Part 21 (1/2)
He stood, caught up with her and pulled her into his arms. ”I do not need an attorney. I have nothing to hide. Whoever planted that ring and the phone is barking up the wrong tree. No one is going to believe I killed anyone.”
He had a point there but this was so unfair.
”This is my fault.” She looked up at him, anguish tearing at her heart. ”This has to be Spears. He's trying to destroy you because of me.”
”He's going to fail, Jess.”
She tried to pull away to prevent him seeing her tears. She hated crying.
He held her tighter. ”This isn't your fault. You are not responsible for what he's doing. He's a psychopath.”
”Sociopath,” she corrected. ”He has a lot of traits of a psychopath but, deep down, he's a sociopath.”
”Whatever he is, he wants you to feel guilty.”
As true as his words were, they didn't lessen the responsibility she felt. And dead was dead. Her ability to recognize where guilt belonged was not going to bring all those victims back to life. Even worse, it wasn't going to prevent Spears from killing again and again until someone stopped him.
Since no one could find him, that made him unstoppable.
”Well, he succeeded,” she confessed. The guilt she felt wasn't going away.
”Your turn,” Dan prompted, obviously ready to change the subject.
Uncertainty and plain old fear tightened her throat. She needed to tell him. She should have told him already. Now here she was with just the right moment and she was terrified. Up until now, she could be Deputy Chief Jess Harris and everyone saw her that way. Nothing had changed from the outside. Once she said the words out loud... once everyone knew, her life would be different. Everything would change.
That scared the h.e.l.l out of her.
”Jess,” he smiled down at her, ”surely you know by now you can tell me anything.”
She didn't know how he could smile at a time like this. He could lose his job. He could be falsely accused of murder. Still, he smiled for her.
”You said you want children.” She hoped he couldn't feel her body trembling.
”I've done some thinking about that.” He cupped her cheek with his right hand. ”I understand if you don't. I will not allow anything to come between us again, Jess. You make me happy. We don't have to have children to be happy.”
”Yes, we do.”
A line formed across his forehead. ”We do? You changed your mind? You want to have children? When did this happen?”
Jess moistened her lips and told her heart to stop its frantic pounding. ”I don't know, maybe a month ago.”
”Why didn't you tell me?” He held up his hands surrender style. ”Not that I'm pus.h.i.+ng the issue. Whenever you're ready. I'm just glad you want to... consider it. If, that's what you're saying. I know how a child-being pregnant-would affect your work. I really do understand you may not want that.”
He was rambling. She took his hands in hers. ”Dan, I'm trying to tell you that we're pregnant.”
He stopped. Moving. Breathing. He stared at her as if he was struggling to grasp what she meant. ”You're... are you positive?”
”Four pregnancy tests, Dan. They all showed the same results. Positive.”
”We're pregnant?”
”Yes.”
His expression remained guarded. ”And you're not upset?”
She shook her head, and then shrugged. ”I'm getting used to the idea.”
”Oh my G.o.d. We're... having... a baby?”
”Yes.” She nodded this time just in case he wasn't getting it. She pressed his hand to her belly. ”We are pregnant. We are having a baby in about seven and a half months or so.”
He took a breath, then started to speak but stopped. Confusion and surprise played across his handsome face. ”Are you okay? I mean... are you really okay?”
”I'm okay.”
”Have you seen a doctor?” All that emotion was suddenly s.h.i.+ning in his eyes.
”I have to get that scheduled. Soon,” she promised.
”And you want to do this?”
She nodded. ”I do. Yes.”
He swept her into his arms. ”I don't know the right words to say.” He kissed her hard on the lips. ”I love you, Jess.”
”I love you, Dan.”
She melted against him then, too overwhelmed and too exhausted to talk anymore. He carried her to his bed. He kissed her temple. Whispered plans about the future as he undressed her and then himself. The happiness and excitement in his voice was all the confirmation she needed to know this was right.
No matter what else happened, they-the baby-was right.
His lips moved down her throat, leaving kiss after kiss against her skin. Tiny s.h.i.+vers spilled over her body and need throbbed between her thighs. He reached her hip and paused. His caressed her belly first with his hand, then with his lips. He whispered to their baby and her eyes filled with tears.
He settled between her legs and rubbed her intimately with his hardened length. ”Thank you.”
She couldn't speak. The tears wouldn't be restrained. She hugged her arms and legs around him and savored the sensation of being filled by him. He made love to her so tenderly her very soul cried out with the sweetness of it.
Later, when he had fallen asleep once more, she slipped from the bed and made her way through the darkness until she was in the study with her makes.h.i.+ft case board.
She paced the floor and argued with herself about what she should do. There had to be a way to stop what was happening to Dan. This was so wrong. There was only one person she could turn to for help. Corlew was probably in bed by now. But this couldn't wait.
She exhaled a weary sigh. ”Last chance, Jess.” Can you really trust him?
Did she have a choice?
She made the call. Corlew answered on the second ring.