Chapter 109 (1/1)

Chapter 109

Translated by: ShawnSuh Edited by: SootyOwl ”Calm down,” said Dae Soo as she pulled Mideum back . ”Sounds like you stay really close to writing . Maybe a little too close even . I tend to keep my distance from it . I can even be a little reckless at times . Although, I've noticed that your stories aren't entirely peaceful either . Does that take a toll on you at all?” ”No . The s.p.a.ce I'm in tends to crumble away . The moment I leave that s.p.a.ce, that's when I start writing . ” ”Closer to reality than imagination, but it can't be found in reality… Yet, it definitely exists . I think I'm starting to get it . It must be like seeing a ghost . ” A ghost . It was an interesting comparison . That was the way she interpreted Juho's writing process . Seo Joong nodded in agreement . ”I lean more toward wanting to get closer to writing, but this guy tends to be a bit excessive at times . ” ”I'd love to experience it still, at least once,” said Mideum . ”I know it arouses your curiosity, but you can easily lose yourself . Every author has his or her way . ” While staring at his dish, Juho chuckled as he remembered something . ”It does pop out from time to time,” Juho said using Dae Soo's words . ”What does?” ”The ghost . ” ”OK, stop right there . I get really freaked out by stuff like that,” said Seo Joong . However, Dae Soo and Mideum urged him to continue . ”People contradict themselves sometimes . ” ”Right . ” ”Though I'm mostly content with the fact that I've finished writing and that I've done everything I needed to, there's a part of me that wants my books to be understood the way I wrote them . I don't know if it's just me . ” While the crow was always rather irritable, Juho smiled everytime it threw a fit . While it demanded to be praised, Juho insisted on writing . It was either that the crow was immature or that Juho was simply showing off . Two opposing hearts existed within him, which meant he was contradicting himself . ”Oh, is it what I think it is?” ”Oh, right . ” ”That happens on a daily basis . ” All the authors in the room agreed . ”It can't be helped . As long as we're human, we're selfish by nature,” said Dae Soo . Juho took no offense to her describing humans as selfish beings . In order for him to taste the bitterness out of her mouth, she continued, ”I feel how selfish I am every time I'm writing . What's funny is that I can identify with others . Because there are two contradicting hearts, my thoughts also split in two . It puts me in an awkward situation at times,” she said, spreading her index . ”I tell myself that I would write even if it meant writing for one single reader . That is closer to identifying with the reader because I'm writing with my reader in mind . ” She continued, spreading another finger, ”On the other hand, part of me wants my books to be read by the entire planet because I want money and fame . Frankly, that's what every author wants . Greed is selfish by nature . ” Her hand made a 'V' shape . ”Of course, we're not the only people who have these thoughts . All humans have the same thoughts, just dressed differently depending on the situation . ” ”Everyone has a ghost of their own,” murmured Mideum . ”Of course, they'd be visible only to those who can see,” Seo Joong added as he looked in Juho's direction, meeting eyes with him . ”You said it 'pops out,' right?” ”Yes . ” ”You're just fearless, aren't you?” murmured Seo Joong . ”It almost seems like you've taught your heart to know when it's contradicting itself . ” Juho looked down slightly . He was right . In order to write something better, he held off on worrying and the feelings a.s.sociated with it . Once he published his work, the time eventually came when he was forced to face the things he had been holding back . He wanted to run away just a little further . It was his impulsivity . He gave the lump of dust in the corner of his mind a shape . Suddenly, he thought of the crow and its feathers that were as dark as ink . ”Should I unlearn it?” ”That would be entirely up to you . I can't reach that deep with my imagination,” Seo Joong said as he took a sip from his cup filled with frothy c.o.ke . ”What's it like when your worries try to talk to you? Is it fun or painful?” asked Mideum . Juho thought for a brief time . The crow was rather noisy . Juho hadn't even bothered to name it . He didn't want to see it around . Yet, part of him didn't want to unlearn what he had taught his heart . He was contradicting himself to that very moment . ”I feel like I would lose if my heart were to unlearn it . ” ”Haha! I didn't know you were the compet.i.tive type!” ”I must be . ” There was no way to know what a favorable outcome would look like . However, Juho had come to realize that the crow was there to stay . If that was him contradicting himself, and being human made him susceptible to it, then… ”Sometimes, I wonder if my heart just needs to be comforted in some way . ” Mideum laughed . ”Everyone carries the same kind of burden . ” ”Right,” agreed Juho as he raised his cup . The cold, refres.h.i.