20 7.4: Seven Deadly Riddles- Part Two (1/2)

`tell them I was the warmest place you knew and you turned me cold`

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3. Nothing shakes one's core as much as a platform full of bores- $1500

Tobias and I unplugged the phone from the charger and are sitting on chairs, in the now-empty teachers' staffroom. Tobias has Benji on the ground but holds him with his leash as he roams around us. The phone is in my hands with Tobias staring at the screen over my shoulder.

”I genuinely have no clue what those riddles mean-” Tobias says hesitantly. ”I mean, they were crafted for a Megamind. I suppose half of that money is for interpreting what they're saying-”

I ignore him and scroll through the pictures of, apparently, a new Facebook account with the name 'Rose Is Cancelled'. I smirk bitterly at the profile picture of me barfing in a toilet seat with Sierra bending over and holding my hair, and I wonder again about who took such a picture.

”I can't believe none of your close friends found this account-” Tobias says distastefully.

”She obviously chose all the 'right' sort of people who'd enjoy such an account to add as friends-” I say as I stare more at the black background and profile pictures. ”It's a private account. Besides, the profile picture isn't that clear-” I say solidly, drowning my feelings as much as I can. ”Not anyone can recognize us-” I say, referring to Sierra and me.

Scrolling further down, pictures of the list of friends who can view the profile are attached. There are profiles of some people I know and some I don't. All in all, I can't believe anyone would grant anyone almost two thousand bucks for making a fake Facebook account. And I can't believe that she has 'fans', actual human beings who left hundreds of comments about how 'excited' they're to see how this turns out.

”People make me sick-” I grimace and select the return button. I then turn to Tobias with a tremulous smile. ”Maybe you were right after all-” I say. ”Maybe she actually posted some disgracing pictures of me-”

”I hope not-” He says quickly and I sigh, selecting the fourth segment with a heavy heart.

4. The smart only believe, when their eyes can't deceive- $2000

”Yup,” I tell the screen. ”Definitely pictures of me-” I suck in my inner cheek and tap my right foot in immense disappointment, confusion, tiredness, anger and misery, all together.

There are fifty attached pictures and even though I'd hate to see them stare back at me as living evidence of my best friend's treachery, I open them and pour vinegar in my wound.

I scroll down to obviously find my picture with cocaine on my face, find pictures of myself in my bathrobe, pictures of my boobs in my bra, pictures of my bareback taken from a window, pictures of me sleeping in the middle of the night and etc. They're all so private and personal, it truly guts me. I can't believe Sierra dared to post them.

I can't believe how she has grown so ruthless, how she has so easily thrown me out to the wolves. And really there's nothing to say.

Tobias is sitting very still, almost not breathing beside me and I glance at him, wondering what he thinks of me. If he's judging me and my heart that has chosen the very worst person on Earth to love and trust. If he thinks I'm stupid and blind. If he blames my heart for my suicide.

”She's a vermin-” He spits out with so much anger, all of a sudden, it catches me off guard. ”She's literally the devil reincarnated-” He blabbers on. ”There'd be no more fit homo sapien for being the antichrist. She's the epitome of evil and she probably farts poisonous gas-”

My stare lingers a bit before a hesitant smile bursts from my deeply bitten lips. I gaze into his twinkling, teary eyes and wonder if they're always so prone to crying. I contemplate the horror pasted on his face as he said those repulsive words in my defence, and it could be enough to numb my feelings for a while as my smile turns into a brittle grin and my grin into an echoing, wannabe chuckle.

Tobias doesn't laugh along but he seems deeply satisfied that he has somehow taken me out of my sulking mood even if it's for a second. And really, I can see the effort he's making to help me out and it means so much to me, I can't even stop the cascade of tears that drop on my hand's back. His smile slips and he knits his brows.

”Why are you weeping again?” He asks softly, gently, like I'm broken glass precariously fixed with glue, waiting for the wrong push to shatter all over again.

