Part 21 (1/2)
”But she's my aunt. I can't be kept like a prisoner in solitary confinement!” I pleaded, perhaps too emphatically. Poor Drake looked absolutely devastated by my outburst. ”I'm sorry, Drake. It's not your fault. You did only what you thought was right, I'm sure.”
”It can't be much longer, anyway, Annie. You look so much better already. Now that I'm a little more used to it, I think that hairdo does suit you. When I first came through that door, I thought Tony had put some movie starlet in this room while I was gone.”
”Oh, Drake.”
”No, you look a lot better than you did when I left. I mean it.”
”I hope you're right, Drake.” I looked down and then remembered tomorrow's service. ”Did you speak to Tony before you came up here? Did he tell you about the service?”
”Yes, of course. be right at your side.”
”And Luke? Has Luke called yet?” I asked hopefully.
”You mean, he still hasn't called?” Drake shook his head. ”He told f.a.n.n.y he was going to call. The selfish little--”
”Oh, Drake, I can't believe that of Luke. Please call him yourself. Tony called the dorm and left word and instructions about the service tomorrow, but be sure Luke gets the message, will you? Maybe someone at the dorm is pulling a prank on him and hiding his messages,” I added desperately. What if what Drake was suggesting were true? People change when they leave home, I thought. Maybe all the pressures and hards.h.i.+ps of his life in Winnerrow had finally taken hold and he had decided to throw off all connections with that life, including me!
Oh G.o.d no, I prayed. The world couldn't be that cruel.
”Sure.try to get ahold of him later. Well,” he said, getting up and going to the suitcases, ”here are the things you wanted.”
”I don't have a maid anymore to help put them away. Tony fired Millie.”
”I heard. No problem. I'll hang everything up for you.” He fixed a section in the closet for my things. ”Look at all this. These things were all Heaven's?”
”And my grandmother Leigh's. Tony hasn't thrown out a thing.”
”Some of it still looks new.”
”I know. I'm wearing one of my mother's dresses tomorrow--that black one Florence Farthinggale left hanging in the corner.”
”Florence Farthinggale?” He laughed. ”That's very funny. I gather you two are not forming what we could call a warm patient-nurse relations.h.i.+p?”
”As long as I behave like a lump of clay, we get along fine,” I said sarcastically, and he laughed again. ”Anyway, that's the dress Tony chose.”
”Don't say?” He gazed at it quickly and then finished hanging up my garments. After he was finished, he returned to the bed and sat beside me. He dug into his pockets and took out the two charm bracelets. ”Here they are.”
”Oh, thank you, Drake.”
”Now how are you going to wear them, both on one wrist?”
”I'll alternate days. The days Luke comes, wear his,” I said and ran the tip of my fingers over it softly, lovingly, as though I were running them over Luke's cheek.
”Always the little diplomat.” Drake smiled. ”It's all right; I don't mind,” he said, and then he fixed his eyes on me more intensely than ever. ”When I look at you now, I do see Heaven. I see the warm, loving face that was pressed against mine when I was small and afraid, lonely and lost. I see the love in those blue eyes that gave me comfort just when I needed comfort most in my life. I never told you how good I feel when I'm with you, Annie.”
”I'll always be your friend, Drake. After all, I'm your niece.” Reminding him of our relations.h.i.+p made him wince.
”I know.” He leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek, lingering there the way Tony often did. Then he straightened up.
”Well, I better be going. I have to catch up on some business at the office so that I can take most of tomorrow off, too, now.” He stood up.
”Drake, don't forget about Luke,” I cried.
”Right. Oh, there was one more thing I brought,” he said, reaching into his suit jacket's inside pocket. ”I thought . . somehow, for some reason, one day you might want to get dressed up here. Who knows, maybe Tony will throw a party for you after you've recuperated enough to leave . . . whatever. Anyway, I brought this along.” He took out the black jewelry case that contained the diamond necklace and matching earrings that had belonged to my greatgrandmother Jillian.
”Oh, Drake, you shouldn't have brought that. It's too valuable.”