+ng beverage flowed into his mouth . Though it gave his throat a fizzy sensation, the c.o.ke was refres.h.i.+ng . From then on, they continued on with their meal and moved onto talking about subjects like current events and writing . As she cut herself a large piece of meat from her dish, Dae Soo asked Juho, ”So, how did you get to know Mr . Lim?” ”Mrs . Baek gave me his contact information . Of course, I took the opportunity with grat.i.tude,” Juho answered while eating . ”You mean Mr . Lim contacted you first? You're so lucky . I haven't even had a chance to talk to him to this day . ” ”That goes to prove how good your book was . ” Feeling somewhat uncomfortable about being the center of attention, Juho changed the subject subtly, ”It's nothing compared to your work, Ms . Na . I'd love to write something so bold and unapologetic . ” ”I've been getting some feedback telling me that I need to be more gentle and apologetic,” answered Dae Soo, sipping her wine . Giggling, Seo Joong nodded in agreement . ”You know, you'd get those feedbacks a lot less if you worked on controlling your books' intensity level . ” ”Hmph! I can't just stop writing what I have in my head because other people have something to say about it . Nevertheless, I did think, in pa.s.sing, on whether I needed to tone it down a little,” she said as she raised her knife . ”I like your work, Dae Soo,” said Mideum . ”Eh . I think it needs to be a little… tamed,” said Seo Joong . ”I can hear you guys!” ”C'mon, Dae Soo . We're professionals when it comes to receiving criticism . You know what to listen for . ” Snickering, she pointed in Seo Joong's direction with her chin . ”Then, you're next . ” ”Eh, I don't have to go far . I've been getting plenty of harsh feedback from someone very, very near . ” ”Ah, none other than the infamous Dong Gil Uhm himself . ” ”That ice-cold buddy of mine gives me the sincerest of feedbacks, saying that my work is too mushy . ” ”He's not wrong . ” ”Rigid and cold isn't really my style . ” ”Your recent work was somewhat rigid though . ” ”That's different . ” Dae Soo looked at Mideum as she sat quietly, waiting for her turn anxiously . ”Don't be scared . ” ”That's not helpful . I don't want to hear anything bad about my work . ” ”That's a luxury we don't get to live with in this world . Seriously, you need to be bolder!” said Dae Soo . Having watched quietly, Juho parted his lips to ask, ”Speaking of which, when is the next book in the Dr . Dong series coming out?” ”Agh!” Mideum groaned as if she had been stabbed in the heart . Juho was somewhat fl.u.s.tered by her unexpected response . ”Did I go overboard?” ”No, not at all . This girl's been struggling with coming up with a case for the next book . ” ”OK, that's enough . We're here to eat, right? So why don't we just do that?” ”Your readers are getting antsy, you know . ” ”Ughhh…” Mideum groaned again, shoving her fingers between her hair . ”There are plenty of cases I want to write about, but I don't see anything Dr . Dong would find interesting,” she said . ”What are you? Yun Woo? Don't you even try with your imagination,” Dae Soo said mercilessly . Judging from their interactions thus far, they were close friends . Quite a few authors tended to be overly proud of their own work . ”I've written five books of that series, and I still don't get what kind of person Dr . Dong is . It's especially so as of late . It's like my mind has emptied itself . ” ”My, my,” Dae Soo shook her head . She was familiar with the symptoms . It was bound to happen in any creative process and it came without warning . It was a natural occurrence . Without the help of magic, no author was capable of burning through the pages of their ma.n.u.script paper without stopping . ”It's like catching a cold . It happens to you often . It'll get better once you take your mind off of it and rest for a little while . ” ”I can't afford to! Even yesterday, I got a call from my editor,” Mideum said anxiously . Juho looked at her . She was clearly in a rut . In most cases, all it took to turn the situation around was to find a small hole . It didn't matter how small . What mattered was that there was a way move forward . Unfortunately, she wasn't equipped with the proper tools to be able to poke a hole, which meant that she had to look for her solutions from the outside . However, it was human nature to search a place that had already been searched . It wasn't all that different from the time when Juho lost his flash drive . He had looked through the same desk more than he could count . 