Part 22 (1/2)
”No. She seems strong and sure of herself. All the things I could hope for.”
”And if love and anger are strongly tied, it fits that your answer of hope seems to be the perfect counter to fear. You see, what gives you strength, what pushes you forward, is opposite to Cain. Even in summoning a sword named Xanthe, you each could tie your own personal meaning to it.”
”So why won't it answer my call?” Gwynn asked. ”Is it because Cain took my right arm?”
”No. We may wear our markings as Anunnaki on our right arm, but the power is within our genes. That can't be severed with a limb. Xanthe no longer answers your call because you fear it. In your story, you summoned it using many of the same emotions Cain is driven by. And now you carry the burden of being the destroyer of worlds. You fear becoming Cain, or that you have already become Cain, and so you shun anything a.s.sociated with him.”
”I...”
Marduk grasped Gwynn's shoulders.
”Stop denying yourself. You were duped into committing something you view as an atrocity. A part of you cannot let go of the guilt. You are afraid to admit the truth of yourself.”
”My truth, or the one you want to choose for me?”
Marduk's head fell back with a roar of laughter.
”Ah, she said you would be a quick student. No, this truth is simple to see, and it is also obvious why you refuse to take owners.h.i.+p of it. Admit the truth-you think you deserve punishment, that you deserve misery. Instead, you are happier than you can recall. You have mourned ones you loved and lost, you carry the weight of your deeds like a modern Atlas. At the moment you summoned Xanthe, and I imagine in the months following, your emotions were clear-it was easy to feel the darker moods which birthed the sword for Cain. But now you are happy, content, even though you think you should not be. Stop causing yourself conflict. Love and hope. These are not things to battle Cain with, they are the things that set you apart. The library is saying you are not Cain, you will never be Cain, because you are defined by his opposites. Stop fearing and denying aspects of yourself. You must be whole before you can be strong.”
Gwynn returned to the bookshelf and returned the book. As his hand left it, the spine went blank once more.
”You know, in the past seven years, I've heard time and again what happened wasn't my fault. But those words never help.”
Marduk extended his left hand. Gwynn took it after some hesitation.
”I forgive you,” Marduk said.
”What?”
”The G.o.d of judgement has heard your words and seen your soul. You do not need pandering. You destroyed lives in the trillions. But it was not your desire or intent. You were a victim of deception, yes, but it does not mean you escape blame completely. So, instead of lying to you, I say you did this thing. The worlds we inhabit have been forever changed by your actions. But I forgive you.”
Gwynn's throat constricted. It was difficult, but he managed to say, ”Thank you.”
”I brought you here to provide focus, and to help dispel your fear of becoming what you hate. The true learning of your strength and story lies outside the door. I will not go with you this time. When you push the door open, you will be exposed to the true immensity of the Veil. Since my soul no longer s.h.i.+elds you, your own will come and you will face it. Saying ”face it” is an over-simplification. You will need to confront every aspect of your soul-even those parts you shun. Only when you have done this and survived, will you be ready.”
”How will I know when it's over?”
”If you have enough of a mind left,” Marduk said, ”that will be answer enough.”
Gwynn approached the door and pushed it open only a crack.
”If I fail, you'll tell them I loved them, won't you?”
Marduk nodded.
”I will say you cherished their love-that I saw proof it was the thing which defined you. But when you return, you can deliver the message yourself.”
”Thanks. I'll do my best.”
Gwynn pushed the door open all the way and stepped over the threshold.
13.
Quetzalcoatl
They'd reached the southernmost sh.o.r.e of Cyprus just as alarms sounded the end of their fuel reserves. Jason managed to set the chopper down on nothing but vapours.
Fuyuko searched her contacts and stabbed at the screen when she found the number she needed.
”Miss Takeda, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Zeus answered.
”Lord Zeus, I'm hoping you would see fit to give us some aid.”
”I may be convinced. What are your needs?”
Fuyuko motioned to Toms for his phone. She opened a GPS app and pinged their location.
”We're a few miles west of Lima.s.sol on the island of Cyprus. I was hoping you might be able to arrange transport for us from here to Larnaca International Airport. Lord Quetzalcoatl is arranging for our flight home from there.”
Zeus laughed.
”He can arrange an aircraft from Larnaca, but he can't get a vehicle out to pick you up?”
”Lord Zeus, it was his opinion that since the lands of Cyprus fall within your purview we should first ask your permission before travelling the distance across land. Also, we thought you would be the best person to ensure the transport was...trustworthy.”
She waited, an extended silence came from the other side.
”How many did you lose?” he finally asked.
”Twenty-six. I've already put my request in to lead the forces to suppress Anubis.”
Zeus sighed.
”A ground war will go on too long and over extend our forces. We should just carpet bomb the entire country.”
Fuyuko didn't answer. He was right, of course. But his solution meant heavy casualties of non-combatants-the thought caused a twisting sensation in her lower abdomen.
”Well,” Zeus said, ”these are all things the Pantheon will have to decide at a later date. Yes, Fuyuko, I will arrange safe transport for you. I have some trustworthy individuals in Lima.s.sol, so they shouldn't be too long. What are your coordinates?”
She read the lat/lon from Toms' phone.
”I'll contact them immediately. We'll talk again, Miss Takeda.”
”Thank you for your a.s.sistance, Lord Zeus.”