Part 35 (2/2)
The last hints of warmth drained from her cheeks, his succinct recitation of Gordon's cruelty cutting her to the bone.
”Of course I care,” she whispered, her voice raw. ”I hate him more than you can ever imagine. But he is vile and vindictive and I will not have his blood on your hands. I will not have him destroy your life as he did mine. Not in defense of me.”
She looked into his eyes again. ”Leo, you promised.”
His shoulders flexed, neck muscles bulging as his hands opened and closed into fists. Shaking visibly, he waged an internal war between his instincts and his intellect. ”I should never have given that oath,” he bit out. ”You should not have asked me to.”
Las.h.i.+ng out, he struck his fist against the wall, making it shake so hard it sent two paintings cras.h.i.+ng to the floor. A little porcelain figurine dropped onto the carpet as well, but didn't break.
Hera, who had already been looking uncomfortable, shot out of the room, her claws scratching noisily against the wooden floors.
Thalia jumped as well, involuntarily drawing in on herself.
But she wasn't afraid. She knew Leo would never hurt her; he was just frustrated and angry. Young and hotheaded with rage.
However much she wished she could let him do exactly as he wanted-and believe her, it was tempting-she would never do anything that might endanger him, or worse. For even if he came to no physical harm meting out his revenge against Gordon, she didn't trust the law to see that what he'd done was justice.
She'd sensed how he might react. She should never have confided so much.
”Fine,” he said after a long, tense silence. ”I won't kill him. For your sake. But I won't promise anything else.”
”Leo-”
”That's the best I can do. The best I will do.”
At least it was something, she told herself. Still, she worried.
He stalked across to the small decanter of brandy she'd started keeping here for him. Often after dinner he enjoyed a drink, while she preferred tea. Pulling off the crystal stopper, he poured himself a gla.s.s, then tossed it swiftly back. She decided not to mention the fact that it was only late afternoon.
How it could be, she didn't know. The day suddenly felt endless.
”So,” he said, setting his gla.s.s down with a controlled thump, ”I'm going to start looking for ways around your divorce decree. Lawrence will help as well. He knows more law these days than I do anyway, so he may have some strategies I haven't considered. In the meantime, I want you to pack your belongings, just the essentials for now, and come with me to Cavendish Square. The rest of your things can be sent round later.”
Her brows drew close. ”My things? Why? I don't understand.”
”I want you to move in with me. I would come here, but it's not as convenient and my house is a great deal larger.”
Her lips parted. ”Move in with you? Doesn't your twin brother live there as well?”
”What of it? Lawrence won't bother you-well, no more than he bothers anyone. If he does, you needn't see him. He and I each of us have a wing, so it's a simple matter of avoidance.”
”Avoiding him would not be the issue. Leo, I cannot live with you.”
”Why not? We practically live together now. And if you're worried about the scandal, don't be. Once we wed, it will be forgotten as soon as the next illicit tryst rears its tantalizing head for Society's enjoyment. Besides, my next-door neighbor, Northcote-you met him, remember-he hosts orgies, so I don't think your habitation will cause much fuss.”
”Leo, we've been over this. You know I cannot marry you.”
”Don't be so pessimistic. Somehow we will find a way.”
An ache swelled beneath her breastbone. Perhaps it was her heart wanting to burst. ”Even if we could, I still can't be your wife.”
That stopped him. He gave her a penetrating look. ”Why not?”
Her lip trembled. ”You know why not. Weren't you listening? I cannot give you children. We will never be a family.”
His expression softened. ”We don't need children to be a family. I admit, I always a.s.sumed I would have children someday, but it doesn't matter. I have nieces and nephews enough to spare. They can be our children-or like our children anyway.”
She blinked against the moisture in her eyes. ”It isn't the same as having your own.”
”Maybe not, but we'll make it enough.” He went to her and drew her up and into his arms. ”You'll see. We'll be happy, just us two.”
She let him hold her for another long minute, then stepped away. ”No, I cannot deny you the chance to be a father.”
”I'm five-and-twenty years old. Believe me, I'm not all that interested in babies.”
”You aren't now. But what of later? What of five years? Ten? Twenty? As you said, you're young. People change a great deal as the years pa.s.s.”
His brows drew low. ”If you're implying my feelings for you will change, they won't. I love you now and will love you in the future. Twenty, fifty years from now. If we do not have children, we don't.”
”We won't,” she said with sad certainty. ”I'm sorry, but I won't do this to you. I won't rob you of this, then wake up one day to find that you regret your sacrifice. Or worse, that you resent me for the loss.”
”Do not compare me to him.” His voice was low, his jaw clenched.
”I'm not. You are decent and honorable, things Gordon could never be. But I will not trap you. I love you far too much.”
”And if I tell you again that I do not care? That I only want you?”
She looked away, gathering her courage, locking her heart away so she would be able to say what she must. Do what was best-for him.
”I think . . . Leo, there is no point in prolonging this. We should say our good-byes now while we can part amicably. It's the right time.”
It will never be the right time. Forever would be too soon.
She forced herself to continue. ”I know you think you love me, but you will move on. You will find someone else. A suitable young woman who does not come with all the difficulties I do. A girl who will give you sons and daughters, who will love you and be a good wife. Be to you what I can never be.”
”You think me so shallow? You think I'll just fall out of love?”
She didn't like to think so, but she had to hope. For his sake.
”Yes. That is exactly what I think.”
”You're wrong. You can drive me out now, Thalia, but you won't drive me away forever. I will be back.”
”Don't.”
”I will. I'll bring a ring when I come and I'll make you take it. I'll have you for my wife if it's the last thing I do.”
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