Part 4 (1/2)
”Hey,” she said, nearly out of breath as she approached her office.
”Hi,” Nathaniel said, feeling his face heat up.
”Want to come in?” she asked.
”Sure,” he said, feeling his heartbeat boom in his chest. She's your boss. You're her employee. She's just being polite because you serve her breakfast each day. Don't forget that!
As she placed her hand on the sensor that unlocked her door, she was quiet and kept her eyes on the door. As soon as they crossed the threshold into her office and the door closed, all formality vanished. The outside world fell away, as if they were tucked away in a cabin in the woods. He loved this comfortable feeling, just as it pained him to know it would never amount to anything.
Nathaniel sat down without waiting for an invitation. He watched as she quietly set her briefcase down and removed her coat that she carefully hung up. It offered him a moment of looking at her from behind. She caught the focus of his eyes when she turned around and gave him a slow, but knowing smile, clearly entertained. The smile alone made him stiffen, and he s.h.i.+fted the Chester's Bakery bag to his lap as he crossed his legs.
”So, how long have you been working here?” she asked, once she sat down.
”I've been here forever, since right after high school. Never worked anywhere else, really,” he said. ”This,” he said, gesturing around ”is my life and probably will be forever.”
”Do you like working here?” she asked. Nathaniel kept his eyes focused on the floor, as an uncomfortable feeling began to settle in. How could he answer that?
”What you tell me is between us,” she told him, as if she could read his quandary about whether to please her or be honest.
”I like working hard and earning a living and am grateful to have a job,” he said.
”Oh, C'mon, Nathaniel. You sound like a G.o.dd.a.m.n commercial for bipartisans.h.i.+p!” she said, laughing. ”Tell me the truth. I don't have anybody here to tell me how things really are,” she said, her voice softening. ”I'm just the new girl here, you know,” she said, laughing.
”I think I'd better go,” he said. He had been wis.h.i.+ng to have the opportunity to sit exactly where he was, and now realized it was probably better kept as a daydream. He had to get out of there and motioned to stand.
”Sit,” she said, looking at her watch. ”You've got plenty of time.”
”It's not that,” he said. She smiled at him with a relaxed, pleasant smile that he wasn't sure how to interpret. He had seen a zillion photos of her over the years, but they didn't come anywhere close to capturing her true beauty.
”I don't know how I'm supposed to answer you,” he said, simply.
”We're just having a conversation over coffee,” she said shrugging. She pulled the other cup of coffee from the bag in between them and offered it to him. He couldn't help but think about how Janice held her gla.s.s out to him the previous evening, tricking him by gripping it tight when he went to take it. Shayla's fingers momentarily touched his as he took the coffee. How he wished they could linger there, but knew that he needed to banish those thoughts. You are her employee and she is your boss, he reminded himself yet again. That didn't help him manage the allure of her.
He took a sip of coffee, hoping this conversation would go somewhere else.
”Now tell me, how do you like working here?”
”I like working here as much as any man probably likes working anywhere,” he said, ”which is to say, not very much.”
She tilted her head and looked at him with a curiosity that didn't make him feel threatened.
”It's challenging...,” he continued, feeling like he still wanted to tread lightly.
”I'm listening.”
”I can't say anymore.”
”Nathaniel,” she said, leaning toward him. ”I'm asking you because I want to know. I really do. I want to know why you don't like it and I want to make it better. Nothing bad is going to happen to you for speaking the truth.”
He laughed out loud at the irony of where he sat, who was talking to him, and what she said.
”Why are you laughing?”
”The tension in this room is so big that I'm surprised either of us can breathe,” he said, looking straight at her. ”I don't want to get myself fired,” he said. ”Or worse.”
”I give you my word. Just tell me.”
He took another sip of his coffee and pondered, wondering if this was a trick, but he trusted her. Maybe he shouldn't, but he did.
”Last time I was here, you told me about your favorite book,” he said.
”The Deahn book?”
”Yes, the one with the revenge theme,” he said with emphasis. ”Let me ask you a question. How do you think all the men feel working here or anywhere for that matter? Don't get me wrong,” he added quickly. ”I think you have made things better for men in the short time you've been here. Still, the changes you made are small, compared to what we need.”
”And that is?” she asked.
”I truly believe that inside every man in this country is a desire for equality,” he said, feeling liberated and afraid all at once. He had never said any of this aloud and certainly not to a woman. He hadn't talked about this with anyone but Brigg.
Shayla looked at him with compa.s.sionate eyes, the kind that he had never ever seen from a woman.
”This is hush, hush,” the Queen said over the phone, excitement filling her voice. ”Male infants will have micro chips injected under their skin while still in the hospital. It'll track them as they grow up. Women can point smart phones at men to read all about them at the Parties of Availability. The Tasers also benefit from this technology for immediate access to a man's age, medical records, but also the database of prior arrests, employment history etc....”
”I think you're making a huge mistake,” Shayla said. She was haunted by Nathaniel DeLuca's honesty. He had finally opened up and his words echoed the sentiment of her father's: men feel the burden of injustices that start with the Parties of Availability, and segue into total servitude, especially once married. It wasn't a surprise, but it was difficult to hear because she knew her mother, and previous grandmothers before her, were responsible for the way men were treated. She knew it wasn't going to do any good to stand up to her mother, but she had to at least try.
”Some day, my dear Shayla, you will understand. I hope,” the Queen said, quietly.
”Aren't you going a little overboard? I mean, what if men treated women this way?” Shayla asked in a purposely moderate voice. She knew it would enflame her mother, but she had to speak her mind. She thought of Nathaniel. She had already been on the path to pick up her father's legacy, but hearing Nathaniel's opinions made all her plans seem urgent.
She had even gone home the previous evening after hearing Nathaniel's candidness and pulled out her copy of Reminder of Truth, the gift from her father on his death bed. She hadn't read it in quite a while. If her mother ever found out she had it or where it came from ... Shayla couldn't imagine what she would do.
”Look at the rate of s.e.xual a.s.saults in America compared with other countries? We are LEADERS because we are forward thinking! Can't you see that?” The Queen asked with rhetorical venom.
”Okay, mother. You are right. You are always right.” Shayla should have known better than to speak her mind to her mother. She almost reminded her mother of all the homeless Spots but knew it would fall on deaf ears as she would undoubtedly talk about how they were ”comfortably sheltered.” Yes, that's true, as long as one considered ”comfort” personal s.p.a.ce the size of a refrigerator box with food that was akin to gruel from a d.i.c.kens novel.
”Do I have to remind you that your great grandmother was raped at age 14?”
”I know, and that was terrible, but not all men are rapists and evil the way you make them out to be,” Shayla said.
”s.e.xual a.s.saults and violence have been eradicated from our society. The only reason you can walk through a city park after dark with ease and freedom is because our first Queen pa.s.sed mandatory castration laws. I'm proud of her and what she stood for.”
”Are you proud of the fact that we're the oppressors? Just today I walked by a Taser who had a man strapped to a chair, in the middle of the park, with duct tape on his mouth...Isn't that a.s.sault?”
”We do that to keep the men safe. They crave that discipline, deep down,” the Queen said, not letting Shayla finish. ”At the core, men are uncontrollable animals. It's not their fault, you understand. We must help them, and that's what we have done. It's for their own good. It's for everyone's own good.”