Part 41 (1/2)
”It's a hole in the ground!”
”It certainly is.”
”And the only people we know there are the Jimmy Lakes, whom I detest.”
”I can't bear them.”
”And, George, there are _burglars_!”
”Yes, my dear,” I said triumphantly, ”heaven be praised there _are_ burglars!”
Clara looked at me. She is very quick.
”You are thinking of the silver.”
”Of all the silver.”
”But, George, can we afford it?”
”Afford what?”
”To have the silver stolen.”
”Supposing there was a burglar insurance, as a reward.”
The next moment Clara was laughing in my arms.
”Oh, George, you are a wonderful, brilliant man: how did you ever think of it?”
”I just put my mind to it,” I said loftily.
IV
We went to Lone Tree, New Jersey. We went there early to meet the migratory spring burglar. We released from storage two chests and three barrels of solid silver wedding presents, took out a burglar insurance for three thousand dollars and proceeded to decorate the dining-room and parlor.
”It looks rather--rather nouveau riche,” said Clara, surveying the result.
”My dear, say the word--it is vulgar. But what of that? We have come here for a purpose and we will not be balked. Our object is to offer every facility to the gentlemen who will relieve us of our silver.
Nothing concealed, nothing screwed to the floor.”
”I think,” said Clara, ”that the champagne coolers are unnecessary.”
The solid silver champagne coolers adorned either side of the fireplace.
”As receptacles for potted ferns they are, it is true, not quite in the best of taste,” I admitted. ”We might leave them in the hall for umbrellas and canes. But then they might be overlooked, and we must take no chances on a careless burglar.”
Clara sat down and began to laugh, which I confess was quite the natural thing to do. Solid silver bread dishes holding sweet peas, individual almond dishes filled with matches, silver baskets for cigars and cigarettes crowded the room, with silver candlesticks sprouting from every ledge and table. The dining-room was worse--but then solid silver terrapin dishes and m.u.f.fineers, not to mention the two dozen almond dishes left over from the parlor, are not at all appropriate decorations.