Part 11 (2/2)
”But _you_ never came--not even when I wrote and asked you--did you know how cruel you were? My company was young and thoughtless--no one cared for me--I longed to see your face you never came--I have been very lonely--but _now_! Oh, you cannot tell what a pleasure it is to have someone to talk to who does not regard tennis and golf as the chief end and duty of man,” and she smiled and laid her jeweled white hand confidingly on his.
[Ill.u.s.tration: ”She smiled and laid her jeweled white hand confidingly on his”]
He was much astonished, but also greatly touched, by her frankness and evident joy in his presence; and, as any other man would have done, he accepted her gracious kindness without doubt or consideration. Her pretty face, full of sympathetic revelations, and her flattering words went like wine to his head and heart, his eyes dilated with pleasure, and he clasped the hand she had laid upon his own. Its soft warmth, its slight pressure, the tender smile on her lips, the love light in her eyes, were to his starving soul irresistible temptations. But he never thought of these things as temptations; if he had done so, there was in him a Will gigantic enough to have put them behind him. As a man dying of thirst would have seized a gla.s.s of cold water, so his soul, famis.h.i.+ng for love, took hastily, greedily, the astonis.h.i.+ng blessing offered him. Scarcely could he believe in his happiness; yet fast, oh, so fast, he forgot everything before this hour! And when he left Cramer it was with his heart like a spring br.i.m.m.i.n.g over with love.
Under the sweet strength of the stars he walked home. He felt that he could not meet Mrs. Caird until he had communed with himself in the silence and solitude of the night. His whole life, without his expectation or conscious desire, had been changed. Something wonderful had taken place. He thought he had loved before, but this startling, unforeseen, and unmistakable pa.s.sion filled him with rapture and a kind of sacred fear. He had in no way sought it. By some Power far above him it had been sent. Yet his beating heart, his strange joy, his firm step, active brain, and glad outlook on life taught him that all the long years of his ascetic rejection of love must have been a mistake.
When he reached home he had not decided whether it would be prudent to tell his sister-in-law of the new joy that had come into his life. His nature was reticent, and he felt a keen personal pleasure in the secrecy of his love. He did not dream of her suspecting or discovering it. He found her sitting on the little porch absolutely idle. He was astonished at the circ.u.mstance, and more so at her face and manner, which were both sad and weary.
”Are you sick, Jessy,” he asked, ”or have I stayed too long at the Hall?”
”You are sooner home than I expected. How are all there?”
”No one is there at present but Lady Cramer. We had dinner together, and I came away as soon as I could well leave. She is very lonely.”
”So am I, for that matter.”
”Marion is with you.”
”In a way, not much. Her heart is at Oban or thereabout.”
”Lady Cramer told me that Lord Cramer and Donald had gone on a tramp together. They are walking through the western highlands. It did not please me.”
”And why not?”
”Because it is strengthening Donald's love of adventure and change. I wanted him to rest quietly here until we returned to Glasgow. Then I hoped he would be willing and glad to enter St. Andrews, and to settle down to the life I intended for him.”
”If he had stayed here, I think he would have regarded St. Andrews with delight. The company of hundreds of young men, the pleasant city, and the fine golf ground would make St. Andrews--after a month of this place--a very Elysium of satisfaction.”
”I thought this place was like the Garden of Eden to you.”
”I don't blame Eve, if it is. All right for a settled woman like me, and yet I, myself, am missing my afternoon callers and the library. And the two la.s.ses are growing surly for want of company. Aileen was saying an hour ago that, 'If there was only a constable, and a hand-organ pa.s.sing now and then,' she could bear the loneliness better.”
”As for me, I like it more and more. I am thinking of asking the Church to get a supply for a month. I feel a little rest to be necessary.”
”I feel as if I had had enough of the country.”
”What does Marion say?”
”She is as happy here as anywhere. All places are wearisome to those who live for a person who is not in the place.”
”And Lady Cramer tells me that her stepson is miserable if he is not with Donald. She says they are inseparable and very unhappy if apart.”
”Like to like, the wide world over.”
”But they are not alike.”
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