Chapter 642: Traumatic Past (2/2)

”...” Raven didn't say anything. He didn't want to since he doesn't want to look like he wants to pry. It was none of his business to begin with but at the same time, he can keep secrets and can offer help if they truly needed it.

”Elias saw personally how our family was tortured and eventually killed. Well, those sick fuckers 'made' him watch. They forced him to watch as they mercilessly flayed our parents piece by piece. They even forced him to eat their flesh...”

”...there goes my appetite I guess.” Raven rolled his eyes when he heard that. He really didn't need to hear but too late now, really. He already heard it and he already imagine it unconsciously. He really wanted to smack Lorenzo's face for not giving him any subtle warnings about that but he can't blame the guy.

Well, now that he heard about it, he could at least more or less understand as to Elias is a bit unstable. It's not like he's at fault for that, maybe this is his automatic defense mechanism.

'That's pretty fucked up, not going to lie.' Raven thought to himself.

”He's a child when this happened. About 17 or 18 give or take, and it haunted him ever since then.” Lorenzo continued, ”I didn't want to bring up the past to him but I have no way of understanding what he truly feels if I don't ask him anything.”

”Whenever I tried asking him if he's okay, he'll say yes. I get this impression that he should be able to understand what I'm trying to tell him whenever I asked him this question and that I don't want him to re-live that awful scenario. But I also think that just by asking him this would remind him of everything, which completely defeats the purpose.”

”In the end, I get so confused and clueless as to what to do. That's why I'll just try a different approach. I'll try pampering him, he'll get a little too trigger happy. I'll try being hard on him, he gives-up. I tried ignoring him but that too felt bad since I'm the only one he has left. It feels like I am in the constant state of not knowing what to do and just like that, years passed.”

”It feels like I'm doing something but it also feels like I'm not doing nearly enough.” Lorenzo's pain, regret and uncertainty was obvious on his tone.

Raven could tell that Lorenzo has been bottling up this up for a very long time as well. He could tell that Lorenzo loves his little brother to pieces but he just have no clue on how to express that message properly.

”Elder Lorenzo...maybe you're taking a look at this in a completely different angle which causes you to completely miss the obvious answer.” Raven said after a period of silence.

Lorenzo froze, he mechanically looked back at Raven and asked: ”What do you mean?”

”Well, I'd preface that I am in no position to really comment on this since I, myself, did not do anything for my siblings at all. My opinions are based on what I, think is the problem here. So take it with a grain of salt.”

Raven placed down his tea cup and said: ”You see. I believe that whenever you try to ask Elias about what he feels in your own unique way, Elias can understand what you're trying to tell him.”

”I'll make my point clear. Whenever you ask him if he's okay, you're asking if he's still having nightmares about his traumatic past - which, as you said, completely defeats the purpose of your actual intentions. You're trying to avoid making him remember about the trauma by asking about it in a roundabout way...I'm sorry but that sounds retarded. If you don't want him to remember his traumatic past, then don't ask him about it, period.”

”You see, frequently asking him if he's 'okay', not only reminds him of that but also gives him another message saying that: 'My little brother is so delicate and weak that I have to constantly be there for him in case he got scared.' How can Elias move on from his if you are constantly reminding him? How is he supposed to become strong if you kept telling him that he's fragile? How can he muster up confidence if you, his Big Brother and the only family he has left, doesn't even think for a second that he'd be able to do it?”

”Elder Lorenzo. Elias has his own issues, yes. But maybe it is your 'fear' that keeps on holding him back from being freed from it.”

”Give it some thought, yeah? Maybe once you do, you'll finally take the first step towards recovery.” Raven said as he gave Lorenzo some space to think by stepping out of the room.