”It's just that-” I breathe out and can't believe I'm capable of getting such care from a dead soul when I failed at getting it from a living one. ”It's just that I think we're way past forced acquaintance, Tobias-” I settle for a small, crying smile. ”Can you believe it?”

Tobias doesn't say anything, doesn't smile despite his grinning eyes, and I sniff loudly before returning to the seven sections screen and selecting the fifth one.

5. They say there's no smoke without a fire, we say there's no fire without the matches- $2500

”Rumours-” Tobias whispers, almost in disbelief after he's read the sub-challenge and I silently scroll down. Benji struts in circles around my feet, and I kinda hope something would happen that'd disable me from using this heartbreaker machine cradled in my cold hands.

But of course, hell is not meant to be a wish-granting factory.

Just like the previous sub-challenges, this has attached media files, ten of them, which are basically screenshots of Facebook posts, spreading rumours about me. And needless to say, those rumours only add fuel to the fire my inappropriate pictures raged.

They're rumours about how I'm full of shit, how I'm a junkie amongst 'angels', how I'm fake, a wannabe, how I have secret affairs, how I'm not even straight, how I'm a slut, a freak, a whore, and a lot of other amazing insults and accusations that aren't even half true.

And despite how disheartening this all is, it certainly explains my utter confusion when I first heard some of those rumours among my classmates. I was so perplexed, upset as to what gave them such notions. About what inspired such wide-spread ideas and finger-pointing. About what I could've done to cause this.

And that was when I started blaming myself for it all. I thought I must've made some mistake, I must've upset some social balance, I must've made this one mistake that was lost from me, that slipped. And that was what triggered my anxiety.

That's how I thoroughly ruined my life. How I became very vigilant, watching myself, my actions through the social lens of a microscope, designed by the standards of what people thought was appropriate and acceptable. That's how my steady hands became shaky, how my strong eyes weakened and became almost always attracted to gravity, looking at the ground like it has some answer for what the hell was happening, how my breaths stop being long enough and fulfilling, how my lungs and heart welcomed panic attacks like a long lost friend.

So, yes, people's hushed conversations that followed, when I passed by them, wearing an innocent, clueless smile, are no longer a mystery to me. I now know their content, the reasons behind their quick glances that they thought I wouldn't notice. I now understand why people might've looked at me differently.

And it truly hurts me to know that people know the dangers that such a Facebook account can pose. It hurts me that they'd hate to be in my place, with their most intimate, embarrassing pictures posted all over the internet, for everyone's eyes, good or bad, without their consent, leaked with stinky rumours. It hurts to know that they knew and did nothing to stop it.

And I hate them for letting me become the drama they were starving for; thus taking no action. And it's too late to resent them. It's too late to take action, to deliver speeches about the atrocity of my situation, to raise awareness about how this all might happen again for another clueless, helpless victim who might end their lives just like I easily did.

I mean hell, don't come at me with how I 'shouldn't' have ended my life when I felt like I was waging a war against myself every day of my life because of mistakes I've never committed.

”Todd wasn't even half as bad as Sierra-” Tobias whispers from my side.

”I don't think anyone can reach her level of...viciousness-” I say.

”Viciousness-” Tobias repeats. ”Nice ridiculous word-” I glance at him and he's grinning. ”I noticed how you prefer using such words when you're provoked-”

”Yeah, have someone spread ill rumours about you- and wait, not just anyone- your best friend-” I say, staring at the phone. ”I don't think whatever you'll say matters-” I tell him dejectedly. ”Nothing- no words will be fit to explain how I feel, no matter how much I need to explain myself-” I look up at him with a small sigh. ”How I need to explain myself to myself mainly. I need to grasp my emotions in my hands, talk to each and every one of them to understand them.” I sigh. ”I've just been all over the place lately-”

”You've been all over the place?” Tobias repeats and I click my tongue as I dreamily gaze at him.