Part 82 (2/2)
”You need brightening, you old dry-as-dust philanthropist, sitting poring over stupid ma.n.u.scripts when you ought to be in the country enjoying the suns.h.i.+ne.” She spoke in airy accents, with an undercurrent of astonishment at her attack of high spirits on an occasion she had designed to be harrowing.
”Why, I haven't _looked_ at your ma.n.u.script yet,” he retorted gaily, but as he spoke there flashed upon him a delectable vision of blue sea and waving pines with one fair wood-nymph flitting through the trees, luring him on from this musty cell of never-ending work to unknown ecstasies of youth and joyousness. The leafy avenues were bathed in sacred sunlight, and a low magic music thrilled through the quiet air. It was but the dream of a second--the dingy walls closed round him again, the great ugly steamer, that never went anywhere, sailed on. But the wood-nymph did not vanish; the sunbeam was still on the editorial chair, lighting up the little face with a celestial halo. And when she spoke again, it was as if the music that filled the visionary glades was a reality, too.
”It's all very well your treating reproof as a jest,” she said, more gravely. ”Can't you see that it's false economy to risk a break-down even if you use yourself purely for others? You're looking far from well. You are overtaxing human strength. Come now, admit my sermon is just. Remember I speak not as a Pharisee, but as one who made the mistake herself--a fellow-sinner.” She turned her dark eyes reproachfully upon him.
”I--I--don't sleep very well,” he admitted, ”but otherwise I a.s.sure you I feel all right.”
It was the second time she had manifested concern for his health. The blood coursed deliciously in his veins; a thrill ran through his whole form. The gentle anxious face seemed to grow angelic. Could she really care if his health gave way? Again he felt a rash of self-pity that filled his eyes with tears. He was grateful to her for sharing his sense of the empty cheerlessness of his existence. He wondered why it had seemed so full and cheery just before.
”And you used to sleep so well,” said Esther, slily, remembering Addie's domestic revelations. ”My stupid ma.n.u.script should come in useful.”
”Oh, forgive my stupid joke!” he said remorsefully.
”Forgive mine!” she answered. ”Sleeplessness is too terrible to joke about. Again I speak as one who knows.”
”Oh, I'm sorry to hear that!” he said, his egoistic tenderness instantly transformed to compa.s.sionate solicitude.
”Never mind me; I am a woman and can take care of myself. Why don't you go over to Norway and join Mr. Graham?”
”That's quite out of the question,” he said, puffing furiously at his pipe. ”I can't leave the paper.”
”Oh, men always say that. Haven't you let your pipe go out? I don't see any smoke.”
He started and laughed. ”Yes, there's no more tobacco in it.” He laid it down.
”No, I insist on your going on or else I shall feel uncomfortable.
Where's your pouch?”
He felt all over his pockets. ”It must be on the table.”
She rummaged among the ma.s.s of papers. ”Ha! There are your scissors'”
she said scornfully, turning them up. She found the pouch in time and handed it to him. ”I ought to have the management of this office for a day,” she remarked again.
”Well, fill my pipe for me,” he said, with an audacious inspiration. He felt an unreasoning impulse to touch her hand, to smooth her soft cheek with his fingers and press her eyelids down over her dancing eyes. She filled the pipe, full measure and running over; he took it by the stem, her warm gloved fingers grazing his chilly bare hand and suffusing him with a delicious thrill.
”Now you must crown your work,” he said. ”The matches are somewhere about.”
She hunted again, interpolating exclamations of reproof at the risk of fire.
”They're safety matches, I think,” he said. They proved to be wax vestas. She gave him a liquid glance of mute reproach that filled him with bliss as overbr.i.m.m.i.n.gly as his pipe had been filled with bird's eye; then she struck a match, protecting the flame scientifically in the hollow of her little hand. Raphael had never imagined a wax vesta could be struck so charmingly. She tip-toed to reach the bowl in his mouth, but he bent his tall form and felt her breath upon his face. The volumes of smoke curled up triumphantly, and Esther's serious countenance relaxed in a smile of satisfaction. She resumed the conversation where it had been broken off by the idyllic interlude of the pipe.
”But if you can't leave London, there's plenty of recreation to be had in town. I'll wager you haven't yet been to see _Hamlet_ in lieu of the night you disappointed us.”
”Disappointed myself, you mean,” he said with a retrospective consciousness of folly. ”No, to tell the truth, I haven't been out at all lately. Life is so short.”
”Then, why waste it?”
”Oh come, I can't admit I waste it,” he said, with a gentle smile that filled her with a penetrating emotion. ”You mustn't take such material views of life.” Almost in a whisper he quoted: ”To him that hath the kingdom of G.o.d all things shall be added,” and went on: ”Socialism is at least as important as Shakspeare.”
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