'What would it take to sound like Yun Woo?' Juho wondered . In order to help find the right tool for Mideum, he asked her, ”Is Dr . Dong not showing interest in any of those cases?” ” . . . No, it's nothing like that . I'm sorry . It was just an excuse . ” ”What if you gave him a reason to be interested?” ”A reason?” ”Yes . Something that would make him think . For example, he's a neatfreak, so he never sets foot near a corpse, right?” ”Yeah . ” ”But he wasn't always like that . He has touched a dead body before, so he did something he would never do currently . ” Thinking back on her work, Mideum nodded in agreement . There had been a reason for Dr . Dong to be at the scene . ”Of course . It was necessary for the story to progress . I did make it so that the clues that would arouse Dr . Dong's curiosity could be found near the body . ” ”Which meant he would HAVE TO go near it . ” ”Right…” Mideum had left Dr . Dong no choice . After all, she was the writer . She had dragged him in the direction she had wanted . Yet now, she was the one being dragged by him . She quietly immersed herself in her thoughts . ”Would you say that you're against idea of breaking out of your own mold?” ”Not at all . In fact, the issue is that I can't stay within the mold . Why haven't I been able to do that?” ”In my personal experience, I've found my own greed to be the culprit . ” ”Greed, huh…” Her latest book had not been well-received . Because she wanted positive feedback, she only thought about the ways she could receive them . ”It seems like I've been far too distracted . It's not that I couldn't think of things to write . I was never thinking about it to start with . I was busy thinking about what others would think and say about me . I see . Now, it makes sense . ” Pus.h.i.+ng her dishes aside, Mideum pulled a laptop out of her bag and placed it on the desk . ”The perks of having a genius around, am I right? OK, now I get it . Man, it wasn't even that complicated! Wait, now I feel like I'm gonna forget . Ugh, what do I do? I feel like my thoughts are getting all tangled up again . Anyway, thanks a lot! I'll pay you back later,” she said in a hurry . Her hands moved just as busily as her lips . What could she possibly write in a place like that? ”The things you do during a meal…” Dae Soo gave her a judgmental look . ”You looked all depressed when I was telling you the same thing . ” ”You're not very graceful with your words, Dae Soo . If you said it like Yun Woo, I would've understood it immediately . I'm going to write this down on my journal so that I don't forget . ” ”What are you? Dong Gil, now?” ”Please, I have to focus . This is a matter of livelihood . ” Seeing her getting busy, Juho also took a small notepad out of his pocket . ”If you'd excuse me . ” ”You're fine . What's that?” Dae Soo asked, looking surprised . ”Oh, it's nothing special . ” Just as he said that, Juho closed his notepad after writing no more than a few words . He was reminded of a someone looking at Mideum being tossed around by the opinions surrounding her . Just like Mideum, that person would smile like an imbecile at those who were hurling insults at her . ”Is there something you're working on?” ”Yes, but I'm not planning on publis.h.i.+ng it as Yun Woo . ” ”Then?” ”Let's just say… myself?” ”Yet another curve ball . You're one mysterious creature,” said Dae Soo, throwing her arms into the air . She studied Juho's face intently . He was young, much too young to be an author . An author in their forties like herself was considered to be young in the literary world . ”Yun Woo's works are flawless . ” ”Pardon?” As if the age alone wasn't shocking enough of a factor, Yun Woo's work were incredible . In Mideum's own words, he was at an age when he would know nothing about alcohol . Once she met Yun Woo herself, she realized that it made sense that Hyun Do Lim had taken an interest in him . Yun Woo was simply too extraordinary to be labeled as average . Dae Soo wanted to see that young author around more often . ”Let's stay in touch . Would you mind if I invited you to our outings?” ”Outings?” Juho asked as he blinked awkwardly .

