Part 16 (1/2)
DE GUICHE What are you saying? Milk? ...
CYRANO Of the Milky Way.
DE GUICHE Go to the devil!
CYRANO No! I am sent from Heaven, literally. [Folding his arms.] Will you believe-I discovered it in pa.s.sing-that Sirius at night puts on a night-cap? [Confidentially.] The lesser Bear is too little yet to bite.... [Laughing.] I tumbled plump through Lyra, and snapped a string! ... [Magnificent.] But I intend setting all this down in a book, and the golden stars I have brought back caught in my s.h.a.ggy mantle, when the book is printed, will be seen serving as asterisks!
DE GUICHE I have stood this long enough! I want ...
CYRANO I know perfectly what you want!
DE GUICHE Man ...
CYRANO You want to know, from me, at first hand, what the moon is made of, and whether that monumental pumpkin is inhabited?
DE GUICHE [shouting] [shouting] Not in the very least! I want ... Not in the very least! I want ...
CYRANO To know how I got there? I got there by a method of my own invention.
DE GUICHE [discouraged] He is mad! ... stark!
CYRANO [disdainfully] Do not imagine that I resorted to anything so absurd as Regiomonta.n.u.s's eagle, or anything so lacking in enterprise as Archytas's pigeon! ...56 DE GUICHE The madman is erudite.
CYRANO I drew up nothing that had ever been thought of before! [DE GUICHE has succeeded in getting past CYRANO, and and is nearing ROXANE's is nearing ROXANE's door; door; CYRANO CYRANO follows him, ready to b.u.t.tonhole him.] follows him, ready to b.u.t.tonhole him.] I invented no less than six ways of storming the blue fort of Heaven! I invented no less than six ways of storming the blue fort of Heaven!
DE GUICHE [turning around [turning around] Six, did you say?
CYRANO [volubly] One way was to stand naked in the suns.h.i.+ne, in a harness thickly studded with gla.s.s phials, each filled with morning dew. The sun in drawing up the dew, you see, could not have helped drawing me up too!
DE GUICHE [surprised, taking a step toward [surprised, taking a step toward CYRANO] True. That is one! CYRANO] True. That is one!
CYRANO [taking a step backward, with a view to drawing DE GUICHE DE GUICHE away from the door] away from the door] Or else, I could have let the wind into a cedar coffer, then rarified the imprisoned element by means of cunningly adjusted burning-gla.s.ses, and soared up with it! Or else, I could have let the wind into a cedar coffer, then rarified the imprisoned element by means of cunningly adjusted burning-gla.s.ses, and soared up with it!
DE GUICHE [taking another step toward CYRANO] Two! CYRANO] Two!
CYRANO [backing] Or else, mechanic as well as artificer, I could have fas.h.i.+oned a giant gra.s.shopper, with steel joints, which, impelled by successive explosions of salt-peter, would have hopped with me to the azure meadows where graze the starry flocks!
DE GUICHE [unconsciously following CYRANO, CYRANO, and counting on his fingers] and counting on his fingers] That makes three! That makes three!
CYRANO Since smoke by its nature ascends, I could have blown into an appropriate globe a sufficient quant.i.ty to ascend with me!
DE GUICHE [as above, more and more astonished] Four!
CYRANO Since Phoebe, the moon-G.o.ddess, when she is at wane, is greedy, 0 beeves! of your marrow,... with that marrow have besmeared myself!
DE GUICHE [amazed] [amazed] Five! Five!
CYRANO [who while talking has backed, followed by DE GUICHE, DE GUICHE, to the further side of the square, near a bench] to the further side of the square, near a bench] Or else, I could have placed myself upon an iron plate, have taken a magnet of suitable size, and thrown it in the air! That way is a very good one! The magnet flies upward, the iron instantly after; the magnet no sooner overtaken than you fling it up again.... The rest is clear! You can go upward indefinitely. Or else, I could have placed myself upon an iron plate, have taken a magnet of suitable size, and thrown it in the air! That way is a very good one! The magnet flies upward, the iron instantly after; the magnet no sooner overtaken than you fling it up again.... The rest is clear! You can go upward indefinitely.
