Part 18 (1/2)
”I know all about it,” I said; ”may I tell you how it all was,--diagnose the situation?”
”Do,” he replied; ”it is a relief to hear you talk.”
”Well,” I said, ”may I ask one rather intimate question? Did you ever before you were married sow what are known as wild oats?”
”Never,” he answered indignantly, flas.h.i.+ng for a moment.
”Well, you should have done,” I said; ”that's just the whole trouble.
Wild oats will get sown some time, and one of the arts of life is to sow them at the right time,--the younger the better. Think candidly before you answer me.”
”I believe you are right,” he replied, after a long pause.
”You are a believer in theories,” I continued, ”and so am I; but you can take my word that on these matters not all, but some, of the old theories are best. One of them is that the man who does not sow his wild oats before marriage will sow them afterwards, with a whirlwind for the reaping.”
Orlando looked up at me, haggard with confession.
”You know the old story of the ring given to Venus? Well, it is the ruin of no few men to meet Venus for the first time on their marriage night. Their very chast.i.ty, paradoxical as it may seem, is their destruction. No one can appreciate the peace, the holy satisfaction of monogamy till he has pa.s.sed through the wasting distractions, the unrest of polygamy. Plunged right away into monogamy, man, unexperienced in his good fortune, hankers after polygamy, as the monotheistic Jew hankered after polytheism; and thus the monogamic young man too often meets Aphrodite for the first time, and makes future appointments with her, in the arms of his pure young wife. If you have read Swedenborg, you will remember his denunciation of the l.u.s.t of variety. Now, that is a l.u.s.t every young man feels, but it is one to be satisfied before marriage. Sylvia Joy has been such a variant for you; and I'm afraid you're going to have some little trouble to get her off your nerves. Tell me frankly,” I said, ”have you had your fill of Aphrodite? It is no use your going back to your wife till you have had that.”
”I'm not quite a beast,” he retorted. ”After all, it was an experiment we both agreed to try.”
”Certainly,” I answered, ”and I hope it may have the result of persuading you of the unwisdom of experimenting with happiness. You have the realities of happiness; why should you trouble about its theories? They are for unhappy people, like me, who must learn to distil by learned patience the aurum potabile from the husks of life, the peace which happier mortals find lying like manna each morn upon the meadows.”
”Well,” I continued, ”enough of the abstract; let us have another drink, and tell me what you propose to do.”
”Poor Sylvia!” sighed Orlando.
”Shall I tell you about Sylvia?” I said. ”On second thoughts, I won't.
It would hardly be fair play; but this, I may say, relying on your honour, that if you were to come to my hotel, I could show you indisputable proof that I know at least as much about Sylvia Joy as even such a privileged intimate as yourself.”
”It is strange, then, that she never recognised you just now,” he retorted, with forlorn alertness.
”Of course she didn't. How young you are! It is rather too bad of a woman of Sylvia's experience.”
”And I've bought our pa.s.sages for to-morrow. I cannot let her go without some sort of good-bye.”
”Give the tickets to me. I can make use of them. How much are they?
Let's see.”
The calculation made and the money pa.s.sed across, I said abruptly,--
”Now supposing we go and see your wife.”
”You have saved my life,” he said hoa.r.s.ely, pressing my hand as we rose.
”I don't know about that,” I said inwardly; ”but I do hope I have saved your wife.”
As I thought of that, a fear occurred to me.
”Look here,” I said, as we strolled towards the Twelve Golden-Haired, ”I hope you have no silly notions about confession, about telling the literal truth and so on. Because I want you to promise me that you will lie stoutly to your wife about Sylvia Joy. You must swear the whole thing has been platonic. It's the only chance for your happiness.