Translated by: ShawnSuh Edited by: SootyOwl Calm down, said Dae Soo as she pulled Mideum back . Sounds like you stay really close to writing . Maybe a little too close even . I tend to keep my distance from it . I can even be a little reckless at times . Although, Ive noticed that your stories arent entirely peaceful either . Does that take a toll on you at all? No . The s.p.a.ce Im in tends to crumble away . The moment I leave that s.p.a.ce, thats when I start writing . Closer to reality than imagination, but it cant be found in reality… Yet, it definitely exists . I think Im starting to get it . It must be like seeing a ghost . A ghost . It was an interesting comparison . That was the way she interpreted Juhos writing process . Seo Joong nodded in agreement . I lean more toward wanting to get closer to writing, but this guy tends to be a bit excessive at times . Id love to experience it still, at least once, said Mideum . I know it arouses your curiosity, but you can easily lose yourself . Every author has his or her way . While staring at his dish, Juho chuckled as he remembered something . It does pop out from time to time, Juho said using Dae Soos words . What does? The ghost . OK, stop right there . I get really freaked out by stuff like that, said Seo Joong . However, Dae Soo and Mideum urged him to continue . People contradict themselves sometimes . Right . Though Im mostly content with the fact that Ive finished writing and that Ive done everything I needed to, theres a part of me that wants my books to be understood the way I wrote them . I dont know if its just me . While the crow was always rather irritable, Juho smiled everytime it threw a fit . While it demanded to be praised, Juho insisted on writing . It was either that the crow was immature or that Juho was simply showing off . Two opposing hearts existed within him, which meant he was contradicting himself . Oh, is it what I think it is? Oh, right . That happens on a daily basis . All the authors in the room agreed . It cant be helped . As long as were human, were selfish by nature, said Dae Soo . Juho took no offense to her describing humans as selfish beings . In order for him to taste the bitterness out of her mouth, she continued, I feel how selfish I am every time Im writing . Whats funny is that I can identify with others . Because there are two contradicting hearts, my thoughts also split in two . It puts me in an awkward situation at times, she said, spreading her index . I tell myself that I would write even if it meant writing for one single reader . That is closer to identifying with the reader because Im writing with my reader in mind . She continued, spreading another finger, On the other hand, part of me wants my books to be read by the entire planet because I want money and fame . Frankly, thats what every author wants . Greed is selfish by nature . Her hand made a V shape . Of course, were not the only people who have these thoughts . All humans have the same thoughts, just dressed differently depending on the situation . Everyone has a ghost of their own, murmured Mideum . Of course, theyd be visible only to those who can see, Seo Joong added as he looked in Juhos direction, meeting eyes with him . You said it pops out, right? Yes . Youre just fearless, arent you? murmured Seo Joong . It almost seems like youve taught your heart to know when its contradicting itself . Juho looked down slightly . He was right . In order to write something better, he held off on worrying and the feelings a.s.sociated with it . Once he published his work, the time eventually came when he was forced to face the things he had been holding back . He wanted to run away just a little further . It was his impulsivity . He gave the lump of dust in the corner of his mind a shape . Suddenly, he thought of the crow and its feathers that were as dark as ink . Should I unlearn it? That would be entirely up to you . I cant reach that deep with my imagination, Seo Joong said as he took a sip from his cup filled with frothy c.o.ke . Whats it like when your worries try to talk to you? Is it fun or painful? asked Mideum . Juho thought for a brief time . The crow was rather noisy . Juho hadnt even bothered to name it . He didnt want to see it around . Yet, part of him didnt want to unlearn what he had taught his heart . He was contradicting himself to that very moment . I feel like I would lose if my heart were to unlearn it . Haha! I didnt know you were the compet.i.tive type! I must be . There was no way to know what a favorable outcome would look like . However, Juho had come to realize that the crow was there to stay . If that was him contradicting himself, and being human made him susceptible to it, then… Sometimes, I wonder if my heart just needs to be comforted in some way . Mideum laughed . Everyone carries the same kind of burden . Right, agreed Juho as he raised his cup . The cold, refres.h.i.