Part 21 (1/2)

Two minutes into the third period, Evan was back on the ice as they set up for a face-off in the Sharks' zone.

All around us people were jumping up from their seats and shouting. My first thought was we scored but there was no foghorn, no music, and no lights.

My eyes flickered to the left of the Sharks' goal, searching for the cause, just in time to see Evan drop his gloves. He discarded his stick before lunging at Dave, who'd already done away with his own stick and gloves.

”What happened?” I asked Callie, trying to see over the fans pounding on the gla.s.s in front of us.

”I don't know,” Callie answered, though I didn't s.h.i.+ft my focus from Evan. I whimpered when Dave threw a solid punch to his stomach. It looked like Evan didn't even register the blow as he steadily advanced on him again.

The refs hung back, watching for any signs either had enough, but no one stepped in. Players from both sides started confronting each other, trash talking and getting in each other's faces, and a few started throwing punches.

The crowd went wild.

Penalty shot A free shot awarded to a player who was illegally interfered with, preventing him from a clear scoring opportunity. The shot is taken with only the goalie guarding against it.

Against his better judgment, Coach played me in that game. It was probably the worst mistake he'd ever made.

My mouth was dry. I kept drinking water as though it would help, but nothing would. Not feeling like myself, I kept tripping and even dropped my stick a few times. I was probably the most aggressive I had ever been on the ice. It could have been my body's reaction to stay away from Dave, knowing that if I got near him, I would have killed him. I should have been ejected.

Dave's s.h.i.+fty gaze throughout the game confirmed my suspicions. I thought back and everything about that night finally made sense.

”What's with you?” Leo shoved against me as we shuffled down the bench. I grunted a response but didn't speak. I wasn't sure if I could.

”Where the f.u.c.k were you?” Coach smacked the back of my head. ”When he crosses over like that, you gotta f.u.c.king nail him! G.o.dd.a.m.n it, Mase! Get your s.h.i.+t together!”

I nodded, only speaking in sighs and blinks and nods, pretending I heard him, but I heard nothing. I wasn't there. I wasn't anywhere but lost in my own f.u.c.king thoughts. No sensation, no sight, no sound, only f.u.c.king anger. When the numbness swallowed me whole, I knew I was about to react.

I had no idea where the game was at, who was leading, or any other stat I usually always knew. Instead, I had one focus, one thought, one outcome.

On the ice again, with a minute left, we faced off on the line together. My hands were shaking, my stomach clenching. If I had anything left in my stomach I would have lost it on the ice. I knew when Dave looked up at me during that face off, he knew that I knew.

I couldn't see straight; anger was feeding me with adrenaline, pumping blood through my veins, a deadly combination. Every bone in my body ached, my muscles clenching and strangling. The beat of my heart was loud, drowning, and suffocating. I swallowed back the bile rising up my throat.

I blinked.

I tried to breathe.

I tried to be numb.

Leaning forward in a crouched position, I rested my arms against my thighs, my gaze caught Ami staring at me, her hand over her mouth. She knew something was wrong. She saw me now. She felt me now. She knew me.

I blinked.

I tried to f.u.c.king breathe.

Being numb wouldn't work. Too much about this girl was inside of me. Too much anger. Too much guilt. Too much heart.

I blinked. This time, the motion exaggerated.

”You want it, don't you? I bet you like it rough.”

”How are you and the ballerina doin'?”

The warning chirp of the whistle brought me back. Leo was nudging Bomber with his stick, one eye on me, his head turning to the ref and then me again. Leo knew. His jaw clenched, and his eyes were wild.

My eyes flickered to Dave, gritting his teeth. Sweat mixed with the blood from earlier and it streamed down my face, hot against my cool skin. I blew out a breath.

Anger pulsed through my body; my hands clenched inside my gloves.

Those images returned.

When the whistle blew, the puck dropped, the sound of plastic sc.r.a.ping over the ice rattled, but everything was still for me.

I blinked.

I tried to breathe.

I tried to be numb.

Dave stood from his crouching position, and I followed his action. I was famous for fighting with my heart. Ask my parents. Ask my friends. Ask Ami. Right now, it was all I had, fighting with my heart.

My breath hitched as I let my stick and gloves fall to the ice. The sound, so loud, so defining because this was it. This was me giving in.

Closing my eyes, I took in one deep breath, the action strangled. My lungs filled with evil; it was forced and shallow.

He circled me.

The part that got me the most was not only was he my friend, my teammate, my boy, but he took something from a girl in such a brutal f.u.c.king way, something she could never get back.

”Why?” My voice was barely above a whisper.

He heard me, his head angled to the sound of my voice. He shrugged, a bitter laugh. ”It wasn't personal, Mase. She's just a girl.”

”Just a girl?” I choked, trying to swallow.

”Yes. Just a girl. To anyone else she was just another puck bunny who got frisky.”

”You nearly killed her!” I barked, Leo was near me now, skating by and trying to push me back. Shoving Leo backward, I didn't even look to see if I did damage. I finally had that numbness. ”You knew what you did, didn't you? You knew when I said I had taken a girl to the hospital that night, didn't you? f.u.c.king admit it.”

”I knew. What do you want me to say?”

His casualness p.i.s.sed me off. I had these memories. They haunted me. And now, staring at him, it was like they were real again. They were happening now. I could smell the blood, feel the chill of that night, hear her moan, watch her wrenching in pain, and now I see him standing over her.

My fist clenched again at the memory, my knuckles white. The memory was not a memory any longer; it was a f.u.c.king nightmare.

”She was virgin...” I gasped, trying to hold on. I sounded desperate, and I was. ”Did you know that?”

I watched him. I wanted a reaction out of him. Something that told me he was sorry or that he never meant to hurt her the way he did. I got none of that because you couldn't get a reaction out of someone who didn't give a s.h.i.+t.

”Oh, come on!” Dave rolled his eyes, shaking his head in disgust. His teammates began circling, and refs got in between, shoving us backward. ”Why does it even matter?”