Part 12 (1/2)

Give my love to my sisters, Lydia Miss Lydia Bennet to Miss Kitty Bennet Brighton, May 30 Kitty, you would die if you could see what we have all been up to here, we have been sea bathing, Harriet and I went in our underwear, DO NOT LET MAMA OR ANYONE ELSE KNOW. Things are different in Brighton, not so stuffy as they are at home. Lord! What fun we have. The men are all wild for me, I have a dozen different flirts. There are parties every night and I went to one last night dressed as a man. I borrowed Denny's coat and breeches and wore a piece of wool as a moustache, I thought I would die laughing. Wickham was in on the joke, he laughed as much as anyone. There are a lot of new officers here, Jakes and Little and Madison, and a whole host of others, all laughing and joking and teasing and dancing and flirting; well most of them anyway. Some of them are ancient, friends of Colonel Forster's who are here on leave, and all they talk about is the war. I am glad I am not married to Colonel Forster, he is far too old and stuffy, poor Harriet! She should have married Denny. Lord! Was there ever such a place as Brighton? Tomorrow we are going to have a bathing party by moonlight, I have bought a new bathing dress, it is quite scandalous. DO NOT TELL ANYONE.

Lydia

JUNE.

Colonel Fitzwilliam to Mr Darcy Brighton, June 2 Darcy, I am home on leave and am visiting friends in Brighton before heading north. Colonel Forster is here and asks me to remember him to you. His wife is here, too, and a prettier creature it would be hard to imagine. She is young and gay and it is a pleasure to see her enjoying herself. She has a friend with her, a Miss Lydia Bennet. I cannot help wondering if she is any relation to your Miss Elizabeth Bennet-though perhaps I should not call her your Miss Elizabeth, as I am sure you will have overcome your feelings for her now. I have not yet seen Miss Lydia so I do not know if there is any resemblance, but I mean to ask her if there is a relations.h.i.+p when we meet.

Another acquaintance is here, and one less welcome: George Wickham. He bowed when he saw me but looked uncomfortable, as well he might. I was tempted to call him out but did not want to cause a scandal: any action I take against him would lead to speculation and that is something I am determined to avoid. If not for this, I would gladly run him through.

How is my ward? Growing more beautiful every day, I am sure. I hear you are in Wilts.h.i.+re at the moment: Mama knows everything! She and Maud are hoping for news of Philip's intended, so you must write to them and let them know your opinion of her. Philip will have chosen some paragon, I am sure, but what is she really like? We rely on you to tell us.

My sister Maud will soon be presenting you with another G.o.dchild, so you must look about you for a christening present.

I do not believe I will have time to call in at Wilts.h.i.+re on my way north to see my family, but I hope to see you in London, either on my way up to c.u.mbria or on my way back down again. When will you be leaving Wilts.h.i.+re? I must be back with my regiment in a few weeks' time. I would be there now if not for this confounded injury. With the French advancing towards Turin my place is on the Continent, not here, but I am little use as I am. I cannot sit a horse nor walk for any length of time and my right arm will not do my bidding. I only hope the Austrians throw Napoleon out of Italy and save me the trouble.

Your cousin, Henry Mr Darcy to Colonel Fitzwilliam Wilts.h.i.+re, June 4 Henry, it is good to hear from you, though frustrating for you to be home at such a time. The war shows no sign of ending and if not for the troops stationed at Brighton and other likely landing spots, we would be in some danger of Napoleon invading these sh.o.r.es. But the Channel protects us, as it has done before.

I did not know you had been injured. Would you like my physician to attend you? I can send him down to Brighton if you think he would be of use.

I will be returning to London in a few days' time. Georgiana is hosting a picnic on the seventh and we must be there for that. You are welcome to join us. If you will not be returning to London so soon, then call in at Darcy House whenever you arrive; you know you are always welcome.

You ask about Philip's intended bride. She is everything you imagine: beautiful, accomplished, elegant, well-bred, and yet-Henry, it is not enough. It is enough for Philip, he is pleased with his choice and she with him, but it is not enough for me. There are two similar females here, they possess everything a man could require of a wife, and yet I have no wish to marry either of them. I am happy to escort them in to dinner, to dance with them and converse with them, but to spend the rest of my life with them? No. I already know everything about them. There is nothing to discover, nothing to intrigue or stimulate. They never change. Their thoughts and feelings are what they were a year ago, and will be the same when another year has gone by. Marriage to either one of them would be like bathing in tepid water: nothing to complain of, but nothing to desire either.

