Part 19 (1/2)
your freedom more than anything. When we first arrived in London, you made it clear that you would do
what you wanted and expected no complaints from me.”
Jack rammed his hands into his pockets to keep Fiona from seeing how upset he was. She was right; he had said that, as idiotic as it sounded now.
”Fiona, I just-”
”There is nothing more to discuss, Jack. You may do as you please, and I will never again complain.”
That was good-wasn't it? She would allow him his freedom, his life; that was what he'd wanted all along. He frowned. ”But what about you?”
”Naturally, I will go wherever I wish, too. I'm finding this idea of a modern marriage surprisingly appealing.” She placed her hand on the door handle. ”Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go, or I will be late.”
For a long time after the door closed behind her, Jack stood where he was, conflicting emotions crowding his mind. Apparently, he'd just won an argument, yet he didn't feel as if he'd won.
He raked a hand through his hair and stared out the window with unseeing eyes. Fiona constantly confused and confounded him. Just when he thought he knew her, she surprised him. Like her battle with Lucinda-who was no meek miss. Underneath Lucinda's air of sophisticated helplessness, she was brittle and hard. At first, he'd found her callousness amusing, but that had paled.
Fiona had changed everything, no matter how much he'd tried to stop it. She'd given him his freedom, but he wasn't sure if he'd lost something in the exchange. All he knew was that once she began to expect more of him, he'd come to realize that maybe his perfect life wasn't so perfect after all. There were things he should have done, should be doing, that he'd not bothered with. In a lot of ways, before he'd married Fiona, he'd let life drift by. That was no longer enough.
”My lord?”
Jack turned to find Devonsgate standing in the doorway, a bottle of brandy in one hand. ”I came to refill the brandy decanter. Will I disturb you?”
”No, no. Go ahead.”
The butler bowed and moved to the small table by the window.
Jack watched as Devonsgate refilled the decanter, then carefully wiped off the gla.s.ses and tray.
”Devonsgate, do you think I'm a good master?” The butler's face was almost comical as his brows rose to echo the roundness of his head. ”My lord?” ”You heard me. Do you think I'm a good master? And do not mouth plat.i.tudes; I want the truth.” Devonsgate opened his mouth. Then closed it. Then he went to the door and closed it firmly. ”My lord, that is a difficult question. You are a good master...and you aren't.” ”What do you mean by that?” The butler eyed him cautiously. ”Well, you are certainly generous with your wages. I've never heard you complain about paying someone more than they are worth.”
That was because Jack had no idea how much his servants were paid.
”Furthermore,” Devonsgate said, looking thoughtful, ”you rarely interfere in the completion of household
tasks.” The butler caught Jack's grim gaze and hurried to add, ”I a.s.sure you that servants appreciate that
quality in a master.” ”I do not interfere with my staff because I do not notice what they do. That is hardly a good quality. Devonsgate, how many footmen do we have?”
”Twelve.”
”That many?”
”Yes, my lord.”
”I had no idea. They all wear livery and look so much alike that I-” He shook his head. ”As for wages,
I don't complain because I have no idea what they are. Who takes care of that, anyway?” ”Mr. Troutman used to, my lord.” ”My man of business? He used to be here twice a week, pestering me about this and that. I haven't seen him of late.”
”That is because you banished him, my lord.”
Jack frowned. ”When did I do that?”
”Two months ago, my lord. You said you were tired of him always wanting you to sign things. You had one of the footmen throw the man out.”
Jack raked a hand through his hair again. Fiona was right to let him go his own way; she would never stay with such an irresponsible man.
He crossed to the window and looked out, his mind whirling. He'd never had to worry about his fortune since the majority of it was tied up in investments; all he had to do was spend the profits. Until now, he'd been perfectly happy with his deliberate lack of knowledge. ”Devonsgate, I am beginning to see myself in a new way, and it is not pretty.”
”You are being far too harsh on yourself. Most household details would fall to the lady of the house. There hasn't been one until now.”
Jack straightened thoughtfully. ”That's true. I daresay I run my house in a manner quite acceptable for a bachelor.”
Devonsgate did not respond.
Jack turned to look at him.
The butler offered an apologetic smile. ”Ah, yes. Quite.”
Jack's gaze narrowed. ”You worked for the earl of Berks.h.i.+re before he married. Did he know how many footmen were in his employ?”
Devonsgate hesitated.
Jack's heart sank a bit. ”He did, didn't he?”
”Yes, my lord.”
”And did Berks.h.i.+re know how much they were paid?”