+ng beverage flowed into his mouth . Though it gave his throat a fizzy sensation, the c.o.ke was refres.h.i.+ng . From then on, they continued on with their meal and moved onto talking about subjects like current events and writing . As she cut herself a large piece of meat from her dish, Dae Soo asked Juho, So, how did you get to know Mr . Lim? Mrs . Baek gave me his contact information . Of course, I took the opportunity with grat.i.tude, Juho answered while eating . You mean Mr . Lim contacted you first? Youre so lucky . I havent even had a chance to talk to him to this day . That goes to prove how good your book was . Feeling somewhat uncomfortable about being the center of attention, Juho changed the subject subtly, Its nothing compared to your work, Ms . Na . Id love to write something so bold and unapologetic . Ive been getting some feedback telling me that I need to be more gentle and apologetic, answered Dae Soo, sipping her wine . Giggling, Seo Joong nodded in agreement . You know, youd get those feedbacks a lot less if you worked on controlling your books intensity level . Hmph! I cant just stop writing what I have in my head because other people have something to say about it . Nevertheless, I did think, in pa.s.sing, on whether I needed to tone it down a little, she said as she raised her knife . I like your work, Dae Soo, said Mideum . Eh . I think it needs to be a little… tamed, said Seo Joong . I can hear you guys! Cmon, Dae Soo . Were professionals when it comes to receiving criticism . You know what to listen for . Snickering, she pointed in Seo Joongs direction with her chin . Then, youre next . Eh, I dont have to go far . Ive been getting plenty of harsh feedback from someone very, very near . Ah, none other than the infamous Dong Gil Uhm himself . That ice-cold buddy of mine gives me the sincerest of feedbacks, saying that my work is too mushy . Hes not wrong . Rigid and cold isnt really my style . Your recent work was somewhat rigid though . Thats different . Dae Soo looked at Mideum as she sat quietly, waiting for her turn anxiously . Dont be scared . Thats not helpful . I dont want to hear anything bad about my work . Thats a luxury we dont get to live with in this world . Seriously, you need to be bolder! said Dae Soo . Having watched quietly, Juho parted his lips to ask, Speaking of which, when is the next book in the Dr . Dong series coming out? Agh! Mideum groaned as if she had been stabbed in the heart . Juho was somewhat fl.u.s.tered by her unexpected response . Did I go overboard? No, not at all . This girls been struggling with coming up with a case for the next book . OK, thats enough . Were here to eat, right? So why dont we just do that? Your readers are getting antsy, you know . Ughhh… Mideum groaned again, shoving her fingers between her hair . There are plenty of cases I want to write about, but I dont see anything Dr . Dong would find interesting, she said . What are you? Yun Woo? Dont you even try with your imagination, Dae Soo said mercilessly . Judging from their interactions thus far, they were close friends . Quite a few authors tended to be overly proud of their own work . Ive written five books of that series, and I still dont get what kind of person Dr . Dong is . Its especially so as of late . Its like my mind has emptied itself . My, my, Dae Soo shook her head . She was familiar with the symptoms . It was bound to happen in any creative process and it came without warning . It was a natural occurrence . Without the help of magic, no author was capable of burning through the pages of their ma.n.u.script paper without stopping . Its like catching a cold . It happens to you often . Itll get better once you take your mind off of it and rest for a little while . I cant afford to! Even yesterday, I got a call from my editor, Mideum said anxiously . Juho looked at her . She was clearly in a rut . In most cases, all it took to turn the situation around was to find a small hole . It didnt matter