134 Paranoid (1/2)

Once everything was placed away, Li Xueyue walked towards the spot where she left the diary. She was uncertain if she should continue to probe into someone else's life, but her curiosity was killing her. What if there was something she could discover from the diary? What if she could learn vital information?

Li Xueyue bit her bottom lip and decided to finally give it another reading. Taking the book out of its hidden spot, she carried it and walked towards her door, locked it, and settled on a low chair before a table.

”Here goes nothing,” she murmured out loud, flipping the pages until she reached the page she last stopped at.

Her brows were scrunched together upon realizing that the date of the next entry had skipped three months ahead. What was going on? She flipped through the pages and realized it wasn't her mistake.

'You might be wondering why I haven't talked to you in so long, diary. You're my best friend and the person I share my secrets with, but I found myself a few friends! Can you believe that? Well, I wouldn't call them my friends, since one of them is already my cousin to begin with, and the other… well, we're in love.'

Li Xueyue slowly blinked. ”Cousin? Is this from the Duke's side or the Duchess?” Her thoughts spiraled to the Imperial Family. Who was Li Minghua in love with? She felt like she was practically close to discovering something she'd never believe.

'I think Father is using me.'

Li Xueyue's eyes widened in disbelief at the next entry.

”The Duke…? Using his own daughter? What?” she whispered to herself, flipping the page back and forth.

Li Xueyue realized this was the only line in the entry the day after. She continued reading on to the next entry, which was dated a week later.

'That was such a paranoid confession, diary, I'm sorry. It's just… my cousin doesn't think I should be locked in my own house like this. He thinks my father is using me to gain more power, believing he can wed me off to someone beneficial, but Father would never do such a thing. Right? Well, I'm not so sure…

My cousin says he only has my best interest in mind. He cherishes me. He said I'm too precious to be used. I wish I got to know him better, he's always so kind to me, but I sometimes find it weird how intimate he is with me. For example, he likes to hold my hand when we walk around at night and only let it go when my lover shows up at the meeting spot.

He says it's to keep me safe.

Maybe I'm just paranoid.

My lover is worried that my father would have another boy in mind for marriage. He said he's not the heir in his family, thus, my father won't approve of him, but he still comes from a reputable family. He's in the military and is quickly skyrocketing in the ranks!

I think he might become a very reputable soldier, one who would go down in history as a hero! Can you imagine that diary? If I wed him, I'd become the wife of a military hero. People will know my name thousands of years from now!'

Li Xueyue felt her heart quicken at the realization that was beginning to dawn onto her. She felt like she was almost there, that the pieces of the puzzle were coming together to form a picture she would not like. She let out a shaky breath.

”T-there's no way this would happen… it's too much of a coincidence,” Li Xueyue comforted herself, but she had a suspicion that it wasn't. She didn't want to read on anymore, ignorance was bliss, but her curiosity killed her. She flipped to the next entry, dated three weeks later.

'My lover showed up at my door with flowers and gifts. Wenmin was furious, but he's just a dimwit, so I didn't care. Chenyang was repulsed, thinking I was fooling around when I snuck out. Me, fooling around? As if! He thinks I'm chasing boys, but does the egg chase the sperm? I think not!

Father was calm. I knew it, he didn't care about me at all! He didn't even ask how I found a man when I was locked away for so long.

Father only talked to my suitor in his public study, and when they came out, I knew my cousin was right all along: My father is using me.

Father berated my suitor about his wealth, ranking, status, and what benefit the Li Family would have if I were to wed him. Father only wanted to use me for more power than he already had. Isn't it enough? He's already the Prime Minister!'

Li Xueyue felt her heart quicken. ”Was Duke Li Shenyang really using his daughter for power? Or was Li Minghua simply too irritated by the restrictive measures placed on top of her?” she asked out loud.

”Who was this cousin she kept on talking about?” She huffed, her eyes narrowing.

Li Minghua didn't seem like she had anyone to talk to, and with only one source of information, it'd be too easy to trick her.