Part 16 (1/2)
Ruth snorted. ”I may be getting old, but I'm not blind. Although at first I did think she was just getting fat.”
”Well, I hadn't noticed,” Angela said with an odd little grimace at the word ”fat.” ”That's great. Congratulations.”
”Yes,” Ruth added somewhat grudgingly. ”Mazel tov. I didn't realize you were married.”
Vivien felt the heat rise in her cheeks. ”I'm not, and according to my ob-gyn it's not actually a requirement.”
”No. But it's a lot better for the children to have two parents,” the older woman replied.
”Yes, well,” Melanie said stiffly. ”That may be. But it doesn't always work out that way.” She slipped an arm around Vivien's waist in a show of solidarity. ”For all sorts of reasons.”
It was Ruth's turn to flush. She was clearly unused to being at odds in any way with Melanie. ”Of course not, but . . .”
”And I don't think any of us need to pa.s.s judgment on the other.”
”Well, of course not, but . . .”
Melanie didn't let Ruth finish. ”Here,” she said as she turned to the boxes and began to open them. ”Let's put the snowflakes up first. That'll be the biggest job, because I want to cover the whole ceiling except the area immediately around the chandeliers.”
The three of them began unpacking the boxes while Melanie went to get the ladder. ”She always protects you,” Ruth said to Vivien. ”No matter what you do. Or don't do.”
”I know,” Vivien said. ”And I know I don't deserve it. But it's kind of amazing, isn't it?”
”I think it's great,” Angela said, her hands overflowing with snowflakes, her expression wistful. ”Both James and I are only children. I, for one, would love to have a sister or brother to run interference for me. Or at least deflect some of my parents' attention.”
Vivien looked at the bride-to-be and wondered, not for the first time, about the mixed signals she sent. She was young and attractive and engaged to the son of a major sports celebrity, yet she hid what appeared to be an above-average figure in clothes at least a size too big and seemed oddly determined not to call attention to herself.
Vivi would have liked to know why, but it wasn't really her business nor did she want to get too personal. She was just pa.s.sing through. Observing and reporting. She shouldn't get any more involved with the people here than a scientist might get with the earthworm he was dissecting.
Parental distance was apparently an alien concept to Ruth Melnick. ”You believe a parent can give too much attention, too much love?”
Vivien looked at Ruth. ”Do you really think love and attention are the same thing? We're debating mother love versus mother attention,” Vivien said when Melanie returned, curious to see whether Melanie, who was not only Caroline's daughter but a mother in her own right, would feel the same as Ruth. ”Ruth thinks they're one and the same. I'm not so sure.”
”Well,” Melanie said. She'd gotten the ladder positioned and was now giving the question serious thought. ”I think everything I direct at Shelby and Trip is out of love and wanting what's best for them, though they probably wouldn't agree. But I know from being our mother's daughter that a lot of things she thought were best for me weren't. And that loving your child doesn't automatically make you right.
”I mean, if I'd listened to Caroline, I never would have married a . . . gasp . . . Republican,” Melanie continued.
”Or chosen to live in the suburbs. Or sent my children to public school, even one as good as Pemberton.” She looked at Vivi. ”And if you had paid the slightest bit of attention to her, you certainly wouldn't have become a network-level investigative reporter living in New York City. But I think in her way she loves us. She just loves us best when we're doing what she thinks is right.”
Vivien was having a hard enough time coming to grips with the idea of becoming a parent without thinking that she might be the kind of parent Caroline was.
”I'll do the hanging if you want to hand the snowflakes up to me,” Angela volunteered.
Still intent on their conversation they formed a chain, sort of like an old-fas.h.i.+oned bucket brigade, but they pa.s.sed gossamer snowflakes on string instead of pails of water.
”My mother has become someone I hardly recognize,” Angela said as she climbed the ladder then reached down for the first snowflake. ”My parents have always been so levelheaded and supportive. Now they're obsessed with the details of the wedding. I know part of it's their relief that I'm actually getting married; the other part is their amazement that I'm marrying Cole Wesley's son. That's how my parents say it, *Our Angela is marrying Cole Wesley's son.' I'm having a hard time believing it myself.”
Angela removed the ceiling tile and hung a snowflake at each corner before replacing it. Then she climbed down to reposition the ladder. ”I mean it's such a big step.”
