Part 6 (2/2)
Gossip.--There is a vast deal of unhappiness in this world caused by gossip. Dr. J. G. Holland presents helpful ideas in the following:--
”What is the cure for gossip?--Simply culture. There is a great deal of gossip that has no malignity in it. Good-natured people talk about their neighbors because they have nothing else to talk about. As we write, there comes to us the picture of a family of young ladies. We have seen them at home, we have met them in galleries of art, we have caught glimpses of them going from a book store or library with a fresh volume in their hands. When we meet them they are full of what they have seen and read. They are br.i.m.m.i.n.g with questions. One topic of conversation is dropped only to give place to another in which they are interested. We have left them after a delightful hour, stimulated and refreshed, and during the whole hour not a neighbor's garment was soiled by so much as a touch. They had something to talk about. They knew something, and wanted to know more. They could listen as well as they could talk. To speak freely of a neighbor's doings and belongings would have seemed an impertinence to them, and, of course, an impropriety. They had no temptation to gossip, because the doings of their neighbors formed a subject very much less interesting than those which grew out of their knowledge and their culture.
”And this tells the whole story. The confirmed gossip is always either malicious or ignorant. The one variety needs a change of heart and the other a change of pasture. Gossip is always a personal confession either of malice or imbecility, and the young should not only shun it, but, by most thorough culture, relieve themselves from all temptation to indulge in it. It is a low, frivolous, and, too often, a dirty business. There are neighborhoods in which it rages like a pest. Churches are split in pieces by it. Neighbors are made enemies by it for life. In many persons it degenerates into a chronic disease, which is practically incurable. Let the young cure it while they may.”
Married Life.--As the family is the center about which all life revolves, it is absolutely essential to have happy relations there.
Husbands too often neglect their wives and homes. ”Women are lonely,”
says Mrs. Annie Jenness. ”They miss their husbands. What amount of companions.h.i.+p exists between the American woman and the man? He starts for his office as soon as his breakfast is hurriedly swallowed. He does not come home at the lunch hour. He is barely in season for a late dinner. Very possibly he belongs to a club and has an engagement as soon as dinner is done.
”If not that, his head is in bank or counting-house, and he studies the stock quotations in the night's paper, and counts, as against a possible rise of wheat, the day's gossip, with which his wife is overflowing, very small potatoes. They have callers, or they go to opera or theater.
It may easily happen that they do not spend ten minutes in conversation with each other during the day. American men are always in a hurry. They seem to live for the sole purpose of catching trains. They have no time to amuse or be amused.
”The conditions of modern life separate them from women. The lives of men grow more and more simple--business comprehends the whole. The lives of women grow more and more complex--everything which is not business is given over to them. A man past the romantic epoch, who honestly enjoys talking with women, is not an average mortal. The every-day sort of man takes pains to be detained somewhere until all the guests have departed from his wife's 5 o'clock tea. The couple live in different worlds. The world is now discussing why marriage is a failure, if it is? Then consider this collection of reasons:--
”When either of the parties marry for money.
”When the lord of creation pays more for cigars than his better half does for hosiery, boots, and bonnets.
”When one of the parties engages in a business that is not approved by the other.
”When both parties persist in arguing over a subject upon which they never have and never can think alike.
”When neither husband nor wife takes a vacation.
”When the vacations are taken by one side of the house only.
”When a man attempts to tell his wife what style of bonnet she must wear.
”When a man's Christmas presents to his wife consist of boot-jacks, s.h.i.+rts, and gloves for himself.
”When the watchword is, 'Each for himself.'
”When dinner is not ready at dinner-time.
”When 'he' snores his loudest while 'she' kindles the fire.
”When 'father' takes half of the pie and leaves the other half for the one that made it and her eight children.
”When the children are given the neck and back of the chicken.
”When children are obliged to clamor for their rights.
”When the money that should go for a book goes for what only one side of the house knows anything about.
”When there is too much latch-key.
”When politeness, fine manners, and kindly attentions are reserved for company or visits abroad.”
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