Part 19 (1/2)

TRUFFALDINO, EUNUCHS. _The foregoing._

TRUFFALDINO.

(_Aside._) You a.s.s! (_Aloud._) Stop bleating and shaking your tags, you old ram you! (_In a kindly tone._) You're going to have a fine time of it to-day, old boy.

BARAK.

I'm wanted in the harem. Good! let us go.

TRUFFALDINO.

a.s.s! you're going to have a fine time of it, you old baa-baa. And I'll help you. Against all the rules of etiquette and good breeding, I condescend to introduce you alive into the harem.

Can you appreciate the height of your good fortune?

H'm! A vigorous old chap like you!

Inside the most holy seraglio? Baa! Baa! All those pretty ladies? Baa! Baa! Eh! is that nothing to you? Baa! Baa! (_More to the public._) As a rule, we are very particular on this point--absolutely rigorous. As a rule, not even a flea is admitted into the harem before it has been carefully examined to see whether it's a male or a female. We tickle it, and if it laughs it's a she. Females have a silk thread tied round their left leg. Males are immediately executed. Baa! Baa! And now you have this good fortune thrust upon you.

BARAK.

I know the Princess sends you after _me_.

What of the woman there? I know her not.

TRUFFALDINO.

Thou knowest her not! Baa! Baa! Thou art a liar, old chap. Thou liest in thy throat, thou silvery ram. Thou knowest her not! Thou paralytic pack of prevarication! This buxom smiling lady, with her attractive, plump figure, thou knowest her not? Thou thrice-bleached hypocrite! And all the time you share all she has, year in, year out, as far as you are able to.

Baa! Baa! I'll help you. Baa! Baa! I'll teach you to tell me lies! Baa! Baa! Me, the Grand Eunuch of China! (_Beckons to the eunuchs to bring_ SKIRINA _closer to_ BARAK.) Well, do you know her now? This lady? Your wife, you wretch, you wretch! Baa! Baa!

SKIRINA.

I can't make head or tail of it.

BARAK.

Remember What I have said. And hold your tongue.

Poor fool, You have now what you wanted.

SKIRINA.

Heaven help us!

TRUFFALDINO.

(_To the eunuchs._) Up! Take the pair of 'em between you. Slope swords! Halt! Attention!