Part 25 (2/2)

”Sure, there were women. There always were at those parties.

221 I introduced the guys, and that was it. After that, I stayed with the team.

I wasn't interested in those girls, Kari. I told you that.”

A dozen conversations played in her mind. Ryan was right. He'd always claimed that his feelings were for her alone, that when football was over their life together could begin.

An ache settled in her heart, and she traced small circles in the sand with the toe of her shoe. ”Yes. You always said that.” ”You didn't believe me?”

”I tried.” She stared at him, her mouth open. ”Look at it from my point of view.”

”I want to, Kari.” He was calm. ”Why don't you tell me what happened after I got hurt? Maybe I'll understand better.”

Kari took a deep breath and continued.

She had watched the game on and off that afternoon, doing laundry, catching key plays every now and then, when suddenly she heard her father's voice.

”Kari! Ryan's hurt.”

They were words Kari would never forget, words she had always feared. As she hurried into the television room, she told herself it couldn't be serious. An ankle or knee or bruised rib, maybe. But the screen showed Ryan lying motionless on the field while the announcers talked in hushed tones.

Kari eased herself, trancelike, into a spot on the sofa beside her father and watched as the network replayed the injury. Ryan had caught a pa.s.s in the air and then instantly been sandwiched between two defenders. One pulled him from behind, causing him to lose his balance. The other met him with a direct blow from the front. By that point, Ryan was parallel to the ground, and his head took the full brunt of the impact.

His head and his neck.

The camera cut back to the scene on the field, and Kari could barely breathe as she watched a team of people working on Ryan. Seconds earlier he had been doing what he loved best, running like the wind, his body strong and responding to every 222 signal his brain sent it. But in a single moment, a single hit ... Kari stared at his image on the screen, unable to believe her eyes. His legs lay at an unnatural angle, utterly still.

The announcers' voices cut in. ”He hasn't shown any signs of movement.”

”No, it doesn't look good.”

A somber silence filled the air.

”Our thoughts and prayers are certainly with Ryan Taylor and his family right now.”

The fear of that moment came back in all its fullness now, and Kari was silent for a while. ”I was so scared for you.”

Ryan took hold of her hand and stared at the water. ”It still feels like yesterday.”

Looking back, it seemed odd that she and Ryan had never had this conversation, never gone back and talked about what it was like for him, lying on the field unable to move. ”How much do you remember?”

Ryan's features darkened. ”My face was planted in the gra.s.s. They had to carefully move me so I could breathe.” He clenched his teeth. ”My mind was screaming at my feet and legs and arms to do something, move, get my body up and running again.”

He leaned back in his chair, and his grip on her hand tightened. ”Look at my legs.”

Kari s.h.i.+fted her gaze to Ryan's knees. ”Okay .. ”Try to make them move.”

Kari stared for a few moments, understanding. She looked up at him and winced.

”That's how it felt?”

”It was like my arms and legs belonged to someone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't move.” Tears glistened in his eyes. ”I might have already made a decision to love G.o.d, but I guarantee you, that day I was praying like never before. I promised G.o.d if only he'd give me a second chance, I'd get serious about him.”

It was a detail she'd never heard before, and Kari was terrified 223 at what other truths he might share. What if she'd been wrong about what happened?

It would be more than she could bear.

She swallowed back a lump in her throat and nodded. ”Dad called us together in the room, and we prayed. Then we watched along with everyone else in the country. Waiting and wis.h.i.+ng you would move. Even a little.”

Instead, paramedics had arrived, strapped him to a backboard, and carried him off the field. The announcers had promised to keep the viewers updated, and the game had resumed.

”I was so scared I could barely breathe.” She ran her thumb over his hand.

”That's when Dad made the plan.”

The Cowboys had been playing at Soldier Field in Chicago that afternoon, and the hospital was only a five-hour drive away. Within thirty minutes, he'd phoned someone at the university and gotten the okay for a few days off from teaching.

”Dad and I threw our things in a suitcase and set out to find you.”

Ryan's mother had been at the game that weekend, so Kari and her father knew they'd find her at the hospital.

”I think my dad was as worried for your mom as he was for you.” Kari inhaled sharply, her insides tense at the memory of the next twenty-four hours.

The drive up was one of the quietest Kari could remember. Her fears were so all-consuming she could barely think straight. What if Ryan died en route to the hospital? What if he never walked or ran or moved again? The possibilities were too awful to consider.

When they got to the hospital, they found Ryan's mother right where they'd expected. Sitting in the lobby in intensive care. ”She told us they were operating on your spine. That there was a chance-a small chance-you might walk again.” Kari ignored the tears now streaming quietly down her cheeks. ”Sometime that night my dad and I fell asleep on a couple of padded benches in the waiting room.”

Ryan released her hand and turned to face her. ”Here's where 224 things get a little weird.” His jaw muscles flexed. ”My mom has tried to explain it to me, but I want to hear it from you. What happened when you woke up?”

Kari's stomach dropped. She could hardly believe she was here, at Lake Monroe alone in the dark with Ryan, discussing the events of that time. She exhaled slowly and found a way to continue. ”Your mom was gone, and my dad was still sleeping.” She angled her head, her eyes burning with tears. ”I went to the nurses' station and asked how you were.”

Ryan waited, his eyes locked on hers, hanging on every word. ”A nurse told me you'd come through the surgery beautifully.” A sob escaped from a place in Kari's heart that had not forgotten. ”They couldn't know if you might walk again, but there was a good chance.” Kari caught two quick breaths and fought to maintain her composure. ”I asked if I could go in, and they said maybe later because ...”

His face came closer to hers, his features frozen in antic.i.p.ation of what she was about to say. ”Because ... ?”

”Because right then your girlfriend was with you.”

Ryan stood and let out a moan that echoed across the lake. He dropped his head back and stared straight up, then paced in a circle around the fire. ”I knew it.

I knew that's what happened.” He stopped and stared at Kari, and for the first time his eyes blazed with a kind of anguish she'd never seen there before. ”Why didn't you ask my mom about her?”

Kari's head was spinning. What was he saying? Certainly none of this was a surprise to him. She pictured the other girl at Ryan's side, comforting him, holding his hand, wanting a private moment for just the two of them. If that's what the nurse saw, then it was too late for Ryan to explain it away.

<script>