Vol 3 Chapter 6 (1/2)

x.x.x

Xion got up out of bed, and got ready as usual. Then, she looked into a mirror that sat in a corner of the room.

The usual me. And, not the usual me. Xion stared at herself in the mirror. That’s—someone else, not me. But, maybe I know who that is, that me reflected in the mirror. A boy who looks a lot like Roxas.

Xion looked down for a moment, then she looked back into the mirror. Her usual self was reflected back at her. Thoughts just as unstable as her own self, Xion smiled.

Riku gave me this time. It can’t go on like this. I have to decide. Before the Organisation gets serious and does something.

x.x.x

This is the limit. Naminé looked up at Sora’s sleeping pod. Sora was sleeping, as always. And, all action had stopped. “Sora…,” she murmured, and bowed her head at the presence of two people behind her.

“It’s come to a complete stop, hasn’t it,” said DiZ, looking up at Sora.

“Yes…,” Naminé answered, and she too looked up at Sora once more. Sora, who looks like a lifeless sh.e.l.l. Maybe having no memories means that the Sora in front of my eyes isn’t really Sora, but his container.

“We cannot hesitate a moment longer. You understand this too, don’t you?”

At DiZ voice, the other one there—Riku—nodded. “Yeah.”

I wonder what Riku plans to do. About the kid. And, I wonder what that kid plans to do. My chest feels tight. n.o.bodies aren’t allowed to exist. Neither am I. But—‘that’s why’, they say.

Indecisions developed in her thoughts.

“If so, you should act quickly.”

“…I guess you’re right,” Riku answered, and he left the room.

“What do you plan to do, Naminé?”

“I will watch over Sora, here.”

“I see. Do as you please—Witch.” DiZ disappeared.

Alone in the room, she said the boy’s name once more, as if it were a prayer. “Sora…”

x.x.x

Opening his eyes, he felt a little more refreshed than usual.

I didn’t dream. I was so surprised about what happened yesterday—that the opponent I tried to fight was Xion. I don’t really understand what the Organisation is trying to do. I wonder what they wanted to have happen from making me and Xion fight. But, Axel saved me. I’m sure he’ll stand by me from now on. And, it was great that the three of us were able to eat ice cream together for the first time in ages. I was able to forget those awful things.

Oh yeah—ice cream. The winner stick.

Roxas sat up, and opened the drawer of the little shelf at his bedside. Rolling around in there were a lot of sh.e.l.ls—and deeper, one stick.

I totally forgot. I wanted to use it when with Axel some time. Today at the clock tower, I’m going to show Axel and Xion, and brag, and then we’ll all eat ice cream together. Just like yesterday…

x.x.x

Walking the hallways, he tried to gather his scattered thoughts. He hadn’t slept well today, either. Axel shook his head slowly, trying to dispel his sleepiness, but he still felt hazy remembering what had happened yesterday.

The Organisation tried to annihilate either Roxas or Xion. I’m thinking about what I should do, what I want to do. I want to know a way to save both Roxas and Xion. I want to respect both their wishes. I wondered all night whether there’s really and truly no way to do that—and, of course, I couldn’t find the answer.

“It seems you chose the selfish course of action.”

Axel stopped walking. I didn’t notice he was there—Saïx. He turned. “What are you talking about?” he answered, smiling thinly.

“Our plan does not require two of them. You understand this, don’t you? One is plenty.”

When you say ‘we,’ who do you mean? Axel wanted to ask suddenly, giving a bitter smile instead. We—Is ‘we’ the Organisation itself? Or is ‘we’ just Saïx and me? I don’t really know any more.

“Think good and hard about it.”

I am thinking. I’m thinking so hard that I’m sick of it. I’m thinking so hard that I just want you to tell me the answer. He wanted to tell him so, but Saïx had already started walking towards the lobby.

It’s just like that back is rejecting me. And, I’m realising that my memories of the past are too different from the thoughts I’m having now. Why the h.e.l.l am I here? I don’t really know any more. What the h.e.l.l do I want to do?

Axel entered the lobby, following Saïx.

“I’ll be counting on you today, Red,” came a sudden and unexpected voice, and Axel stopped walking. It was Xigbar.

“What do you mean?” Axel asked, and Xigbar shrugged.

“Tell him, poppet.”

Xion, standing behind him with her hood up, nodded. Her hood was pulled far forwards. I wonder why.

“Xigbar and me and you have a mission together today,” she said.