You will tell from this that I have not forgotten Elizabeth. I have tried, but the more I see of other women, the more I know that Elizabeth is the only one I have ever wished to marry. She is not perfect-far from it-but it is her flaws and imperfections that entrance me-those, and her eyes. I want to see them looking back at me across the breakfast table; I want to see them sparkling with mischief as she teases me; I want to see them widen as I show her all the delights of Pemberley and offer them to her, not with arrogance but with humility.

But it is pointless to think of such things.

I am beginning to wish I had not encouraged Bingley to leave the neighbourhood. But of what use would it be for me to return there? Elizabeth made her feelings for me clear; though perhaps it would lessen her ill opinion of me if she could see that some of her reproofs have been attended to.

But this is idle speculation. I will torment myself with it no more.

Come to us as soon as you can in London; Georgiana is longing to see you.

Your cousin, Darcy Colonel Fitzwilliam to Mr Darcy Brighton, June 5 I will not be in town in time for your picnic, alas. I am here with Wilkins and I am at his disposal. He arranges the business just as he pleases: the privilege of wealth! I do not think we will remain here very much longer, however, and I hope to join you in London soon. I will be glad to see you again but I will be sorry to leave Brighton. The sea breeze is refres.h.i.+ng and the fishermen's nets set out to dry on the Steine give the place charm.

You must bring Georgiana here for the summer, Darcy; the sea air will do her good and the south coast will not have the unpleasant memories for her that the east coast must have. The pleasure gardens, the promenades and the libraries will amuse her. They are all flouris.h.i.+ng, thanks to the patronage of the Prince of Wales, who spends more and more of his time here. They say he means to leave London altogether and live in Brighton permanently. It is certainly possible; he is enlarging his marine pavilion and making it fit for a prince. It is a very handsome dwelling, but even so I think he is in error for spending so much on his amus.e.m.e.nts when the country is at war. He ought to be retrenching so that he can better equip the troops. I said so only last night to Colonel Forster when we dined together.

By the bye, Forster's wife's friend, Miss Lydia Bennet, is indeed a relation of your Miss Elizabeth, a sister. I have seen her only once, briefly, as she was going out with Colonel Forster's wife, but I had a chance to speak to her and ascertained that her family were well before she set off for the shops with Harriet. It amazes me that women can spend so much time shopping, but Lydia and Harriet look very well on it.

Look for me on the sixteenth.

Henry Miss Elizabeth Bennet to Miss Susan Sotherton Longbourn, Hertfords.h.i.+re, June 20 Dear Susan, It is very quiet here at Longbourn. Kitty has at last given over lamenting her absence from the Brighton scheme and consoles herself with reading and re-reading her letters from Lydia. She keeps them close and runs out of the room with them if anyone draws near her. I dread to think what they contain; stories of flirtations, most likely, and the names of a dozen officers. The letters are all so heavily underlined it is a wonder there is any paper left to write them on! I laugh, but all the same, I wish my father had been more sensible of the dangers to Lydia of such a trip. She is heedless and headstrong and loves to be the centre of attention, and I fear this trip will be the death warrant of all possibility of common sense for her. To put such a girl, at the tender age of fifteen, in the way of dozens of young men who are all bored and away from home, is to put temptation in her way, and Lydia has never known how to resist temptation. Her behaviour in Meryton was abominable; how much worse must it be in Brighton, with no one there to curb her worst excesses? I can only hope that the young men are better able to control themselves than Lydia is, and that my father is right when he says that Colonel Forster will see that no harm comes to her.

Mary continues to try Mama's nerves with her constant practise on the pianoforte, and if not for Jane I would not know what to do. But with Jane's companions.h.i.+p I can bear anything. How she came to be so different from my other sisters I do not know, but she is everything Kitty is not. She bears her disappointment without complaint and busies herself about the house, treating Mama with her usual calm patience and providing me with a confidante when I feel I must talk of Mr Darcy or burst. How can I have been so wrong about him? How can I not have seen him for the man he is, and instead seen him for a man he is not? I thought myself so clever when I teased him, and yet I could not have been more mistaken. But I am well rewarded for it, am I not? For I never think of him now without mortification and shame, and I cannot help thinking of what might have been...that is, until I remember that he parted Jane and Bingley, and then I regret neither him nor Pemberley nor his ten thousand a year! You see, I can laugh at myself still, and a good thing, too, or I fear I should go into a decline!

Mama, I am sure, would be very pleased if I did-it would add to her consequence to have a daughter who was brought low by love. As it is, she continues to lament the absence of Mr Bingley, saying that she will never mention him again and then talking of him in the very next breath. I spare Jane from these outbursts as often as I can by listening to them myself and by turning Mama's thoughts into a happier direction, though unfortunately that direction is always towards Lydia and how many flirts she has in Brighton. I am not surprised that Papa has retreated to his library and emerges only at mealtimes.

