Part 4 (2/2)

THE BED SMELLED LIKE HER. It was nice and cool after a hot day and it smelled like her and it smelled like the wind and it made me think about how she used to hang the sheets out before she went on ahead. It made me remember. I told Creed and he said if I wanted to lay down someplace that smelled that way every night then it was up to me to do the wash. This time though he did it and he took all the credit for it. I thought it was just as much Vernon's doing but I didn't say. Not the was.h.i.+ng I mean but the need for the was.h.i.+ng. Creed wasn't happy while he was at it and Vernon said he'd do it himself when he got done feeding the pigs if he was going to be so finicky about his bed linens but Creed didn't let him. He told him it couldn't wait. He told him it had to be done right then and he did it himself and then he stayed mad at Vernon.

Tom.

SOMEHOW THE GIRLS at the end of the bar got wind of things and shook off the two men who'd been buying them beer all night. They worked their way down to the end of the bar where Tom and Reed were sitting. The one still looked kind of dazed and the other one still looked kind of like she wanted to bite somebody, but the beer was starting to push them both toward a kind of woozy middle ground. They were beginning to look like anybody else. Tom asked could they buy them a couple of drinks and Reed laughed and said maybe they ought to card them first just to be on the safe side. You had to be nineteen. Ha ha ha. The way he said it gave Tom the creeps. Like Reed was some kind of dirty old man, which would make him a dirty old man too. The college kids were still working the bowling machines and the ferocious girl kept looking over at them. It made Tom kind of angry and a little bit sad at the same time. He blamed it on the beer. Dope didn't play that kind of games with your head. at the end of the bar got wind of things and shook off the two men who'd been buying them beer all night. They worked their way down to the end of the bar where Tom and Reed were sitting. The one still looked kind of dazed and the other one still looked kind of like she wanted to bite somebody, but the beer was starting to push them both toward a kind of woozy middle ground. They were beginning to look like anybody else. Tom asked could they buy them a couple of drinks and Reed laughed and said maybe they ought to card them first just to be on the safe side. You had to be nineteen. Ha ha ha. The way he said it gave Tom the creeps. Like Reed was some kind of dirty old man, which would make him a dirty old man too. The college kids were still working the bowling machines and the ferocious girl kept looking over at them. It made Tom kind of angry and a little bit sad at the same time. He blamed it on the beer. Dope didn't play that kind of games with your head.

The dazed girl had taken one of his cigarettes and was lighting it off a little votive candle that she'd taken from a table in the other room. She put her face up near his, and over the music from the jukebox she asked him what kind of games he was talking about in particular.

He looked at her like she'd just read his mind.

She blew smoke out the side of her mouth and asked again. This dazed-looking girl who had read his mind and couldn't have been more than seventeen if she was a day. When he didn't answer right off she pulled on the cigarette again and let the smoke leak back out while she said that even though he maybe hadn't meant to say it out loud she'd heard him anyway. She had ears like an elephant. Her father always said so.

He said he hadn't meant anything by it. Then he said her ears didn't look all that bad, they sure as h.e.l.l didn't look like the ears on any elephant he'd ever seen, and he pushed her hair back behind one of them with his finger. The dazed-looking girl smiled at him and asked if he was sure he hadn't meant anything when he'd said what he'd said about dope. Seeing as how she sure could use a little.

Tom checked and saw that his buddy Reed was doing less well with the ferocious-looking girl, which he decided was just too d.a.m.ned bad. It was about time Karl Reed got used to living in the real world.

1945.

Preston.

WHEN THE U.S. A U.S. ARMY called me up, Margaret and I hadn't even found a place of our own. We were still staying with my folks. We were still looking around and saving up, so for lack of anyplace better she just kept right on where we'd been, up in that attic room, with me going off on the troop train and then stationed down in Texas for a while and then sent to France after that. I've got no time for a Frenchman to this day. Here we were, the U.S. Army, liberating their country and saving them from Hitler, and we had to pretty much sleep on the ground. Not just when we were in between towns, but all over. I remember this one farmer wouldn't even let us sleep in his hay barn. Imagine that. The U.S. Army, come to save their sorry called me up, Margaret and I hadn't even found a place of our own. We were still staying with my folks. We were still looking around and saving up, so for lack of anyplace better she just kept right on where we'd been, up in that attic room, with me going off on the troop train and then stationed down in Texas for a while and then sent to France after that. I've got no time for a Frenchman to this day. Here we were, the U.S. Army, liberating their country and saving them from Hitler, and we had to pretty much sleep on the ground. Not just when we were in between towns, but all over. I remember this one farmer wouldn't even let us sleep in his hay barn. Imagine that. The U.S. Army, come to save their sorry derrieres derrieres.