DE GUICHE Six!... But here are six excellent methods! Which of the six, my dear sir, did you select?
CYRANO A seventh!
DE GUICHE Did you, indeed? And what was that?
CYRANO I give you a hundred guesses!
DE GUICHE I must confess that I should like to know!
CYRANO [imitating the noise of the surf, and making great, mysterious gestures] [imitating the noise of the surf, and making great, mysterious gestures] Hoo-is.h.!.+ hoo-is.h.!.+ Hoo-is.h.!.+ hoo-is.h.!.+
DE GUICHE Well! What is that?
CYRANO Cannot you guess?
DE GUICHE No!
CYRANO The tide! ... At the hour in which the moon attracts the deep, I lay down upon the sands, after a sea-bath... and, my head being drawn up first,-the reason of this, you see, that the hair will hold a quant.i.ty of water in its mop!-I rose in the air, straight, beautifully straight, like an angel. I rose... I rose softly... without an effort... when, suddenly, I felt a shock. Then...
DE GUICHE [lured on by curiosity, taking a seat on the bench] [lured on by curiosity, taking a seat on the bench] Well, then? ... Well, then? ...
CYRANO Then... [resuming his natural voice.] [resuming his natural voice.] The time is up, Monsieur, and I release you. They are married. The time is up, Monsieur, and I release you. They are married.
DE GUICHE [getting to his feet with a leap] [getting to his feet with a leap] I am dreaming or drunk! That voice? [ I am dreaming or drunk! That voice? [The door of ROXANE's ROXANE's house opens; lackeys appear carrying lighted candelabra. house opens; lackeys appear carrying lighted candelabra. CYRANO CYRANO removes his hat. removes his hat.] And that nose! ... Cyrano!
CYRANO [bowing] [bowing] Cyrano. They have exchanged rings within the quarter of the hour. Cyrano. They have exchanged rings within the quarter of the hour.
DE GUICHE Who have? [He turns round. Tableau. Behind the lackey stand [He turns round. Tableau. Behind the lackey stand ROXANE ROXANE and and CHRISTIAN CHRISTIAN holding hands. holding hands. THE CAPUCHIN THE CAPUCHIN follows them smiling. follows them smiling. RAGUENEAU RAGUENEAU holds high a flambeau. holds high a flambeau. THE DUENNA THE DUENNA closes the procession, bewildered, in her bedgown closes the procession, bewildered, in her bedgown.]
SCENE XIV.
The Same, Roxane, Christian, the Capuchin, Ragueneau, Lackeys, the Duenna Lackeys, the Duenna
DE GUICHE Heavens! [to ROXANE.] You! [Recognizing CHRISTIAN CHRISTIAN with amazement with amazement.] He? [Bowing to ROXANE.] Your astuteness compels my admiration! [To CYRANO.] My compliments to you, ingenious inventor of flying machines. Your experiences would have beguiled a saint on the threshold of Paradise! Make a note of them.... They can be used again, with profit, in a book! ROXANE.] Your astuteness compels my admiration! [To CYRANO.] My compliments to you, ingenious inventor of flying machines. Your experiences would have beguiled a saint on the threshold of Paradise! Make a note of them.... They can be used again, with profit, in a book!
CYRANO [bowing] I will confidently follow your advice.
THE CAPUCHIN [to [to DE GUICHE, DE GUICHE, pointing at the lovers, and wagging his great white beard with satisfaction] pointing at the lovers, and wagging his great white beard with satisfaction] A beautiful couple, my son, brought together by you! A beautiful couple, my son, brought together by you!
DE GUICHE [eyeing him frigidly [eyeing him frigidly] As you say! [To [To ROXANE.] And now proceed, Madame, to take leave of your husband. ROXANE.] And now proceed, Madame, to take leave of your husband.
ROXANE What?
DE GUICHE [to CHRISTIAN] The regiment is on the point of starting. You are to join it!