Part 37 (1/2)

She lifted her head and stared at the doctor through streaming tears. ”Did they arrest her?”

The doctor furrowed his eyebrows. He looked first at her father and back to her. ”I'm told the shooter was a young man, nineteen years old. He fled the scene, but police have him in custody. He confessed everything.”

332 A small ray of hope pierced the darkness in Kari's soul. ”So he wasn't at Angela Manning's apartment?”

The doctor hesitated. ”I believe he was.” And the hope died.

”Ms. Manning spoke with police. She'll be a key witness when the case goes to trial.” He leaned forward and studied her carefully. ”Are you okay?”

Kari nodded. ”I think so.” The contraction had eased, but any relief she felt was quickly replaced with the questions. But only one that mattered.

Why? Why after all the progress they'd made would Tim lie to her and go to Angela Manning's apartment?

Why would somebody shoot him? And why would G.o.d let him die?

She ached from her knees to her elbows. Her body shook more violently with each pa.s.sing minute, as if the cold that had settled over her, in her, would never go away.

Her father brought his face close to her ear and spoke softly. ”I'm so sorry, Kari.”

Her abdomen tightened again, but not as hard as before. She closed her eyes. No ... no, it couldn't be true. The whole story was just a bad dream.

”Tell me it's not true, Daddy, please,” she wailed, desperate for some sign that it was all a lie. When none came, she sobbed louder. ”Why? Why, G.o.d? Why Tim?

Why now? Why?”

She heard no answers, not from her father or the doctor or even from G.o.d-not at that moment. So she did the only thing she could do. She cried for Tim and for herself and for their unborn child. For all the changes Tim's death would mean.

And in that instant she felt a part of her die too.

Because far worse than the pain of losing Tim was the indescribable loss of knowing he had lied again, that she still hadn't been enough for him, even after all they'd been through. Of all 333 the terrifying emotions strangling her heart, the gut-wrenching feeling of betrayal was worst of all.

”Kari.” The simple act of looking up at the doctor took all her remaining energy. He handed her a folded piece of paper. ”This was in his pocket.” The man's eyes were moist. ”I thought you should have it.”

She opened the note as her father's friend left the room. She tried to focus on the words, but her hands were trembling too much to make sense of it. Her father gently took it from her and in a quiet voice, seeped in strength and sorrow, he began to read.

”`Dear Angela ...”' He paused, and Kari figured he was scanning it, wondering if these final words from her husband would send her over the edge.

Kari's heartbeat doubled, and she swallowed back a lump in her throat. His last words had been for Angela, not her. The fact felt like a knife in her heart. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. ”Go ahead, Dad. I want to hear it.”

He s.h.i.+fted the letter to his right hand and clutched her knee with the other.

”`Dear Angela, I'm sorry about what happened between us, but you need to know something. I don't want you coming by my office tomorrow-not tomorrow, and not ever. And I don't want you calling me. What we had together was wrong; it was a lie, and for that I'm truly sorry. But I don't love you. I never did. I'm in love with my wife, and that's where my focus is and must be for the rest of time.”'

Fresh tears, warm and soothing, flooded Kari's eyes, and she buried her head against her father's shoulder. A blanket of unearthly peace settled over her, and she felt herself relax. Tim had been faithful to her. No matter how bad it looked, he had never intended anything more than to set Angela Manning straight, once and for all.

Her husband's last message eased the pain of betrayal but intensified the loss a hundredfold.

”Is that all?”

334 Her father's features clouded, and he shook his head. ”There's more.”

Again fear aimed a blow at her stomach, and another gentle contraction came.

What now? Something worse? She held her breath. ”Read it, Dad ... I need to know.”

He nodded and focused on the note once more. ”`One more thing. If you are pregnant, I'll have to take responsibility.”' ”What?” Kari whispered the word, and nausea consumed her.

She fought the urge to run to the bathroom; instead she stood frozen in place while she considered the horrible possibilities. If Angela was pregnant, their children would be just months apart. Possibly in the same cla.s.s at school.

She remembered Tim's anguish from' earlier that night, the way he'd seemed strangely burdened. Now it all made sense, though the reality of it all left her chilled.

The pain in her abdomen came again, and she hunched over. Her father motioned into the hallway and in seconds the emergency-room doctor returned. ”She's having contractions,” her father explained.

The doctor frowned. ”We need to get you on a monitor, Kari.” He moved to help her, but Kari held out her hand. ”I'm fine.” The pain was easing and she straightened up again. ”I have to see Tim.”

Her father's friend looked concerned, but he nodded. ”We're still cleaning him up. You can see him after that.”

Words wouldn't come, so her father answered for her. ”Thanks, Mike. We'll be okay. Get a monitor ready just in case.” The doctor nodded and left the room.

For a long while there was no sound in the room but Kari's weary sobs and her father's occasional gentle words. ”Hang on, Kari.... We'll get through this. G.o.d will pull us through.”

Deep in her soul she believed that, trusted that somehow she would survive, that her child would be fine, and that somewhere down the road she might even be happy.

335 What she didn't understand was how she would get from here to there.

At the moment, she wasn't sure she could remember how to breathe, let alone care for herself and her child without Tim. In a matter of hours she'd lost her husband, her marriage, her dreams for the future. All of it was gone. And even though G.o.d would help her survive, one question still strangled her heart.

Where are you, G.o.d? Where are you in all of this? Kari felt another contraction, but it was milder this time. ”I'm okay. They're fading.”

”Are you sure?” Her father placed his hand gently on her belly. ”Preterm labor is nothing to mess with.”

”I'm sure.” She sighed and was about to ask her father to help her find Tim's body when they heard a knock at the door. A nurse poked her head in. ”Ms.

Jacobs, there's a woman here to see you. She says it's urgent.”

Kari glanced at her father. ”Probably Mom.” The idea of repeating the details of Tim's death was overwhelming, but she longed to see her mother. She nodded to the nurse. ”Send her in.” The woman disappeared, leaving the door open.

A minute pa.s.sed, and a beautiful young woman with tearstained cheeks and swollen, electric blue eyes appeared at the door. Immediately her eyes fell to Kari's middle. As they did, something changed in the woman's expression. Kari knew instinctively that it was her. The other woman. And she felt her heart sink to her knees.

The woman folded her arms tightly in front of her. ”I'm Angela Manning.”

Kari felt her father's arm around her shoulders, but she kept her eyes fixed on the woman in front of her. So this was Angela? The one Tim had left home for, the one who had nearly destroyed her marriage.

The one who might even now be carrying Tim's child.