I learned resentment in France.

And I guess I grew up while I was over there, even though I was already an old married man when I left home. What you are and what you think you are can be two different things. When I came back I was a changed man and things were changed here at home. They kept right on changing. That's how it was everywhere after the war.

With Lester gone, Vernon had pretty well taken over the farm. Ruth was still with us, but other than what you'd strictly call the women's work, which was up to her, the boys ran the place and they'd let it go pretty far downhill. Which was saying something. Not that I don't understand. Minus Lester, there was a lot more work for everybody. The acreage and the livestock and all the rest hadn't changed, just the hands available to work it. A whole lot can go wrong in two years.

Anyhow I grew up while I was in France and the older of those boys grew up while I was away. By grew up grew up you know what I mean. Not that I got near any of those French girls myself. But a boy goes through certain things no matter what. In France or on a farm. A French girl can't teach you anything you can't learn about in a cow barn. Audie was slow in a lot of things but I don't guess he was slow in that. The way I hear it, he was the reason they put up the door. The door between their mother's room. He wouldn't stay out of there on his own and she couldn't keep him out and to tell you the truth n.o.body knew what he might try sometime. He's never been a very big individual but he was getting his growth. Not that I hold anything against him. It's the way he was built. But they put up that door on account of him and once it was up Ruth about froze to death all winter. It didn't even keep her middle boy out unless she put a chair against it from the inside, but it sure kept out the heat. you know what I mean. Not that I got near any of those French girls myself. But a boy goes through certain things no matter what. In France or on a farm. A French girl can't teach you anything you can't learn about in a cow barn. Audie was slow in a lot of things but I don't guess he was slow in that. The way I hear it, he was the reason they put up the door. The door between their mother's room. He wouldn't stay out of there on his own and she couldn't keep him out and to tell you the truth n.o.body knew what he might try sometime. He's never been a very big individual but he was getting his growth. Not that I hold anything against him. It's the way he was built. But they put up that door on account of him and once it was up Ruth about froze to death all winter. It didn't even keep her middle boy out unless she put a chair against it from the inside, but it sure kept out the heat.

I came back from France in October and she was already complaining that with winter on its way she didn't know what she'd do. She thought she'd freeze to death. I told Vernon that his father'd always promised to knock a hole in the wall that'd let in the heat from the stove, and Vernon said a hole didn't seem too much for his own mother to ask for. He guessed he could handle it, but I said there was more to it than he might think. I'd help. I was already back working at the lumberyard then. I told my father what Ruth needed and he told me help myself. I got a matched pair of register grates, one for the kitchen wall and one for the bedroom. Not big. Maybe eighteen inches on a side. Those and some screws and some sandpaper and a little patching compound and a can of paint. My father owned plenty of tools so I borrowed everything else we'd need. You couldn't count on those boys to have anything. If I hadn't been there they'd probably done it with a sledgehammer.

Ruth.

THE ARMY HAS MADE Preston thinner than he was before-thinner than he will ever be again-and between that and his newfound discipline and his sharply pressed khakis he brings an austere and military air to the project. Just the way he holds himself inspires confidence in the Proctor boys. They respond to him as if he were their commanding officer. Ruth takes Donna out on the porch and calls to Creed but he won't come. He is all eyes. Twelve years old and all eyes. As if in the marking of the square and the sawing of the hole and the prying loose of the lath and plaster he is present at the revelation of some mystery unseen by ordinary men. Something very nearly const.i.tuting religion. Preston thinner than he was before-thinner than he will ever be again-and between that and his newfound discipline and his sharply pressed khakis he brings an austere and military air to the project. Just the way he holds himself inspires confidence in the Proctor boys. They respond to him as if he were their commanding officer. Ruth takes Donna out on the porch and calls to Creed but he won't come. He is all eyes. Twelve years old and all eyes. As if in the marking of the square and the sawing of the hole and the prying loose of the lath and plaster he is present at the revelation of some mystery unseen by ordinary men. Something very nearly const.i.tuting religion.

