9 3.4: Helium Ballons (2/2)
Tobias' lips are a perfect 'o'.
”You've watched live porn!”
”That's not-”
”Back in my times, there were mainly magazines. We weren't rich enough for TVs-” He says animatedly, and I smirk.
”Out of everything that happened to you, that's the thing you get to tell me-” I smile despite myself and shake my head incredulously.
”Well, it's quite surprising. And it would've been fascinating to watch because I died a virgin-” He chuckles to himself. ”A seventeen-year-old virgin.”
”No way!” My eyes widen and I chuckle. ”I mean I could tell you were a loser but not a virgin-”
”Well, that's what you think-” His smile weakens, and he shrugs. ”It's okay, it never bothered me much-”
”Seriously? I mean, if you attended my school, you'd be bullied by lots-” I tell him honestly.
”I attended an all-boys boarding school-” He smiles sheepishly. ”We were mostly virgins.”
”Oh-”
”Yeah-” He shrugs. ”They were great times-” He smiles. ”I loved my friends. And teachers-”
”Ha, it's like we're opposites-”
”So-” He lifts his brow. ”When was your first time?”
I shake my head. ”You seriously have no filter-”
”Look who's talking-” He smiles. ”Besides, filters are for the living. I shall tell no one. Dead Losers Honor-”
”What?” I frown and smile at the same time. ”What's that?”
”My word-” He says and picks up his eyes to stare. ”Look, this is literally the Dead Losers Society-”
”Dead Losers Society-” I smile. ”I like that-”
”You shouldn't-” Tobias counters.
”I don't, obviously-”
”So? When was it?” He asks again curiously, and I shake my head.
”Well, you happen to be right-” I shrug. ”If I were alive I wouldn't go around saying this, but we're dead so fuck that, yeah?”
”Aha-”
”This year. In the beginning, before I broke up with Joshua-” I say. ”In his father's van-”
”Wow-” He says.
”Not wow-” I chuckle lightly. ”Because his dad caught us-”
”That's unfortunate-”
”Yeah, I know-” I smile to myself. ”It was funny, but it was okay because he was drunk. He opened the van, saw us, then closed it with thumbs up-”
”That's insane-”
”It is. But he's a terrible person-”
”I mean if he lets his van be a hookup place, then yeah-” He smirks. ”He's horrible.”
”He's abusive-”
”Oh-”
”Yeah, I just knew that-” I shrug, looking down. ”He abuses Joshua-”
”Judas, huh?”
I shake my head. ”Yeah, yeah-”
”You still...like him?”
”No-” I shake my head and wave my hand. ”No-”
”Alright, easy-” Tobias tilts his head with a small smile. ”You're getting all defensive-”
”I-uh-” I shake my head and opt for the most famous answer. ”It's complicated-”
”I figured-” He sighs. ”So...which 'dimension' hurt you most? Mine was my best friend's-”
My lips part and I lift my eyebrows. ”Same!”
”No way-” Tobias exclaims.
”She didn't even cry!” I complain to him. ”And she continued fucking my other best friend-”
”Oh-”
”It hurt, but I hope I'm just making assumptions-” I tell him, and he nods slowly.
”I hope you're not making excuses-” He says slowly. ”Like I did-”
I stare at his wide, honest eyes, and feel somehow assured. And safe.
”What happened?” I ask, clearing my head.
”I left a goodbye letter to him-” He says. ”It has my apologies for everyone and all the... explanations-” He blinks. ”Todd just ripped the letter. Made everyone think they were worthless of an explanation. I watched him die with the truth. Turned out he envied people's love to me-”
”Oh, that sucks-” I say. ”But I mean, I didn't even write a letter-”
”It's different, you know-” He says slowly. ”I didn't kill myself because people hated me. I killed myself for...for different reasons-” He averts his gaze, fidgets with his fingers. ”I-I loved my life-” He blinks. ”I loved everyone. I left them a letter to explain my weakness-”
”What?” I ask curiously. ”What is your weakness?”
Tobias smiles wistfully. ”Well, to know that, we have to upgrade from 'forced' acquaintance to 'enjoyable' acquaintance.”
I smirk, shaking my head. ”You're right-”
”Yeah, at least, this secret is gonna keep you motivated to start being nice-” He says.
”I told you how I lost my virginity-”
”That's not being nice-”
I scoff. ”That's the highest degree of possible niceness and decency-”
”Alright, I believe you, but let's leave that for later-”
”Alright, whatever-” I say, slightly disappointed, but I, of course, won't push it.
A long pause.
”So, should I go now?” He asks with an evil smirk.
”You do know that you're not addictive, right?” I ask rhetorically. ”You do know I won't sob for you to stay?”
”It's only a matter of time. You hate being alone. We all do. Let your ego down this one time. You need me-” He says and I can't help smiling.
”Well, it's your lucky day today because I am feeling very dead and lonely-” I tell him with a small smile. ”You may stay-”
”It's an honour, your majesty-”
”Shut up-”
”I'll be accompanying you wherever you go-”
My eyes widen. ”You wish-”
”I'm annoying and you know it. If you keep rejecting me, I'll just stick to your side 24/7 until, out of extreme exasperation, you'd let me go with you. Now, question is-” He leans in. ”-do you want to reach that level?” He asks me with a raised brow and an effortless smile.
”No-” I reply dully.
”Good. I'll be by your side wherever-” He smiles. ”I won't tell anyone. Dead Losers Honor.”
”You have no one to tell...loser-”
”My point!” He exclaims, and I sigh with a small smile. ”Nothing to fear-”
”Alright, whatever, you're in-” I shrug. ”Next stop is my funeral for sure-”
”Exciting-”
”According to Dead Losers Society? Yeah-”
And just like that Tobias' eyes twinkled, and my non-existent heart paused.