Part 39 (1/2)

”And so will I, Luke.” Neither of us spoke for a moment. My throat closed up so tightly anyway, I wasn't sure I would be able to get any more words out. Finally, after a deep sigh, I looked at the painting of him I had done and regained my strength. ”Oh, Luke, I painted a picture of you standing in the gazebo.”

”Really? Can I have it to hang in my dormitory room?”

I wanted it for myself, but I thought that was too selfish a thing to say.

”Of course.”

”I'll see it when I come to pick you up. Don't worry about anything. I'll handle all the travel arrangements.”

”Thank you, Luke.”

”Annie, it's so hard to deny what I feel for you.” ”I know. It's been the same for me.”

”I'll see you soon.” Both of us had to end the conversation for the same reason. Each word was like a sharp, heavy sword, stinging as it struck us, right through to our hearts.

Later in the afternoon Drake called. He was surprised I already knew about Tony's death, and even more surprised when I told him I would be at the funeral. He didn't even ask me how I had found out, so I didn't mention Troy at all. He put me off with his cold businessman's tone of voice.

”Well, if you thought you wanted to come, you should have called me. But it's not too late. I'll make arrangements for you.”

”It's all being done. Luke's coming along, too.” ”I should have known.”

”Please, Drake. For Tony's sake, for his memory, let's keep peace,” I pleaded.

”You're right. Of course, I'll act dignified. Everyone who's anyone in the business world will be there, I a.s.sure you.”

”I didn't mean--”

”Anyway, you can't imagine what's left to do now. I haven't got the time to waste on Luke. It's fortunate I began here before all this happened. I might as well have been Tony's son, the way people are turning to me. I was going to surprise you with the news, but I might as well tell you now. Before he died, Tony gave me a large percentage of the stock in his corporation.” He paused, and then dryly added when I didn't congratulate him quickly enough, ”I thought you would be happy to know.”

”I know it's what you want, Drake. I know you're happy.”

He was disappointed with my thoughtful and controlled reaction.

”Yes. Well, I'll see you at the funeral.”

”Yes, Drake.” He seemed more and more a stranger to me.

Luke was at the house very early the morning of Tony's funeral to take me to the airport. I was dressed and ready when he came to my room. I stood without the cane. For a long moment we stared at each other. Finally, he s.h.i.+fted his eyes to the painting I had done of him.

”Wow, that is really good.”

”I was hoping you would like it.”

”Like it? I love it. You're a wonderful artist, Annie. People will pay thousands for your paintings, I'm sure. I know I will.”

We stared at each other again. It seemed that whenever one of us finished a sentence, there was sure to be a long pause during which our eyes did the talking. Right now mine were telling him how much I loved and needed him and how much I felt cheated by destiny. His said the same.

I thought Aunt f.a.n.n.y would relent and join us, but she had as much of that Casteel stubbornness in her as she said Drake and Luke had. She broke our tormenting silences by coming to the doorway of my bedroom, her hands on her hips, her head thrown back in her characteristic manner.

”Can't believe ya traveled down here ta take her ta that place, Luke. Ya shouldn't have encouraged it.”

”I would have gone with or without him, Aunt f.a.n.n.y.”

”Yer motha ran away from that place and that man, Annie.”

”I know.” I gazed at one of the pictures of her on my vanity table. It was one of my favorites because in it she was gazing off toward the w.i.l.l.i.e.s, one of her few good memories of that life brightening her cornflower-blue eyes. ”But she had a way of seeing the rainbows after the rain. I think she would have gone to Tony's funeral, too, Aunt f.a.n.n.y.” I turned back to her, my gaze as sharp and as determined as Mommy's could be. Aunt f.a.n.n.y saw that.

”I've got to go for both of us.”

TWENTY-FOUR.

My Prince, at Last.

As we started for the airport, I couldn't help imagining what it would have been like for us to be going to a plane that would take us on our honeymoon. What if we defied Fate and defied everyone and ran off to get married? This would have been our most romantic and loving journey. Airline attendants and other pa.s.sengers would have looked at us snuggled beside each other and smiled to themselves, thinking how wonderful young love could be, how it opened the world and made life dazzling, exciting, hopeful, and warm.

When I looked into Luke's face now as he helped me into the car taking us to the airport, I couldn't help but think we did belong together. How tragic and quick life could be, I thought. Look at what had happened to my parents; look at the agony Tony had lived through. Why shouldn't we choose happiness?

During the ride to the airport in Virginia and the Plight itself, I debated whether or not I should tell Luke about the letter I had found in the toy cottage.

Luke had been very polite, almost formal during the journey so far. I knew he was acting this way in order to build a wall between his feelings and me, but it was a torment for both of us. We quickly ran out of small talk, and every time his eyes met mine, our hearts thumped so hard both our faces became crimson. The pa.s.sion within us wouldn't be denied. It would be easier to harness the ocean tide or smother the lightning that streaked across the summer sky.

Because what happened between Troy and Mommy seemed so similar to what was happening between Luke and me, I thought he had a right to know and to understand what they had suffered. Surely it would help him appreciate why Mommy was so fearful about our relations.h.i.+p.

I began by reminding him of the toy cottage, and then I described my discovery. When I recited some of Troy's words, tears appeared in the corners of his dark sapphire eyes.

”I can under-Stand his loneliness and why he wanted to drop out of the world and live by himself on the other side of the maze,” Luke said. ”I feel the same way.”

”No, Luke. You can't deny your life the way he has denied his. You must go on to become a doctor like you dreamed you would and find someone you can love cleanly, wholely, without guilt of any kind. You deserve it.”

”And you?”

”I'll do the same. . . .”

”You're not a good liar, Annie. Your blue eyes betray you.”

”Well, I'm going to try,” I insisted.

He smiled that smile of Casteel arrogance, Drake's smile, too.

”Luke Toby Casteel, you don't know everything.”

After my reprimand, his face became soft, sad, like a little boy's face.

”I know what I feel in my heart and what you feel in yours, and I know what that means.” ”I'm going to try anyway, and so should you,” I repeated in a smaller voice. I turned away from him so he wouldn't see my tears. Luke dozed on and off for the remainder of the trip and I stared out the window at the tiny houses and highways below, once again wis.h.i.+ng we lived in a Tatterton toy world where fantasies could come true.

At the airport in Boston we rented a car and began the drive to Farthy. I couldn't help but remember Tony's excitement during my first journey to Farthy after I had been released from the hospital. He was so happy and eager to help me. How could I have ever antic.i.p.ated what was soon to pa.s.s? Perhaps if Mommy had had a chance to tell me more about her past, I would have avoided the hards.h.i.+p and turmoil. By the time we arrived at Farthy, the throng of mourners were gathered at the front of the house.