Part 29 (1/2)
Faith ran to the door and shut and locked it. Her throat was throbbing with suppressed sobs and her lips shook.
She had been so fond of Peg. She had looked up to her and admired her, but to-night she could find it in her heart to hate her for her handsome beauty and insolence.
She, too, had seen the look of admiration in Forrester's eyes, and a little sick suspicion rose above the angry tumult of her heart.
Supposing he really did like Peg? Supposing he more than liked her? She was handsome enough to take any man's fancy, and Faith knew how badly Forrester had suffered over the disappointment of his marriage.
A hundred little incidents came crowding back to her mind, cruelly magnified. The way he invariably chose to talk to Peg in preference to herself. The way he had elected to sit with her at the back of the car that afternoon, though she had offered to change places. The way he had overruled her objections with regard to Peg's gaudy choice of decoration when first they came to the house.
”What does it matter if it pleases her?” he had said, in his careless way. ”I like to see her happy.”
She had thought nothing of it at the time, but it seemed a great matter now. And at the memory of Peg's crude accusation the blood rushed stingingly to Faith's pale cheeks.
”I'm not jealous! How dare she say so? I hate her--I hate her!”
She spoke the words in a whisper through the silent room and the bitter sound of them frightened her.
Hate Peg! Oh, no, she did not mean that. Peg had been a good friend to her--Peg had never failed.
Faith tried hard to recover her composure and look at things more sensibly.
After all, what had happened? Little enough, she knew, but she could not forget the picture Peg had made during those moments on the landing or the look of admiration in the Beggar Man's eyes.
She had felt herself colourless and insignificant beside Peg, and her soul writhed as she recalled the mocking, nervous words that the elder girl had spoken.
”It's like a bit out of a novelette, isn't it?... Heroine opens her door and finds her best friend talking to her husband, _tete-a-tete_, as it were.”
Though she knew that Peg had meant no harm, and though she had heard her say similar things scores of times before, to-night somehow the words grated deeply on Faith's sensitiveness.
It was as if someone had held up a scorching light in front of her friend, showing just how rough and unrefined she really was and could be.
Faith remembered how, not so long ago, Forrester had told her that he wished her friends.h.i.+p with Peg to cease. Did he wish it still?
She lay awake for hours, turning things over in her mind, torturing herself with doubts and perplexities.
It was not that she cared for him at all, so she told herself again and again. It was just that it was so horrible to think that perhaps he and Peg ... and then once more her better nature came uppermost. How could she think such base things? How dared she? Peg was her best friend, had proved herself in a thousand ways, and Forrester--when had he ever been anything but kind and considerate?
She was bound to admit that last truth now, though for weeks she had tried to hate him, and had blamed him for the death of both her parents.
She turned the pillow over and tried to sleep.
”I don't care. I wish I could be free. I don't care,” she told herself, but when at last she fell asleep it was to dream of her husband as he had been during the first days of their acquaintance; to dream of the kindliness of his eyes and the clasp of his hand, and her own feeling of warmth and grat.i.tude towards him.
She woke in the morning unrefreshed, and with a bad headache. She dreaded meeting Peg, but she need not have done, for Peg greeted her as if nothing had happened, with a kiss and her usual cheery, ”Hullo, Faith! Had a bad night? You look pale enough.”
”I had a very good night,” Faith answered emphatically. ”And I'm ever so hungry.”
But at breakfast she ate nothing, and Digby watched her with concerned eyes.
”We've rushed you about too much lately,” he said. ”You're not strong like Miss Fraser.”