They have moved everything from the front room onto the porch. The table, the chairs, the chest of drawers. The rag rug and the washtub and the icebox. Preston tells Audie to hang a bedsheet over the cabinets to keep sawdust and plaster dust and G.o.d knows what other kinds of filth from getting into things once they start cutting. He marks the wall with a carpenter's pencil and a square. He drills into the corner for a place to start the saw. He works carefully and surely. When the piece is out he drills through the four corners of the hole into the opposite side and goes around into the bedroom and marks those corners with the square and the pencil, and the brothers watch the procedure as if he is performing magic or summoning spirits.

He cuts the second hole and marks where the screws will go. He has brought his father's electric drill from home and he shows Vernon how to use it to make the pilot holes. When Vernon pulls the trigger it jumps in his hands like something rabid, which draws laughter from everyone but Vernon himself. The first time he touches the bit to the wall it skitters off across the plaster but Preston tells him that's all right, he's brought some compound to fill the sc.r.a.pe with and some paint that nearly matches. Later on Audie gives the drill a try and he does no better. They hand it over to Creed for the last couple of holes, and having watched the missteps of his older brothers he takes to it instantly. It must weigh half of what he does, but he shrugs and says there's nothing to it. Then he puts it down on the floor and goes off to fetch the screws from where Preston left them on the table, just as cool as you please.

1990.

Audie.

THE TROOPER CAME and took my brother in the car. It was pretty early in the day but we were finished milking and we had a minute just to sit. The cows were back up in the pasture and the truck from the co-op would be along soon, so I had a minute. You don't get a lot of time to yourself. I had a field to plow but I didn't want to get out there and have to come back when the truck came. I would have gone if Vernon was there to stay behind but he wasn't. So I just sat on the porch waiting for the truck. I was carving some. Then here came that trooper up the road with that big blue car of his throwing up dust. He got out and he was full of questions and he took my brother off. and took my brother in the car. It was pretty early in the day but we were finished milking and we had a minute just to sit. The cows were back up in the pasture and the truck from the co-op would be along soon, so I had a minute. You don't get a lot of time to yourself. I had a field to plow but I didn't want to get out there and have to come back when the truck came. I would have gone if Vernon was there to stay behind but he wasn't. So I just sat on the porch waiting for the truck. I was carving some. Then here came that trooper up the road with that big blue car of his throwing up dust. He got out and he was full of questions and he took my brother off.

Preston.

VERNON WASN'T EVEN IN the ground when they started after Creed. I don't believe that's right. I don't believe that's any way to do things. A man should have an opportunity to put his own brother in the ground before the authorities start giving him the third degree about it. the ground when they started after Creed. I don't believe that's right. I don't believe that's any way to do things. A man should have an opportunity to put his own brother in the ground before the authorities start giving him the third degree about it.

How can anybody hope to get a straight answer from a man whose brother isn't even in the ground? A man who isn't even given time to grieve his own brother has been punished enough.

When I picture it I see Creed sitting at a table in a dark room with a hundred-watt bulb hung right over his head, and even though I guess that's not the way they do it outside the movies it's still what I see when I think about it. Poor Creed. I'll bet that's how it seemed in his mind too. Like he was getting the third degree in some cop show.

Tell you the truth, the first thing I thought when I saw them go was it might have been Creed's idea. The way he was just walking along there behind Graham like a puppy. Docile, I'd call it. Like the two of them were going on a fis.h.i.+ng trip. That's how it looked. Like Andy and Opie. Every morning since I quit work I go downtown and have breakfast, a bunch of us drink coffee and shoot the breeze and what have you, and I was just coming out of the garage to go when I saw them out there like that. One behind the other, going toward the car.

I said a puppy, but a lamb to the slaughter is what I should have said.

