gone to Is.h.i.+da's rooms to collect medicine or tea. And nowTakeo had sent s.h.i.+zuka with the message for her. s.h.i.+zuka and Is.h.i.+da had risked seeing each other and they were to be punished for it.

The sun had set behind the mountains, but it was not yet dark. Twilight lay over the garden, barely dispelled by the light of the lanterns. A crow flew overhead to its roost, cawing bitterly.

<script>