6 3.1: Alone (1/2)

~WE SEE WHAT WE WANT~

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I blink in the darkness before Tobias' light blinds me.

I purse my lips unpleasantly and squint at him, and his stupid red waves for hair. ”What are we now? Bound together forever?”

”You're very unpleasant-” He says with a smirk. ”I just don't think anyone would like to be left alone in this darkness.”

”Well, what now?” I say irritably. ”You'll accompany me every time God or whoever calls on me to get me 'punished'?”

”If you want t-”

”No, I don't,” I snap, and narrow my eyes at him. He looks unamused as he crosses his arms across his chest. ”Besides, don't you have your own drama to catch up with?”

”I mean, after thirty cycles, it isn't as frequent-” He says, his upper lip quirked up, and his hazel eyes bright. ”Besides, I think that it's quite cool that we can interact this way-” He steps closer to me as he enthusiastically explains himself. ”I mean, you can drag me in your world, and I can drag you in mine. I never knew that could happen-”

”Yeah, I bet I'm giving you a ten out of ten, live drama show,” I deadpan. ”This is not cool-” His smirk falls as he notices how serious I am. And I really am. This is very personal, and not any idiotic red-head should be allowed to intervene in any way. This is my secret. My punishment. My story. And that's all it'll ever be.

”This isn't some stupid game-” I continue. ”I don't know where the hell I am, and what the hell I'm doing. And yeah, I get it, you want to help, and shit-” I shake my head. ”Well, you tried, but I don't think this is some teamwork project. This is the kinda shit in which too many cooks spoil the broth kinda shit. I really respect my privacy, and I do not want you with me.”

When I'm done ranting at a motionless, stunned Tobias, I feel much better. It's like all the frustration that has been building up inside of me has finally left. I am obviously still worked up about how I'll spend an eternity watching myself as a memory that's worthy or unworthy of remembrance.

I know it'll hurt me by the rate things are going. Aiden's, and Jacob's reactions were enough to make me feel like a gasping fish out of the water, and like a giraffe with a short neck. Yes, it made me so very uncomfortable.

So I, naturally, am so angry at how at ease Tobias is. I mean, yeah, we get it, he spent thirty years or cycles or whatever here. I did not. I do not know what's really waiting for me. But all I wish for is that I never get to regret killing myself. Because I am sure it was the right choice.

Neither my parents nor my siblings cared about me except for when I've literally disappeared out of their lives. I didn't understand their reactions. I was always the third wheel whenever Sierra, Mason (my 'best friends'), and I hung out together. Which was fine, because I thought they caught feelings for each other. That was until they completely stopped caring about me. No-one cared to see why I was sad the day Joshua 'ditched' me as Tobias would put it. They didn't even notice my swollen eyes even though some other people I wasn't close to did.

All that hurt me and made me feel so very lonely. Combine that with my siblings-induced, and my Joshua-inspired anxiety. My siblings were much more popular and smarter than I ever was. Or at least that was what my parents thought, and never minded being vocal about. And of course, that douchebag whom I loved (I actually, truly loved him) since freshman year, and dated for two years. He was all sweet in the beginning until he showed all the ass he got in his personality.

So I was insecure about my intellect, social status, and beauty- which is pretty much my whole life. So yeah, you tell me, what's the point of living in a world that brought me to hate me?

”Girl! Lady-!” Tobias' thick voice comes, awakening me from my little, quite frequent, self-loathing episode I just had.

”Huh?”

”I thought you were gone for a second-”He let out a breath with a small smile.

”Gone where?”

”Out of the Darkoom-” He responds. ”Back to your 'drama'-”

”I would've 'apparated' then-” I say boredly.

”Yeah, I thought so too-” He shifts, and pulls down on his oversized bear shirt, which I guess gave him a big, social boo. ”Can I ask you a question?”

”Yeah, as long as I won't be seeing your face again till the end of time or whatever-”

”You are very rude-” He says. ”I've never quite met someone like you-”

”Is that a question?”

”What's your name?”

”What's your business?”

”Would you rather me call you 'Lady' like an idiot? It's what I call you in my head-” He frowns slightly, and I blink at him.

”Yeah. That's if you'd ever need to call me.”

”I'm the closest thing to friend you got here-” He says, his shoulders slumping a little. I narrow my eyes at his disappointed expression and sigh.

”I'm sorry, but I really need to spend some time alone,” I try saying decently. ”I thought you'd understand.”

”Yeah, I guess-” He starts backing away with pursed lips, and cast down eyes. ”I'll -uh-” He hooks his thumb, and points behind him as he looks up at me with a small smile. ”I'll be hanging around somewhere. Just call my name, I guess. If you're lucky I'll be here, not in my 'drama'-”

”Yeah, thanks-” I smirk.

”If I need you, I'll call out 'Lady', okay?” He says, locking my eyes as if to ensure that I understood. ”Don't be weirded out or anything. It's like our code-”

”What if there's another one like you?” I ask him bemusedly, and he lifts his brows.

”Another 'Tobias'? Good question-” He further backs away from me, pointing both his index fingers at me. His light is fading away by the viscous, throbbing darkness of the 'Darkoom'. ”I guess use your charm. Show them the rude. It'll scare any normal person away.”

My smirk turns into a smile. ”So you're not normal?”

He stops moving back when his light is too faint to make out his facial expressions, but just enough to see his khaki shorts and unlaced shoelaces of some 90's trainers.

”I don't think any of us are normal darlin'-” He yells from a distance.”I think we're dumb losers who finally want our voice heard in a soulless world. Which is dumb, because what's the point of just impressing losers like you? So, normal?” His faint chuckles echo. ”Nah.”

I smirk at his response and shake my head. He is right through and through. When he's completely gone, engulfed by the darkness, I sigh heavily. Now it is me, that stupid Darkoom, and the consequences of my actions to deal with.

Along with the memory of a stupid red-head.

...............

It's more like a blink of an eye or maybe even less than that. Probably less than that. I mean I wouldn't even be given the luxury of the time it takes for my eyelid muscles to contract, and relax. I am not even worth that. I am thrown right off into the punishment.

And no, I'm not in my mansion. Thank God.

I'm at Sierra's place. And to get into the specifics, I am in her rather modern, tiny, dim-lit room, staring at her make out with Mason. They are sitting on the bed, Sierra in a short, simple, red dress (maybe they were out on a date without telling me?) with Mason's hand up her thigh. Mason links their fingers together, and I roll my eyes.

So what now? Watching my best friends fuck is my new punishment?