Chapter 35: Chapter 35 - The Woman And Her Guitar (2/2)
As soon as the woman stopped singing, the park grew silent again. The elderly people left one by one, until there were only a few left. It was a strange sight. There was no wind. The leaves weren't blowing. The elderly weren't moving either. The woman walking down the stage was the only movement there was.
Juho approached the woman as she opened her guitar case to place it inside. At the sound of his footsteps, she turned to looked at him.
”Can I help you?” the woman asked wearing the guitar over her shoulders.
It wasn't so much that he needed help. Seeing him hesitate, the woman started putting her guitar back into its case.
Finally, he asked, ”Are you a singer?”
”Nope.”
”Aspiring?”
”Nope.”
”Hobby?”
”How about this?” she tilted her head as she was asked a strange question. Fortunately, she didn't seem to be bothered by Juho's questions. If at all, she seemed somewhat entertained. ”I'm in the process of looking for work. I couldn't find a corporate job, which is why I'm singing and playing guitar.”
”So you're resting in a sense?”
”It's tiresome to sing and play guitar.”
She emphasized that something tiresome couldn't be a form of rest. Perhaps that tiresome deed had a deeper meaning to her.
'Employment.'
Juho thought of what he had seen on the TV recently. A panel of people had asked a successful CEO, ”What are some ways that people who went to a no-name school can find a job?”
He responded, ”It's discrimination to be treated equally as those who went to a prestigious school. These people fought for the name of their schools.”
The camera showed the faces of those who were searching for a job after graduating from a no-name school. They seemed burnt out. Perhaps, people could still get burnt out even if they hadn't tried. Perhaps they're burnt out precisely because they hadn't tried. It was the punishment for not trying harder than the others.
Juho wanted to ask the CEO one question, 'How do you determine the amount of effort you put in?' Sadly, he couldn't get a response.
After putting her guitar away, the woman stood up. She was shorter than Juho had thought. She had looked quite tall from afar, but it might have been the stage.
”So, why do you sing?”
”There's nothing I really want to do, so yeah...”
She didn't have anything she wanted to do although she was looking for a job. After a brief moment thinking, she continued, ”I think there's a message I want to pa.s.s on.”
”Like what?
She thought for a good while.
”I'm not too sure. I might not want to do anything, but I still wanted to say something,” the woman with a guitar said with a smile. ”I'm sure I'll find it someday, whatever it is that I've been wanting to say.”
”What about the lyrics?”
”I got a little shy in front of the audience.”
'She seemed fine. What is she talking about?' he thought.
”You're too shy to sing your lyrics?”
”Yeah. I feel like they would know.”
'What do you think they would know?' Juho had to swallow the question. To a woman who didn't even sing the lyrics because of her fear of being known, it would be rude to ask anything further. Instead, he decided to rephrase his words, ”I have something I don't want people to know too.”
”Don't we all?”
”I guess so.”
Just like that, the conversation came to an end. Although there was nothing left to be said, the two didn't leave their spot. 'What else was there?'
Before Juho had a chance to ask her if she sang at the park every day, the woman quickly asked, ”How was it?”
”How was what?”
”My song.”
'Is she looking for a compliment?' he thought as he looked at her. Just like when she was on stage, there was no smile or annoyance on her face. She was bland. It made it hard for Juho to read her expressions, so he decided to answer honestly, ”It was mostly 'lalalas,' so it's hard to say.”
”I'm sure it was.”
She was neither disappointed nor annoyed and she replied calmly as if she had expected it. Seeing that, he couldn't help but ask the question he had kept himself from asking earlier, ”You said you want to send a message earlier. Are you afraid that others will know what you're thinking?”
”I must be. A heart is a pain in the a.s.s.”
Juho smiled at her use of strong language.
”When do you think they'll finally come out? Your lyrics.”
”They'll come out some day. There is something I want to say.”
'If she had figured out what she'd been wanting to say and found the courage to say it, would she be singing still?' he asked himself.
”Are you going to keep singing?”
”Of course. It's not like there's anything I want to do,” she replied.
”Until when?”
”Probably till I die?”
She smiled as she answered his question. It was an ordinary smile. Even if a person didn't have anything they wanted to do or had the courage to speak up about it, they'd go on living. They'd lead an ordinary life.
With her ordinary smile, the woman finally left.
In a s.p.a.ce where nothing moved, Juho kept thinking on his own.
'What is it that she wants to say? What are the words to her lyrics that she desperately wants to hide? Whatever it is, it'll probably resemble her. They're probably just ordinary lyrics.'
Chapter 35 - The Woman and Her Guitar; The End