Axel found himself looking at Saïx, who stood in the middle of the room. Saïx was only gazing over at them in silence.

A mission for this particular set of members—there has to be some kind of ulterior motive here.

“Not satisfied with me?” Xigbar said laughingly.

“It’s just the first time the three of us have gone out,” Axel replied, shrugging. “Why would I be dissatisfied? It’s not often that we get to take a stroll with No. 2, now. Right, Xion?”

“That’s true,” Xion replied. Her hood in the way, Axel couldn’t really tell what her expression was life.

“So, why are you wearing your hood up today, Xion?”

“…I didn’t sleep well and my eyes are swollen,” Xion replied in a small voice. The reply made something twinge in Axel’s chest, but he didn’t know why.

“What a girly reason, ha ha,” said Xigbar, his laugh sounding put on.

“…Morning,” Roxas greeted.

At the sound of Roxas’ voice, the three of them turned to the entrance to the lobby.

“You’re a bit late, aren’t you?” answered Saïx.

“I didn’t sleep well…,” said Roxas, looking away. He walked over to Xion. “Are the three of us going out today?”

Without waiting for Xion, Saïx was the one to answer him again. “You’re alone for your mission.”

“…I can’t swap with Xigbar, can I?” Roxas suggested.

“How extraordinarily childish you seem. So you can’t do anything if Axel isn’t with you?” Saïx went on to say. Roxas bowed his head, and bit his lip.

“That’s not… true.”

I want to send a lifeboat, but even if I did it probably wouldn’t do anything. It’s more important that I find out the hidden flip side to today’s mission.

“Your mission is separate. Hurry up and get ready,” Saïx said, running Roxas down.

“…Got it,” Roxas answered.

Xigbar put his arms around Axel and Xion, friendlily. “Well then, we’ll be off. See ya, kiddo.”

“I’ll talk to you later, Roxas.”

Roxas nodded to both Xigbar and Xion.

“Don’t push yourself too much,” Axel called out, last, and Roxas looked at him. He was smiling just a little. Maybe what happened yesterday dispelled Roxas’ doubts, a little…

Then, Axel and the other disappeared into a corridor of darkness.

x.x.x

Roxas’ mission was Heartless extermination in Twilight Town. It was a same-old boring mission, thought Roxas, wielding his Keyblade. The winner stick was in his pocket.

But—I feel so uneasy for some reason. The weird combination of Axel, Xion and Xigbar is playing on my mind. It’s the first time I’ve seen the three of them have a mission together. I have a hunch that something special might happen.

Then, he remembered the events of the previous day. The Organisation made Xion and I fight, what did they want from that? If we fought with our true natures hidden, one of us could have been wounded. At the very worst, destroyed, maybe. Was the Organisation trying to get either of Xion or I destroyed?

Either of us… Was it even really either one?

I’m sure the Organisation knows—Saïx knows that I haven’t been feeling well, realised Roxas. If so, was it me who would have been destroyed…?

Roxas stopped. The gloominess deep inside his chest spread wider.

Is the Organisation trying to have me destroyed…?

x.x.x

The mission was mediocre; it didn’t seem worthy of three people. Axel providing cover for Xigbar and Xion, they pushed further into the forest. They were in Wonderland. It was a world composed of strange gardens and richly coloured forests.

Xion had kept her hood up the entire time.

Something feels off. I don’t know the true nature of it. Yesterday’s happenings—Xion’s abilities. Every time I think about those things, I get irritated. I stop being able to settle down. I stop knowing what I want to do, what I should do.

“That’s my Poppet! Leaving me with nothing do to here,” said Xigbar, grinning as he watched Xion fight. He turned to Axel. “Don’t you think so, Carrot-top?”

“Yeah. I have no idea why you’re here either,” said Axel, with only the slightest hint of sarcasm.

Xigbar laughed like it was unbearably funny, body almost bent double. “Hahaha. So very true. It’s because I tagged along on my own selfish whim, that’s all. Guys shooting for power do make a point to listen to guys like me.”

Guys shooting for power—he means Saïx. Axel listened to Xigbar in silence. I’m sure Xigbar has noticed Saïx and my conspiracy. So, he’s trying to trick me into revealing the truth.

“Don’t be so guarded. I’ll tell you something nice.” Xigbar put an arm around Axel’s shoulder, and whispered, “It’s about the doll. Or maybe to you I should be using the word Replica?”

