Part 14 (1/2)
[LYDIA approaches the door--her pace slackens--she pauses with her hand upon the lock--turns, and looks earnestly on WALLER.]
_Lydia_. I have a word To say to thee; if by thy mother's honour, Thou swear'st to me thou wilt not quit thy seat.
_Wal_. I swear as thou propound'st to me.
_Lydia_. [After a pause, bursting into tears.] Oh, why-- Why have you used me thus? See what you've done!
Essayed to light a guilty pa.s.sion up, And kindled in its stead a holy one!
For I do love thee! Know'st thou not the wish To find desert doth bring it oft to sight Where yet it is not? so, for substance, pa.s.ses What only is a phantasm of our minds!
I feared thy love was guilty--yet my wish To find it honest, stronger than my fear, My fear with fatal triumph overthrew!
Now hope and fear give up to certainty, And I must fly thee--yet must love thee still!
_Wal_. Lydia! by all--
_Lydia_. I pray you hear me out!
Was 't right? was 't generous? was 't pitiful?
One way or other I might be undone: To love with sin--or love without a hope!
_Wal_. Yet hear me, Lydia!--
_Lydia_. Stop! I'm undone!
A maid without a heart--robbed of the soil, Wherein life's hopes and wishes root and spring, And thou the foe that did me so much hate, And vowed me so much love!--but I forgive thee!
Yea, I do bless thee!
[Rus.h.i.+ng up and sinking at his feet.]
Recollect thy oath!-- Or in thy heart lodged never germ of honour, But 'tis a desert all!
[She kisses his hand--presses it to her heart, and kisses it again.]
Farewell then to thee!
[Rises.]
Mayst thou be happy. [Going.]
_Wal_. Wouldst ensure the thing Thou wishest?
[She moves towards the door with a gesture that prohibits further converse.]
Stop! [She continues to move on.]
Oh, sternly resolute! [She still moves.]
I mean thee honour!
[She stops and turns towards him.]
Thou dost meditate-- I know it--flight. Give me some pause for thought, But to confirm a mind almost made up.
If in an hour thou hearest not from me, then Think me a friend far better lost than won!
Wilt thou do this?