Part 55 (2/2)
”The result is that I have changed my mind.”
”What do you say?”
”I say that, with your permission, I will marry M. de Clagny.”
”Nonsense! you won't do anything of the kind.”
”Why not?”
”Because it would be madness.”
”Why, no, grandmamma, it would be very wise, on the contrary; if I did not marry him, I should never again all my life long have a minute's peace.”
”Because?--”
”Because I have seen that he is dreadfully and horribly unhappy.”
”No doubt; but that will all be forgotten in time.”
”Oh, no, it won't be forgotten! And I told you I like M. de Clagny more than I have ever liked anyone--except you; and so the idea that he is wretched on my account--and, perhaps, a little through my fault--would seem odious to me, and would make me unhappy--much more unhappy even than he is.”
”But you would be still more so if you married him. Listen, Bijou, dear, you know nothing about life, nor about marriage. I have, perhaps, been wrong in bringing you up so strictly, not letting you read or hear enough about things; there are certain duties and obligations which marriage imposes upon us, and about which you know nothing, and these duties--well, you ought to know something about them, before rus.h.i.+ng headlong into such a terrible venture as this.”
”No!” said Bijou, with a gesture to prevent Madame de Bracieux continuing, ”don't tell me anything, grandmamma. I know what responsibilities I should have to accept, and what my duty would be, and I have decided--decided irrevocably--to become the wife of M. de Clagny, whom I love dearly.” And then, as the marchioness made a movement as though to protest, she repeated: ”Yes, I love him dearly; and the proof is that the idea of marrying him does not terrify me, whilst the thought of marrying the others made me feel a sort of repulsion.”
She knelt down in front of the marchioness, and began again in a coaxing voice:
”Say that you will consent, grandmamma; say so--do, please.”
”You are nearly twenty-two. I cannot overrule you as though you were a little child, therefore I consent, but without any enthusiasm, I can a.s.sure you, and I implore you to reconsider the matter, Bijou, my dear. I am afraid that you are following the impulse of your kind heart and of your extremely sensitive nature and making a mistake that will be irreparable.”
”I do not need to consider the matter any more; I have done nothing else ever since yesterday; and I know that this is my only chance of happiness, or of what at any rate seems to be the most like happiness.
Don't say anything to anyone about it, will you, grandmamma?”
”Oh, dear no! you can be easy on that score; you don't imagine that I am in a hurry to announce such an engagement, and to contemplate the horrified, astonished looks they will all put on. Oh, no; if you think I am in a hurry, you are mistaken, my darling.”
”And above all, don't say anything to M. de Clagny; I am enjoying the thought of telling him this evening.”
”But he told me that he should not come--”
”Ah! but he promised me that he would come.” And then, holding up her merry face to be kissed, she added: ”And now I must go and attend to our scenery, and to the footlights, which won't light, and to my costume, which is not finished.”
The marchioness took Bijou's head in her beautiful hands, which were still so white and smooth, and kissing her, murmured:
”Go, then; and may Heaven grant that we shall have no cause to regret--your good-heartedness--and--my weakness.”
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