And so now I am looking forward to my trip with my aunt and uncle. We cannot go to the Lakes as we planned, for my uncle cannot spend so long away from his business, and my aunt has suggested that we go to Derbys.h.i.+re instead. I was taken aback by the suggestion, but I did not hesitate for long before writing and agreeing to the change, for I might venture into Derbys.h.i.+re, I think, without meeting Mr Darcy. It is a large enough place. And a good thing, too, for what would I say to him if I were to meet him again? It would be humiliating. And yet I cannot help wis.h.i.+ng that I had had a chance to speak to him after receiving his letter.

And that, my dear Susan, is all my news.

Your loving friend, Lizzy Mr Philip Darcy to Mr Darcy Wilts.h.i.+re, June 24 Darcy, We have set a date for the wedding: December 4. You will be receiving an invitation any day now. It will be a grand affair held in the cathedral and we look forward to seeing you there.

PD.

Mr Darcy to Mr Philip Darcy Darcy House, London, June 26 My dear Philip, I am glad your affairs are prospering and I look forward to seeing you married. It is good to know that at least one of us will be continuing the Darcy name. I only wish my own affairs were going half so well. I have tried to forget Elizabeth Bennet but there is always something to remind me of her. Only yesterday Henry dined with me-he is in town once again after a spell in Brighton-and I learnt something disastrous to my peace of mind. When I revealed that I regretted my interference in Bingley's affairs, Henry said that I agreed with Miss Elizabeth Bennet, then. When I looked surprised, he said that he had mentioned the matter to Elizabeth when they walked together at Rosings. Oh, not by name, nor in any great detail: he said only that I had saved a friend from the inconveniences of an imprudent marriage, and that there were strong objections to the lady. He meant to show me in a good light, never suspecting that Elizabeth was a relative of the lady involved, but she must have guessed that the friend in question was Bingley and that the lady was her sister. Small wonder then that she was angry, both when speaking to Henry-she told him that I had had no right to interfere-and when rejecting me. I admire her for her anger, and for her partiality, though at first it exasperated me, for what kind of woman would she be if she could stand by and hear a beloved sister abused in such a way? It cannot have been pleasant for her to hear of the matter spoken of in such a casual way, nor can it have been pleasant for her to think that anyone could object to her sister. I confess that as to Miss Bennet herself, there cannot be any rational objection. She is a very pretty girl, sweet natured and good-hearted, and singularly untainted by the vulgarity of the majority of her family. Moreover, she has an optimistic temperament that suits Bingley's own. If he seems no happier in another month then I mean to give him a hint that a return to Netherfield would not be a bad thing. I once thought he would make a good husband for Georgiana but I no longer think they will suit.

Darcy Mr Philip Darcy to Mr Darcy Wilts.h.i.+re, June 28 I am sorry to hear that you have still not recovered from your infatuation, but I could not agree with you more when you say that Bingley and Georgiana will not suit. He is a pleasant enough young man but his family are in trade and I once had the misfortune of meeting his mother. He is not nearly good enough for Georgiana; she can look far higher for a husband. I have one or two young men in mind for her, and I will introduce you to them the next time you are in Wilts.h.i.+re. Better yet, I will introduce you to them at the wedding, and Georgiana, too. It will be just the right atmosphere for the introduction. They are both the kind of men she should be marrying.

PD.

JULY.

Miss Georgiana Darcy to Miss Anne de Bourgh Darcy House, London, July 9 Dearest, dearest coz, It seems an age since I have seen you. You will come and stay with us at Pemberley, won't you, when we go there for the summer? It will not be long before we go; indeed, Fitzwilliam is already there, overseeing plans for the house party next month and making sure that work is progressing on the orangery. He will be returning to London shortly and then he will be escorting me back to Derbys.h.i.+re. Oh, I am so looking forward to it. I am tired of London, though I dare say I am ungrateful, for Fitzwilliam arranged a host of picnics and parties for me, and took me to all the museums and galleries. But I am longing to be in the country once again. Ullswater is looking forward to it, too. She will much prefer to be there, where she can run around to her heart's content and sniff and nose about in the shrubberies without anyone bothering her or telling her it is time to go home.

Caroline Bingley will be joining us, and her brother and sister, but although she is very accomplished and I like singing and playing duets with her, I cannot talk to her as I can to you. I believe she wants me to marry her brother-she is always telling me what a good, kind man he is-but I have no wish to marry him. Charles is a kind friend, but I dream of love and I do not love him.