I pulled up alongside the car and I got out. I said my good-mornings to Creed and Graham both, but they were pretty quiet right back. Audie was up on the porch. His head was faced our way and his hands were shaking. He had his knife in one hand and a piece of wood in the other and I wished that he'd calm down. I was hoping the wind would come up and start those whirligigs turning. That'd been the best thing for him. I don't believe he could see Creed going from up there but he knew he was going. His eyes looked black and kind of shaded over and his lip jumped a little under his beard. It wasn't like he was going to cry but more like he was going to come apart. I guess Creed wasn't the only fuse they lit that day.

Del.

WHEN I I DROVE OUT DROVE OUT to talk with the Proctor brothers I didn't have any fixed idea about bringing either one of them back to the barracks with me. It just turned out that way. We sat on the porch and I asked both of them some questions, but not many. What they'd seen, what they remembered. What time they'd gone to bed that night and what time they'd woken up. What they'd watched on television the night before. They couldn't agree if it was to talk with the Proctor brothers I didn't have any fixed idea about bringing either one of them back to the barracks with me. It just turned out that way. We sat on the porch and I asked both of them some questions, but not many. What they'd seen, what they remembered. What time they'd gone to bed that night and what time they'd woken up. What they'd watched on television the night before. They couldn't agree if it was The Simpsons The Simpsons or or Roseanne Roseanne. I don't know which of them was right about that since I don't watch a lot of television myself, but I can check the papers. That's easy enough. Maybe they watched both. It doesn't mean anything anyhow. They were just a few questions I was asking.

After a while I asked Creed if he would mind coming back to the barracks with me, and he said that he wouldn't mind provided we didn't take too long. He had ch.o.r.es to do, and I could see that he was concerned about seeing to them, but he didn't hesitate to come. I think it was kind of an adventure in his mind. I let him ride up front. I didn't think there was any harm in granting him that little bit of dignity, although you could make a case that it gave him the wrong impression as to his circ.u.mstance. I did try to be clear about all that, though. A little ways out of town I got his attention and we went through his rights. First I went over the letter of the law and then I explained everything again just as clearly as I possibly could in very simple language. Creed Proctor doesn't possess a great intellect. He's a person who's very easily confused. I did everything I could for him in that department.

He didn't want an attorney. He made that clear. I asked him if he was certain and I went so far as to determine that he knew exactly what an attorney could do on his behalf. The importance of it. He a.s.sured me that he knew all about that from watching the cop shows on television. The cop shows and the lawyer shows. He knew what a district attorney was and what a defense attorney was, and he knew how they'd take opposite sides. I was persuaded that he knew what he was giving up, or else I wouldn't have let it go.

He didn't want a defense attorney. He said it just like that. He said he had no use for a defense attorney. I made sure he knew that he wouldn't have to pay for it if he couldn't, but he was adamant.

Creed.

DEL G GRAHAM ASKED if I wanted us to stop at McDonald's before we went to the station but I said no. I had my breakfast already. He said how about just a little coffee and I said no I didn't care for none. I said I seen from the television how they always have a pot of coffee at the police station so I guessed we could do without McDonald's. if I wanted us to stop at McDonald's before we went to the station but I said no. I had my breakfast already. He said how about just a little coffee and I said no I didn't care for none. I said I seen from the television how they always have a pot of coffee at the police station so I guessed we could do without McDonald's.

I told him I had to be home by lunch for ch.o.r.es. Audie was all by his lonesome. He said he didn't know when we'd be finished. He couldn't make any promises. He said we'd get some hamburgers at lunchtime if we wasn't finished and we needed some. He was crazy about McDonald's I guess.

Del.

FIRST WE TALKED about the farm. We talked about his parents and his brothers, and how they'd had it growing up. Those men lead an isolated life. They see the regular world on television and then in the morning they get up and go back out into a different world all their own. It must seem like a dream. about the farm. We talked about his parents and his brothers, and how they'd had it growing up. Those men lead an isolated life. They see the regular world on television and then in the morning they get up and go back out into a different world all their own. It must seem like a dream.

The sister intrigues me, though. Donna. How did she cut herself loose?

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