Part 26 (1/2)
”In time,” he instructed. ”In time. won't rush things,” he warned. ”Now, about this dress--”
”I'll pick something out myself, Tony, after I wash up.”
”I'll help you,” he said, taking hold of the wheelchair and turning it toward the bathroom before I could move it myself.
”But Tony--”
”Remember what the doctor said about buts,” he said. He turned the chair toward the bathtub and brought me face-to-face with it. Then he started running the water.
”Tony, I can't let you do all this,” I protested. ”Nonsense. I feel terribly responsible for what happened with Mrs. Broadfield. I hired her. The least I could do until she is replaced is provide the service you need and deserve. Just think of me as a male nurse,” he added cheerfully. ”How about some bubble bath?” He shook some pink powder into the water, then went out to get a washcloth and some towels.
”Tony,” I said as softly as I could when he returned, ”I'm a grown woman now. I need my privacy.”
”You mustn't worry about those things now,” he said. ”And anyway, this is all as the doctor instructed.”
I didn't know how to reply. He turned off the water in the tub and smiled down at me.
”Time to go in,” he said. I looked at the water and up at him. His gray hair was brushed back neatly and his eyes were soft, loving. ”Once you're in, I'll let you wash yourself,” he offered. ”I just want to be sure you don't slip and bang yourself against the tub.”
With great reluctance, I lifted my nightgown over my body. He took it from me and brought his hands under my arms. Inevitably, his fingers touched the sides of my naked b.r.e.a.s.t.s. I gasped. No one but my parents and doctors and nurses had ever seen me naked before, much less touched me. But Tony didn't seem to notice what he had done: He brought his arm under my legs and lifted me into the water, lowering me slowly, until bubbles hid my nudity. I felt terribly helpless, more like an infant than an invalid.
”There,” he said. ”See how easy it was? Here,” he added, offering me the washcloth. ”I'll just go out and straighten up the bed while you bathe.”
About ten minutes later he returned.
”How are you doing?”
”Fine.”
”Want me to scrub your back? I'm an expert at that. I used to do it for your grandmother and your mother.”
”Really?” I couldn't imagine Mommy permitting him to do so.
”Absolute expert,” he said and took the cloth from my hands, positioning himself on the rear of the tub. leaned forward as he brought the cloth to my neck. ”You have the same smooth, graceful neck, Annie,” he said, moving the cloth down to my shoulders gently. ”And the same dainty, feminine shoulders, shoulders that can tease and torment the strongest men,”
I felt the way he used the washcloth to trace the lines in my shoulders, around, over my collarbone, and back behind my neck again. Moments later I also felt his breath against me, and when I gazed at the mirror across from us, saw that his eyes were closed and he was holding his head as though he were inhaling me. A chill of terror rushed through me.
”Tony,” I said, putting my hand over his and the washcloth, ”I can finish up now. Thank you.”
”What? Oh yes, yes.” He stood up quickly. ”I'll lay a towel over your wheelchair seat,” he said, and did it. ”Are you finished?”
”Yes, but you're going to get all wet.”
”Don't worry about me. I've been all wet before,” he kidded, and reached into the water to scoop his arms under me again. Then he lifted me gingerly out of the tub and set me down on the chair. Quickly, I wrapped the towels about myself. Tony seized another towel and began wiping my legs.
”I can do that, Tony.”
”Nonsense. Why exhaust yourself when I'm around to help?” He went on, ma.s.saging my calves and working his way up over my knees, wiping my skin with an artist's care. He squatted and raised his eyes slowly to confront my gaze. ”When I see you here like this, I can think only of your grandmother Leigh.”
”Why do you say that, Tony?”
”The way you look--young, innocent, so soft, and your hair .”
I was beginning to regret agreeing to the change of color. Perhaps because of it, Tony often didn't see me when he looked at me.
”I'd better get dressed, Tony,” I said.
”Yes, of course.” He stood up and wheeled me out of the bathroom to the bed, where he had laid out the blue cotton dress. ”I'll help you,” he said, and moved quickly to get me a pair of panties and a bra. He squatted before me again.
”I can do this, Tony.” I reached for my panties, but he simply lifted my feet and slipped the undergarment over my ankles, moving it up my legs slowly, his gaze fixed, his fingers never touching my skin. When he reached my thighs, he stopped and came around behind me. There was no stopping him. Using his forearms, he lifted me just enough to pull the panties into place. I closed my eyes to deny what was happening. He started to unwrap the towel.
”Tony, please, let me do this.”
”I'll just a.s.sist,” he insisted, and brought my bra around. I shoved my arms through quickly, but when I started to fasten it, his hands moved over mine and quickly took over. ”And now for the finish,” he announced, and came around to the front with the dress.
”Tony, I don't think this dress--”
”Just lift your arms. It'll be easy.”
Reluctantly, realizing it was the easiest way to bring all this to an end, I lifted my arms and let him bring the dress down over my head. He lifted and adjusted my body so he could pull the dress on completely, and then he stood back.
”See? Nothing to any of it. I'll be here every morning to help you, Annie.”
”Every morning? But surely we'll have another nurse by tomorrow.”
”I hope so, but I'm going to be a great deal more careful about whom I hire now. We don't want another Mrs. Broadfield, do we?” He smiled and then clapped his hands. ”Now let me see about your breakfast,” he added, and hurried out of the room, energized by all he had done and all he had to do.
In minutes he reappeared carrying my breakfast tray.
”I hope you're hungry this morning,” he said, stepping back.
”Yes. I'm famished.” I hoped that was another sign of my recovery.
”I'll just get dressed while you eat,” he finally said, and left.
When he returned, he looked quite untidy, much like the way he had appeared in Drake's letter-- his hair disheveled, his tie loose, and the tie itself stained. His suit jacket and pants were quite creased, It was as though he had put on an old set of clothes.
”Good morning,” he said, as if this were the first time he had seen me this morning. I just stared in amazement, but he didn't seem to notice. He didn't look at me long. Instead he stood rocking on his feet, peering out the window, his hands behind his back. He ran his tongue over his lips, popped his cheeks in and out and nodded. Once again I had the sense he was moving in and out of reality, traveling back and forth between the past and the present. Truly he was beginning to alarm me.
”I feel a lot stronger this morning, Tony,” I said, eager to get things back on track so I could contact Luke. ”Maybe you will take me on my outing after all,”
He spoke, but it wasn't in response to what I was saying. He acted like a man hearing another conversation.
”I promise you,” he began, ”I'll give you a home and all that goes with it. . . .”
”Home? I don't understand, Tony. I have a home .
”From what I already know about you, you adapt quickly. I' suspect in the long run you will soon be more Bostonian than I myself am, and I was born here.” He started to laugh, but stopped, his face hardening as his lips curled. ”But I want no hillbilly relatives of yours showing up, not ever.. . .”
”Hillbilly relatives?” I hope he didn't mean Iruke. ”What are you saying, Tony? You're frightening me.”