I have guessed your secret. I believe you are in love with my guardian. I do not know why I did not see it before. I was too young, I suppose, but happening to take out your letters the other day in order to renew the ribbon tying them about, I read them again. How long have you been in love with him? Is he to visit you at Rosings? Or will you be able to persuade your mama to take you to c.u.mbria to visit his family?

I believe that Fitzwilliam, too, is in love. He has been distracted recently and he has spoken to me of love and marriage more often than formerly. He keeps telling me that I will be able to marry whomsoever I choose and that he will not stand in my way if I truly love a good and honourable man who deserves me, whatever his background might be. It might be idle fancy on my part, but I think not.

I wondered if Caroline Bingley was his choice. That would seem to explain his remarks about a lover's background, but I am certain she is not good enough for Fitzwilliam, and besides, he would tell me if it were Caroline. But I can think of no one else in our intimate circle who might have won him. Can you? Whoever the lady is, she must be very special to have captured Fitzwilliam's heart and I am sure an announcement cannot be long in coming. I speak with a sister's partiality, but I truly believe that no better man lives, and that any woman would be lucky to marry him.

Write to me soon.

Your loving cousin, Georgiana Miss Anne de Bourgh to Miss Georgiana Darcy Rosings Park, Kent, July 11 What a relief it is to be able to speak of it at last! You have guessed correctly, dear coz, I am in love with your guardian and always have been, ever since we were children. He has always been so good to me and has always paid such kind attention to me that it has kindled in me a long-lasting affection which eventually deepened into love. But alas! he does not see me, or if he does, he sees me not as a woman, but as a sickly creature he has known all his life.

Oh, this confounded illness! If only I were healthy, I could go for long country walks and put some colour into my cheeks. I could eat more and fill out my figure so that I would look more womanly, and buy some lower-cut dresses instead of the high-necked gowns that Mama always forces me to wear. I have no desire to flaunt myself indecently, but it is very hard to be starched up to the ears when everyone else is looking devastatingly beautiful in scoop-necked gowns. If I could only be well enough to go to London and look around the shops, I would encase myself in colourful silk from head to foot instead of the grey brocade Mama thinks so suitable. Then he would look at me in the way he looked at Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

I am not surprised he was drawn to her, both men were, Henry and your brother. She was so lively and healthy looking, with her bright eyes and her pink cheeks and her air of youth and vigour; whereas my air is one of tiredness. And her clothes! Nothing vulgar, but at the same time they could not help but display her figure, which believe me was noticeable, though she seemed unaware of it herself.

I go out in my phaeton whenever I can to improve my looks, and I am sure I could walk if Mama would only let me, but she says it would tire me too much. I sometimes think it is sitting indoors all day long that tires me, and that brisk exercise would instead put new life into me. But alas! When I said as much to Mama, I was unfortunately seized with a coughing fit, which led her to raise her eyebrows and declare that I was delicate and must not think of going out of doors on foot.

But hold. I wonder if Elizabeth Bennet is the woman who has entranced Darcy? He was certainly very attentive to her when she was here. He walked over to the parsonage almost every day and he has never done that before. The only differences between this year and last were the presence of the new Mrs Collins and Miss Elizabeth. Since I cannot imagine Darcy putting himself out for Mrs Collins, who is very pleasant but unremarkable, I can only think he went there to see Miss Elizabeth.

If he is in love with her, I hope he marries her. In fact, I hope he marries anyone, as long as the woman is not me. Mama has always wanted a match between us but I could not marry him, even if I were not in love with Henry. You are right, dear coz, Darcy is one of the n.o.blest men alive, but he frightens me. He is so very determined. He needs a stronger woman than I to be his wife. Miss Elizabeth, though, was not in awe of him; she teased him in a way that astonished me. She would make him an excellent wife. Her liveliness would counteract his stateliness and she would be a merry sister for you, and a merry cousin for me. But no, it cannot be. If she were the woman, then Darcy would have proposed by now and she would have accepted him, and we would all know of it. Unless they are waiting for her father's permission? It is interesting to speculate. But it is probably someone else who has caught his eye, or no one at all. I do hope there is a woman and that she is Elizabeth. Would it not be fun?

You must tell me if you hear anything more about a wife for Darcy, and send me any news you may have about Henry. I treasure everything I hear about him and I rely on you, since no one else knows my secret. I sometimes think I should make my feelings clear to him but alas! I am a woman and we are not allowed to do such things, otherwise I would gladly shout my love from the rooftops. Imagine Mama's face if I did! And imagine Mr Collins's face as he tried to decide whether to applaud me for my honesty or revile me for my forwardness, wondering all the time what Mama's reaction might be! I have half a mind to do it, just to see.