Part 6 (1/2)
”Yesterday I put in a busy day visiting the abbey (Westminster) and riding around on the 'buses (omnibuses) and tram cars (street cars).
In the afternoon I went up to Marble Arch (the entrance to Hyde Park), and saw many fas.h.i.+onables; also I looked at the Row (Rotten Row, a drive and equestrian path in Hyde Park). There were a great many women in smart gowns (stylish dresses), and nearly all the men wore frock coats (Prince Alberts), and top hats (silk hats). There are many striking residential mansions (apartment houses) facing the park, and the district is one of the most exclusive up west (in the west end of London). Sunday evening is very dull, and I looked around the smoking-room of the hotel. Nearly every man in the room had a 'B and S' (brandy and soda) in front of him, although some of them preferred 'polly' (apollinaris) to the soda. A few of them drank fizz (champagne); but, so far as I have observed, most of the Englishmen drink spirits (whiskey), although they very seldom take it neat (straight), as you do at home. I went to bed early and had a good sleep. This morning when I awoke I found that my boots (shoes), which I had placed outside the door the night before, had been neatly varnished (polished). The tub (bath) which I had bespoken (ordered) the night before was ready, and I had a jolly good splash.”
We paused in our admiring study of the letter and remarked to the author that ”jolly good splash” was very good for one who had been ash.o.r.e only two days.
”Rahther,” he said.
”I beg pardon?”
”Rahther, I say. But you understand, of course, that I'm giving him a bit of spoof.”
”A bit of what?”
”Spoof--spoof. Is it possible that you have been here since Sat.u.r.day without learning what 'spoof' means? It means to chaff, to joke. In the States the slang equivalent would be 'to string' someone.”
”How did you learn it?”
”A cabby told me about it. I started to have some fun with him, and he told me to 'give over on the spoof.' But go ahead with the letter. I think there are several things there that you'll like.”
So we resumed.
”For breakfast I had a bowl of porridge (oatmeal) and a couple of eggs, with a few crumpets (rolls). Nearly all day I have been looking in the shop windows marvelling at the cheap prices. Over here you can get a good lounge suit (sack suit) for about three guineas (a guinea is twenty-one s.h.i.+llings); and I saw a beautiful poncho (light ulster) for four sovereigns (a sovereign is a pound, or twenty s.h.i.+llings). A fancy waistcoat (vest) costs only twelve to twenty s.h.i.+llings ($3 to $5), and you can get a very good morning coat (cutaway) and waistcoat for three and ten (three pounds and ten s.h.i.+llings). I am going to order several suits before I take pa.s.sage (sail) for home. Thus far I have bought nothing except a pot hat (a derby), for which I paid a half-guinea (ten s.h.i.+llings and sixpence). This noon I ate a snack (light luncheon) in the establishment of a licensed victualer (caterer), who is also a spirit merchant (liquor dealer). I saw a great many business men and clarks (clerks) eating their meat pies (a meat pie is a sort of a frigid dumpling with a shred of meat concealed somewhere within, the trick being to find the meat), and drinking bitter (ale) or else stout (porter). Some of them would eat only a few biscuit (crackers) for their lunch. Others would order as much as a cut of beef, or, as we say over here, a 'lunch from the joint.' This afternoon I have wandered about the busy thoroughfares. All the street vehicles travel rapidly in London, and you are chivied (hurried) at every corner.”
”You have learned altogether too much,” said Mr. Peasley. Where did you pick up that word 'chivy'?”
”I got that before I had been ash.o.r.e a half hour. Didn't I hear one of those railroad men down at Southampton tell another one to 'chivy' the crowd out of the custom house and get it on the train? I suppose that 'chivy' means to rush or to hurry. Anyway, he won't know the difference, and it sounds about as English as anything I have heard over here.”
The letter continued:
”One of the common sights in London is the coster's (costermonger's) little cart, drawn by a diminutive moke (donkey); but you do not see many of them west of the City (the original London confined within the boundaries of the ancient wall, but now comprising only a small part of the geographical area of the metropolis). I saw so many novel things that I would like to tell about them, but I will reserve my further experiences for another letter.”
”I don't want to write again until I have got a new stock of words,”
the author explained.
He read as follows in conclusion:
”This evening I am going to the theatre, having made a reservation (that is, having purchased) two orchestra stalls (parquet chairs) at the Lyceum. You may gather from this letter that I am having a ripping (very good) time, and in no hurry to terminate my stay in town (in London). I am your awfully devoted brother,
”ALEXANDER.”
IN PARIS
CHAPTER VII
HOW AN AMERICAN ENJOYS LIFE FOR EIGHT MINUTES AT A TIME