Axel looked at Xigbar’s face reflexively. His expression was the same as always; plastered with a grin.

“That there is a new model of doll. A better version of the one you would have seen at Castle Oblivion. It doesn’t just copy. Even without defeating its opponent, it can absorb abilities along with memories. And, it can change shape in response to the memories of whoever is looking.”

Sweat broke out along Axel’s back. His insides were buzzing. “…What do you mean?”

“I mean this—Hey, poppet,” Xigbar called to Xion.

Xion stopped her hand from destroying a Heartless. “…What?”

“Don’t you think it’d be okay to take that hood down about now?” Xigbar put his hand on Xion’s hood. The moment he did, Xion cut Xigbar down with the Keyblade.

“—Xion?!” Axel yelled, reflexively. Xigbar came thumping down in front of him, thrown back. Xion’s hood had been dislodged in the process.

And standing there was—

Xigbar stood up, laughing. “Haha!! So that’s how it is!!” Xion pulled her hood back up in a hurry. “For me to be able to see you, well, that’s something.”

What the h.e.l.l does Xigbar see Xion as? And the way Xion looks to me—why do I see her like that?

“Why do you always glare at me like that?” Xigbar asked, and Xion pounced. The two of them clashed, and Xigbar hit the ground. Xion panted for breath, Keyblade in hand. Then, she spoke.

“I’m sorry, Axel. I can’t be in the Organisation—I can’t be by Roxas’ side—any longer.”

“Are you serious?” I can’t judge what I should do in a split second.

“Please, just turn a blind eye… There’s no longer any other way. Look…” Xion slowly pulled her hood down. Axel’s breath caught. Standing there, just like he’d seen before, was—Sora. “Please Axel… protect Roxas.”

“But… you—” His words wouldn’t come out. Of course, I don’t know what I should do. And, I don’t know what I have to do to be able to protect Roxas.

“Please!” Xion said, sounding as if she would cry any minute, and Axel dropped his head. “Thank you, Axel.”

Xion—Sora smiled, and pulled his hood up again.

“…Xion,” Axel called, but Xion didn’t turn around. He simply stepped into a corridor of darkness.

x.x.x

His chest fluttering somehow, he couldn’t settle down. No one had come to the clock tower. It’s not rare for no one to come. But it makes me really uneasy.

Xion definitely did say “I’ll talk to you later” this morning. I thought that meant if I waited here she’d come, which is why I came.

I wanted Xion and Axel to deny my idea that the Organisation wants me destroyed. To say there’s no way that could be true.

Not just that. I actually brought the winner stick, today…

Wanting very badly to meet Xion or Axel, Roxas opened a dark corridor to return to the castle in a slight hurry. Waiting on the clock tower made his uneasiness multiply, and he didn’t know what else to do.

Maybe something happened to Axel and Xion that made them have to go back to the castle first. And, I wanted to talk to Xion, just a little. Xion is probably hiding something from me.

Halfway down the hallway to Xion’s room—were Saïx, Axel, and Xigbar.

“What were you trying to pull, Axel,” said Saïx.

“The old man here misunderstood, I didn’t let anyone go. It was a simple escape,” replied Axel, eyes averted.

Let go…? Who?

“It was my mistake. You can blame me for that,” Xigbar said, in a leisurely manner.

“…Did something happen?” Roxas found himself asking, and all three looked at him at once.

There was silence—Roxas felt uncomfortable. Then he noticed that Xion wasn’t there.

“Even with this one here left, it’s meaningless,” Saïx spat, and left.

Saïx’ words—so the Organisation really was trying to get me destroyed after all? “Where’s Xion?” Roxas asked Axel. Axel’s eyes stayed averted, and he didn’t say anything. Why won’t you say anything, Axel?

After a small laugh, Xigbar answered in Axel’s place. “Gone. Red-head over there let her go,” he said, pointing at Axel.

Xion is gone…? Axel let her go…? “What’s he saying, Axel!” Roxas pressed. Axel didn’t even twitch to look at Roxas.

“While she escaped, he just sat there sucking his thumb, as they say. I’m going back to my room,” was all Xigbar said, and he left briskly.

Roxas and Axel were the only two left.

A crus.h.i.+ngly heavy silence pa.s.sed between them.

“What happened?” Roxas asked.

Axel shook his head. “Nothing… really…”

The response wasn’t like Axel at all. It made Roxas even more irritated. “Nothing, you say! Xion’s gone, there’s no way it can be nothing!”