Part 58 (2/2)
Jane nodded.
”The thing that you want most of all is the thing that I want more than anything else: That is the respect of men.”
She paused and Bobby's brows drew together in perplexity.
”The first time I saw you, you were trying to win the respect of the men in this country with your quirt. Perhaps that helped you. Perhaps it would have helped me had I been able or inclined to take it that way.
”That doesn't matter. The thing that matters, which gives us something in common is this: You found that men did not respect you and so did I.
Men showed their disrespect for you by ... well, by saying unpardonable things. Men have shown their disrespect for me by trying to drive me out of the country, by burning and stealing and shooting at my men....
”You and I are the only women here. These men,”--with a gesture--”can not understand what their respect means to us. It is the only thing worth while in our lives. Isn't that so? No woman can be happy or satisfied unless she has the respect of men. That is because our mothers for generations back have been mothers because men respected them....
”I don't believe from what I know of you that you have ever had much respect from men. I can appreciate what that means to you, because it appears that the man who should have respected me the most in the country where I came from, did not respect me.
”There was one man I used to know who was supposed to give me all the respect that a man could give a woman: he said that he loved me. That man,”--there was a quick movement in the group which she ignored--”followed me west to tell me that he loved me again and when he found that I could not love him, he showed that he did anything but respect me. Do you understand how that could hurt? When a man who had sworn for years that he loved me proved that ... it was something quite different?”
She paused and Bobby, wide-eyed, said:
”He follered you out here to ... try to get you to marry him?”
Jane nodded.
The other girl turned and her eyes sought out Hilton's face, which was contorted with raging humiliation.
”Is that _so?_” she asked.
”That's a lie!” he snarled, but looked away.
”Is that _so?_”
Her tone was lowered, but she hissed the question at him. She strained forward, glaring at him, and averting his face he said again:
”It's a lie.”
But the a.s.sertion was without conviction, without strength.
Bobby turned back. Her lips were tight and trembling.
”Well?” she said, tears in her eyes again, and her manner proved that Hilton's denial had fallen far short of being convincing.
”Then there were other factors: As soon as I arrived here things commenced to go wrong. Because I was a woman, people thought they could usurp my rights. My horses were stolen; my hay was burned; my ditches broken. My men were shot at. A note was sent to me, telling me that I'd better leave the country while I had something left.
”You see, don't you, that that meant that men--it must have been men who did it--had no respect for me?
”This water down here was fenced. That was your right, but I thought I could persuade you to help me a little. I think yet that I could have done so but for your misunderstanding....
”I knew that you wanted the respect of men. I knew that about all you had in life was your self respect. I knew that the same man who had made love to me and who had not meant it, was making love to you and not meaning it. I called him to see me and tried to talk him out of it, begged him to go away from you before ... before you had stopped respecting yourself. You must have mistaken my motive in--”
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