how small . What mattered was that there was a way move forward . Unfortunately, she wasnt equipped with the proper tools to be able to poke a hole, which meant that she had to look for her solutions from the outside . However, it was human nature to search a place that had already been searched . It wasnt all that different from the time when Juho lost his flash drive . He had looked through the same desk more than he could count . What would it take to sound like Yun Woo? Juho wondered . In order to help find the right tool for Mideum, he asked her, Is Dr . Dong not showing interest in any of those cases? . No, its nothing like that . Im sorry . It was just an excuse . What if you gave him a reason to be interested? A reason? Yes . Something that would make him think . For example, hes a neatfreak, so he never sets foot near a corpse, right? Yeah . But he wasnt always like that . He has touched a dead body before, so he did something he would never do currently . Thinking back on her work, Mideum nodded in agreement . There had been a reason for Dr . Dong to be at the scene . Of course . It was necessary for the story to progress . I did make it so that the clues that would arouse Dr . Dongs curiosity could be found near the body . Which meant he would HAVE TO go near it . Right… Mideum had left Dr . Dong no choice . After all, she was the writer . She had dragged him in the direction she had wanted . Yet now, she was the one being dragged by him . She quietly immersed herself in her thoughts . Would you say that youre against idea of breaking out of your own mold? Not at all . In fact, the issue is that I cant stay within the mold . Why havent I been able to do that? In my personal experience, Ive found my own greed to be the culprit . Greed, huh… Her latest book had not been well-received . Because she wanted positive feedback, she only thought about the ways she could receive them . It seems like Ive been far too distracted . Its not that I couldnt think of things to write . I was never thinking about it to start with . I was busy thinking about what others would think and say about me . I see . Now, it makes sense . Pus.h.i.+ng her dishes aside, Mideum pulled a laptop out of her bag and placed it on the desk . The perks of having a genius around, am I right? OK, now I get it . Man, it wasnt even that complicated! Wait, now I feel like Im gonna forget . Ugh, what do I do? I feel like my thoughts are getting all tangled up again . Anyway, thanks a lot! Ill pay you back later, she said in a hurry . Her hands moved just as busily as her lips . What could she possibly write in a place like that? The things you do during a meal… Dae Soo gave her a judgmental look . You looked all depressed when I was telling you the same thing . Youre not very graceful with your words, Dae Soo . If you said it like Yun Woo, I wouldve understood it immediately . Im going to write this down on my journal so that I dont forget . What are you? Dong Gil, now? Please, I have to focus . This is a matter of livelihood . Seeing her getting busy, Juho also took a small notepad out of his pocket . If youd excuse me . Youre fine . Whats that? Dae Soo asked, looking surprised . Oh, its nothing special . Just as he said that, Juho closed his notepad after writing no more than a few words . He was reminded of a someone looking at Mideum being tossed around by the opinions surrounding her . Just like Mideum, that person would smile like an imbecile at those who were hurling insults at her . Is there something youre working on? Yes, but Im not planning on publis.h.i.+ng it as Yun Woo . Then? Lets just say… myself? Yet another curve ball . Youre one mysterious creature, said Dae Soo, throwing her arms into the air . She studied Juhos face intently . He was young, much too young to be an author . An author in their forties like herself was considered to be young in the literary world . Yun Woos works are flawless . Pardon? As if the age alone wasnt shocking enough of a factor, Yun Woos work were incredible . In Mideums own words, he was at an age when he would know nothing about alcohol . Once she met Yun Woo herself, she realized that it made sense that Hyun Do Lim had taken an interest in him . Yun Woo was simply too extraordinary to be labeled as average . Dae Soo wanted to see that young author around more often . Lets stay in touch . Would you mind if I invited you to our outings? Outings? Juho asked as he blinked awkwardly .