Part 30 (2/2)

Shall put in list of fearless defiances for July speeches.

Shall probably use it in Oklahoma.

9.30 a.m. Bad news. British s.h.i.+p _Torpid_ torpedoed by a torpedo. Tense atmosphere all over Was.h.i.+ngton. Retreated instantly to the pigeon-house and shut the door. I must _think_. At all costs. And no one shall hurry me.

10 a.m. Have thought. Came out of pigeon-house. It is all right. I wonder I didn't think of it sooner. The point is perfectly simple. If Admiral Tirpitz torpedoed the _Torpid_ with a torpedo, where's the torpedo Admiral Tirpitz torped? In other words, how do they know it's a torpedo? The idea seems absolutely overwhelming. Wrote notes at once to England and to Germany.

11 a.m. Gave out my idea to the a.s.s Press. Tense feeling at Was.h.i.+ngton vanished instantly and utterly. Feeling now loose. In fact everything splendid. Money became easy at once. Marks rose. Exports jumped. Gold reserve swelled.

3 p.m. Slightly bad news. Appears there is trouble in the Island of Piccolo Domingo. Looked it up on map. Is one of the smaller West Indies. We don't own it. I imagine Roosevelt must have overlooked it. An American has been in trouble there: was refused a drink after closing time and burnt down saloon. Is now in jail. Shall send at once our latest battles.h.i.+p--the _Woodrow_--new design, both ends alike, escorted by double-ended coal barges the _Wilson_, the _President_, the _Professor_ and the _Thinker_. Shall take firm stand on American rights.

Piccolo Domingo must either surrender the American alive, or give him to us dead.

TUESDAY. A lovely day. Rose early. Put flowers in all the vases. Laid a wreath of early j.a.ponica beside my egg-cup on the breakfast table. Cabinet to morning prayers and breakfast. Prayed for better guidance.

9 a.m. Trouble, bad trouble. First of all Roosevelt has an interview in the morning papers in which he asks why I don't treat Germany as I treat Piccolo Domingo. Now, what a fool question! Can't he _see_ why? Roosevelt never could see reason. Bryan also has an interview: wants to know why I don't treat Piccolo Domingo as I treat Germany?

Doesn't he _know_ why?

Result: strained feeling in Was.h.i.+ngton. Morning mail bad.

10 a.m. British Admiralty communication. To the pigeon-house at once. They offer to send piece of torpedo, fragment of s.h.i.+p and selected portions of dead American citizens.

Have come out of pigeon-house. Have cabled back: How do they know it is a torpedo, how do they know it is a fragment, how do they know he was an American who said he was dead?

My answer has helped. Feeling in Was.h.i.+ngton easier at once. General buoyancy. Loans and discounts doubled.

As I expected--a note from Germany. Chancellor very explicit. Says not only did they not torpedo the _Torpid_, but that on the day (whenever it was) that the steamer was torpedoed they had no submarines at sea, no torpedoes in their submarines, and nothing really explosive in their torpedoes. Offers, very kindly, to fill in the date of sworn statement as soon as we furnish accurate date of incident. Adds that his own theory is that the _Torpid_ was sunk by somebody throwing rocks at it from the sh.o.r.e.

Wish, somehow, that he had not added this argument.

More bad news: Further trouble in Mexico. Appears General Villa is not dead. He has again crossed the border, shot up a saloon and retreated to the mountains of Huahuapaxtapetl. Have issued instructions to have the place looked up on the map and send the whole army to it, but without in any way violating the neutrality of Mexico.

Late cables from England. Two more s.h.i.+ps torpedoed.

American pa.s.senger lost. Name of Roosevelt. Christian name not Theodore but William. Cabled expression of regret.

WEDNESDAY. Rose sad at heart. Did not work in garden.

Tried to weed a little gra.s.s along the paths but simply couldn't. This is a cruel job. How was it that Roosevelt grew stout on it? His nature must be different from mine.

What a miserable nature he must have.

Received delegations. From Kansas, on the prospect of the corn crop: they said the number of hogs in Kansas will double. Congratulated them. From Idaho, on the blight on the root crop: they say there will soon not be a hog left in Idaho. Expressed my sorrow. From Michigan, beet sugar growers urging a higher percentage of sugar in beets. Took firm stand: said I stand where I stood and I stood where I stand. They went away dazzled, delighted.

Mail and telegrams. British Admiralty. _Torpid_ Incident.

Send further samples. Fragment of valise, parts of cow-hide trunk (dead pa.s.senger's luggage) which, they say, could not have been made except in Nevada.

Cabled that the incident is closed and that I stand where I stood and that I am what I am. Situation in Was.h.i.+ngton relieved at once. General feeling that I shall not make war.

<script>