Melanie offered another snowflake. ”Being married to J.J. was the best thing that ever happened to me,” she said. ”Well, that and having Shelby and Trip. Being a family.” Her eyes glistened. ”There's nothing better than that.
”Don't you agree, Ruth?” Melanie asked.
On the dance floor the couple glided effortlessly while Enrique watched, but they might have been on another planet. Vivien felt like the four of them were an island unto themselves.
”I would have said the same as Melanie when I was her age,” Ruth finally said. ”Even a few years ago, I wouldn't have questioned the life I've had with Ira. Or that we would simply go on like we always have. But now . . .” Her voice trailed off as she seemed to struggle to find the right words. ”Now, well, things are a lot different than I expected.”
They worked until the entire ceiling appeared to s.h.i.+mmer and glow, softening the stark angles of the ballroom.
”I love the snowflakes,” Melanie said as she pulled strands of tiny white lights from one of the boxes. ”Let's put these around the mirrors.”
”Our lives have been so different.” Angela picked up their thread of conversation as they began to frame the mirrored walls with strings of the lights. ”I'd barely been to a professional sporting event before I knew James. Between his dad and his work, sports are pretty much his life. I can't go to everything; I don't even want to. But I hate for him to feel like I'm not interested.”
”What do you think?” Melanie asked once they'd gotten the lights plugged in.
”Festively elegant,” Ruth said and all of them agreed as they considered their collective reflection in the mirror. They were different ages and sizes and, Vivi thought, they had little in common but members.h.i.+p in a dance cla.s.s and their regard for Melanie.
”Well, I'm sure James's feelings for you aren't based on how many games you make it to. Or how you feel about sports.” Again, Melanie was all rea.s.surance, a veritable poster child for love and commitment.
”If you ever can't make it to something, I happen to have a nephew who would love to fill in for you,” Vivien said. ”Don't you think Trip would enjoy going out with James and his father sometime, Mel?”
Melanie blushed and shot Vivi a look. ”We wouldn't want to put the Wesleys on the spot, Vivi. I'm sure they . . .”
”No, I'm sure James and Cole would enjoy having him along,” Angela said. ”I'll check and see what's coming up.”
Melanie raised a warning eyebrow at her sister as she thanked Angela. ”We need to finish up,” she said. ”There's Naranya and Lourdes. It's almost time for cla.s.s.”
They began to move more quickly then, doing more decorating and less talking.
”You never did say when you're due,” Angela said as they tidied up and prepared to join the others. ”And I don't know how to tell by looking.”
”Around the twelfth of April.” Vivien gulped. Just saying the date aloud made it so much more real.
”That's just a week before the wedding,” Angela said, also gulping. Her face did not reflect unadulterated joy. ”I guess it's going to be a big month.”
Vivien just nodded her head. But what she was really thinking was that her due date was now barely four months away. There was a decisive movement in her belly and as her hand flew to the spot, she had the thought that the baby wasn't any happier about that than she was.
”So I suppose that's actually why you're here. To have your baby,” Ruth muttered under her breath as they moved into their places in front of the now-twinkly mirror.
If she'd said it louder, Vivien might have felt compelled to argue with her. But now as she weighed the accusation, Vivi realized that it was true. She'd told herself she was here to research and write her column, pretended-even to herself-that she didn't actually need anything from her sister or her parents. But that was just a great big rationalization. Once again Ruth Melnick was right about her, she thought after the s.h.i.+pley sisters and Sally arrived and they stretched out into two ragged lines. When Vivien had found herself unemployed and pregnant, she hadn't turned to Stone or drawn strength from her own life; she'd thrown up her hands and come running home to her family.
Her lack of self-awareness might have been comical if it hadn't been so pathetic.
Vivien sighed as they began to stretch. Following Naranya was not as difficult now, so she could actually think even as her body moved. For someone who'd always hunted for and demanded answers, it was amazing how many she'd allowed herself to sidestep. Lying to others was bad. Lying to yourself was infinitely worse.
The kids were already up in their rooms when they got back to Melanie's. Tired and out of sorts, Vivien hugged her sister good night and went up to her room. Logging on to her email account, she spotted an email from Stone and hesitated; just the sight of his name in her inbox dredged up a mixture of guilt and longing that practically paralyzed her. Bracing herself, she clicked it open. The email was short and carried none of the probing questions or recriminations she knew she deserved. Her relief at being let off the hook made her feel even worse.