Part 12 (1/2)
Frank laughed. ”It never goes away, honey.”
”Found that out the hard way. I guess I knew in my heart that nothing would change, but I stayed to maintain the status quo. I fooled myself into believing we were still a family that way, but really we were roommates pa.s.sing in the hall.” Street lamps scanned the interior of the cab, beamed across her hands in her lap. ”It really just goes cold that way. I swear I don't have any feelings for him besides a dull kind of loathing. Like I can't even bring myself to expend the energy to be angry anymore. Then there's Selah. It's not just about me and Thomas. I have to think about her. How everything will affect her.” Dejah leaned her head against the seat, shoulder slumping with exhaustion.
”If you get a divorce, you mean?”
”That and she has a ... some special talents,” she said, thinking back to when Selah's touch seemed to heal Reverend Forbes.
Frank nodded in the dark.
”Thomas and I never saw eye-to-eye on most things. It started out as small interests; things I liked irritated him, things he wanted to do sounded dull to me. That led into how the money was spent. In the beginning we had a good marriage. A good relations.h.i.+p. We'd started out as such good friends, I wanted to believe we could be one of those old couples together for half a century. That could finish each other's sentences. That knew what the other was thinking before they thought it.”
”That didn't happen, eh?”
Dejah shook her head. ”No. Never. I kept thinking we just needed more time. But, we were never on the same page. We grew apart. It's like, after all these years, I don't know him anymore. And he doesn't know me. And he never bothers to try. Like he doesn't even have any interest. I swear he doesn't even like me. I know that sounds so ... I don't know, immature, but ... it went farther than that. He liked to see me hurt inside. He seemed to derive joy from leaving me alone when I yearned to have him home. That I yearned to hear a kind word from him, so all he gave me were clipped sentences and mild insults.”
”That's a shame.”
Dejah sighed. ”I know. More so for Selah than for us.”
”He's a good father?” Frank asked.
”Oh, yeah. Dotes on Selah. He's a good dad and a good son. He just sucks at being a husband.”
”What are you going to do now? I mean, if you find him, after all this is over. a.s.suming of course, it's ever over.”
”I'm not sure. I can't think about that right now.” Dejah brushed the hair from her face, poking stray strands back into the long ponytail behind her head. ”I don't know if I love him or not. I think that I don't, but then, occasionally it seems to come back, but I don't know if that's just false hope or....”
”If you have to think about it - if you have to ask yourself the question - then you don't love him. Love don't work like that. When you love someone, really love someone - you'd claw your way through h.e.l.l and back to get to that person. There's no thinking involved in it.”
”You're probably right,” Dejah said.
”No probably about it, girl,” Frank stated. ”Look how old I am. I'm old as sedimentary rock.”
Dejah laughed.
”I've learned a few things. The most important thing is love. Having it, giving it. Life's too short to hope for something better. Life's too short to try to make something what it ain't. Find your soul mate. Find the man that makes you claw your way through h.e.l.l to get to him. Just like you're doing for your daughter,” Frank said. ”Because, when you love someone, you don't have to think about it and wonder if it's true.”
”Did you and Nanette have that?”
”I loved her so much I was willing to shoot her if she came back a Sickie.”
Dejah felt a pang of hurt for him.
”To be truthful,” he said. ”I can't imagine living without her. I don't even know where to start. I think that's why I wanted to stay holed up back there in the Bocadomart.” Frank turned the Hummer sharply, veering from the road onto a shoulder to get around a wrecked Corvette and a Volkswagen Bug.
They'd left Lancaster behind now. Hills thick with forest pressed in on both sides of the highway as it began to veer north, toward Mesquite. Dejah's heart sped up anxiously, knowing they were closer.
”You really think you would have stayed there had me and Shaun not come along?” Dejah asked, holding onto the armrest on the door as they b.u.mped over a motorcycle on its side in their lane.
”I really think I would have eaten a bullet sooner or later had you and Shaun not come along.”
Dejah stared at Frank, illuminated by the soft white glow of the dashboard, her eyes growing a little wider. ”It's a good thing we came along then.”
Frank jerked the Hummer to the left again, missing a pile of corpses. ”Is it?”
Before Dejah could answer, they came to a pile-up with cars stacked b.u.mper to b.u.mper. It was obvious cars had tried to squeeze past others, and only ended up getting wedged tighter against those attempting the same feat. There was no way around the pile-up.
”Can we turn around?” she asked.
Frank turned his head, s.h.i.+fting in the seat, and put the Hummer in reverse. The car moved backward slightly, and then Frank shook his head, changing his mind. He s.h.i.+fted back into Drive.
”What are you doing?” Dejah asked.
”I think we can just go over the tops of that Miata and that other little piece of foreign s.h.i.+t over there-” he pointed to a slick black convertible that looked like an oversized Barbie car.
”I don't know. Maybe we should turn around and look for an exit or something.”
”Naw, we can make it.” Frank slammed the truck into reverse again, speeding backward, then threw the gears.h.i.+ft into Drive once more, and raced toward the Miata, intending to ramp up and over the two diminutive vehicles. Dejah gripped the pa.s.senger's roof handle. The b.u.mper of the Hummer hit the top of the Miata, emitting a metallic crunch. The vehicle shuddered and wobbled.
”Hold on!” Frank said, voice loud over the impact.
The Hummer lurched forward, throwing Shaun against the back of Dejah's seat, waking him from his slumber. ”What's happening?” His fingers clenched the leather seat. His head smacked the side of the cab. He groaned and his eyes rolled.
”Shaun!” Dejah tried to grab onto Shaun's bobbing head, but her seatbelt held her to her seat. Blood oozed over Shaun's face, streaming from a cut at his temple.
The Hummer shot into the air at an awkward angle, wheels spinning, motor revving.
”Frank!” Dejah screamed, as the Hummer plunged sideways, rolled over a Jeep, and careened directly into the back of an eighteen-wheeler.
CHAPTER 19.
A government trailer served as the main clinic in the new quarantine camp near the sh.o.r.eline of Lake Tawakoni. Dr. Josh Gutierrez leaned against the rail of rickety stairs leading to its front door and gazed across the lake. The reflection of the moon was a mirage-like s.h.i.+mmer on the surface of the waves. The night wind was crisp.
He lit a cigarette and deeply inhaled, letting the head rush come over him. Dr. Robbins would have his a.s.s if he knew he was smoking in the camp, but Dr. Robbins wasn't here. He was safe and warm back in his hospital lab working on an antidote for Toxin RE68. Gutierrez was the unfortunate sucker who got ”promoted” to head the quarantine camp out here near H-Systems.
Colonel Weir had trucked in Army surplus tents and a few FEMA type trailers for use as hospital wards and clinics out here on some rambling forested cattle farm owned by one of the hospital board members. The tents were already packed with patients. Ambulance workers were bringing in a handful of infected people as Gutierrez smoked his frowned-upon cigarette. It was a bad habit, he'd give Robbins that, but he'd been smoking since he was an undergrad and it was hard to quit. It was especially hard to quit now.
Not that there was ever a good time to quit smoking.
His phone rang. Gutierrez fumbled in his pockets for a moment, then palmed it to his ear. ”Gutierrez.”
”Josh, glad I caught you.” It was Robbins.
”Did Weir manage to get any additional s.h.i.+pments of sedatives sent?”
”That's why I'm calling-” His tone didn't sound promising.