”So? This place isn't exactly open for grabs, and I knew how much this meant to you. Surely, just having it nearby will bring you some comfort, won't it?” he asked hopefully. I smiled and nodded.
”Yes, I suppose so. I'm sorry. Thank you for thinking of me, Drake. I know I sound selfish and unappreciative sometimes.”
”Oh no, Annie, you are the most selfless person I know. When I think of you, I think of . . of someone pure and beautiful, like brilliant candlelight.” Once again he looked at me intensely. I could say nothing. His words brought a lump into my throat and sent my heart thumping. ”Well,” he finally said, putting the black jewelry case beside me on the bed, ”I'd better get on the road. See you right after lunch tomorrow.”
”Good night, Drake. And thank you for all you've done.”
”Are you kidding, Annie. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. Just remember that.”
He blew me a kiss and then left, quickly a.s.suming the gait of a busy executive with one crisis after another on his mind. I sat back on the pillow chair and looked down at the black jewelry case. Then I opened it and took out the diamond necklace. How it sparkled! The memory of my birthday rose up within Fe and I recalled Mommy's face when she held this necklace out to me. Her eyes were full of such pride and love.
I clutched the necklace to my bosom and thought I felt its warmth, a warmth handed down from her grandmother to her and from her to me. I didn't realize I was crying until the tears fell from my cheeks and splattered like warm drops of summer rain on my chest and bosom. Swallowing hard, I put the necklace back into the case and closed it. Drake was right. It was comforting to have it nearby.
I wiped my face with the back of my hand and looked at the two charm bracelets on the bed. Then I took the smaller but more precious one to me, and put it on my wrist. The sight of it made me smile.
What had Drake said . Aunt f.a.n.n.y was on the gazebo? Luke's and my magical place? Those days seemed so long ago now, the fantasy days. Maybe if I were back there, if they put me on the gazebo, I would lean on Luke's arm and I would suddenly walk again. How the doctor would laugh if I suggested it, but I knew that sometimes a little make-believe can truly be magical. Luke believed it, and when two people believe so strongly in something, it could come true.
Luke. How I needed his comfort, his smile, his optimistic rea.s.surance. More than that, I longed for his lips against my cheek and I remembered each and every time we had kissed, even when we were only small children.
As I thought of him, I embraced myself, imagining him beside me, his fingers twirling my hair, his eyes so close to mine as we gazed longingly at each other, tormented by our desire and our forbidden love at the same time.
Thinking about him this way warmed my body and made it feel alive again. Surely if visions of Luke loving me had such a wonderful effect, it couldn't be all bad, I reasoned. With Luke at my side, I would overcome this tragedy. Fate had placed those everpresent tall mountains in my path, but I would do as Luke always advised--I would go deliberately for the tall ones.
”Because, Annie,” I heard him whisper, ”the view is always better. Go for the tall ones.” tut now Luke seemed the tallest mountain of all.
I looked up at my empty room. I could hear people talking and moving about downstairs. Drake was saying good-bye to someone. A door was closed. A gust of wind whistled through some shutters. And then it was quiet again.
Oh, Luke, I thought, what could possibly be your reason for not moving heaven and earth to see me?
SIXTEEN.
Crippled!
”I have a wonderful surprise for you,” Tony announced. By the way he was standing in the doorway, just off to the side, I thought the surprise would surely be Luke's appearance; but it was something else. ”You're going to have to come out of your room to see it. It's time to start for the cemetery, anyway.”
I turned to Mrs. Broadfield, who was folding the towels she used during my ma.s.sages. Her face was blank and as unmoving as a mask. Yet, still I sensed that she knew what the surprise was.
”Come out?” He nodded, and I started to wheel myself toward the door. I was wearing my mother's black dress and the charm bracelet Luke had given me. Renee, the hairdresser, returned late in the morning to comb out my hair. Mrs. Broadfield had not reduced my morning therapy because of the service to be held at my parents' monument, but either she was right about my growing tolerance and strength or I was just determined not to be tired because of it.