Part 22 (2/2)
”I know that you'll never be number one. Music, other girls or drinking will take priority to you. Face it Paige, you have daddy issues.” She raises her fingers doing air quotes around daddy issues and I gain all the strength I have not to storm out and never speak to her again.
”Listen,” I place my hands on the edge of her bed. My palms dig into the edge of the footboard. ”I'm not going to sit here and argue with you about Rob's and mine relations.h.i.+p. Either you get help, or I take Matty.”
She shakes her head and then peers out of the window. ”Why can't you love me?” Here comes the depression.
”I do love you, but I can't do this anymore. My whole life has been taking care of you and it's time for my life to start. You can snarl what you want about Rob, but you know what he just told me? He said he loves me.” I point my finger into my chest.
My mom blankly stares over to me and turns to look out the window. Rob's words sink in. He loves me. Oh my G.o.d, he really loves me. Never would I have thought he'd be the one to say it first.
”They say anything to get in your pants.” My mom brings me back from the clouds.
”He told me because he's upset that I'm crying over my mother, but I'm not crying because you tried to commit suicide or the fact you face depression. I'm crying because I'm exhausted that my life once again gets placed on hold. You're probably right though, Rob won't stick around, but it won't be because of another woman. It will be because of all the s.h.i.+t you've deposited into my head all these years. That the self-doubt in men will make me too insecure for him to deal with.” I stop, because if I don't, I'll get meaner and more hurtful to her.
She breaks down and tears stream from her eyes. A nurse weaves through the curtains and I catch a glimpse of Rob in the hallway, a minute away from stepping in.
”Miss, you'll have to leave.” The older nurse looks at me without sympathy, but dislike.
Live my life lady and then judge.
”What is she on?” I ask, not giving one s.h.i.+t if she doesn't like me.
”That's none of your concern.” She checks my mom's IV and pats her arm. ”Linda, are you okay, dear?”
What the f.u.c.k?
”Yes, thank you.” My mom acts sweet as pie. ”This is my daughter.” The nurse glances over to me with a twitch of her lip.
”That's nice.” She struts up to me at the edge of the bed. ”I suggest you go cool off, maybe down to the cafeteria.”
”Thanks for the suggestion.” I cross my arms and wait for her to leave.
With a huff, she writes something on the whiteboard and exits.
”I'm not going to argue with you. You need to get help, end of the discussion. I'll have Matty until it happens. Tell Carl-”
”Carl left town,” she murmurs, which means I see why she ran to my dad now. Another man broke her heart.
”Does Matty know?”
”No. I doubt he even cares.”
”It's his dad, Mom, he cares.” My heart sinks for Matty.
”Take him.”
”I am and when you get better, come back.” I walk alongside of her bed and sit down. ”I'm sorry for getting angry. I just want you to get better so we can be a family. I want to live like a normal twenty-two year old.” Grabbing her hand, she pries it back at first. Physical contact isn't usually our thing.
”Take him, Paige,” she murmurs.
”I told you, I will until you come back.”
”No, take him.”
”Mom, No!”
Although the scenario has always seemed inevitable in my mind, I don't want her to give up on herself.
She looks into my eyes for the first time since I entered the room. ”Please.”
Tears are forming, my nose is tickling, and my mouth is dry. I might be committed into their psych ward myself because I can't raise a four year old, and do my cla.s.ses. When will I get my own life? A life where I'm not responsible for someone else. If she's asking then there's something really bad going on.
”I'm going to go down to the cafeteria and I want you to really think this through, okay?” I squeeze her hand and it goes limp in mine.
”Nothing will change. I'm too selfish.”
”We could get you help. I'll watch him while you're getting healthy.”
”Oh, Paigey, you've always been my pick me up.” She places her hand on my cheek. ”Always made me think I was better than I am.”
”You are. Just think about it and then I'll be right back, okay?” I s.h.i.+ft to get up and she grabs my hand one more time.
”I love you, Paige. I'm s.h.i.+tty at showing it, but I do.”
”I know. I love you, too.” I slowly back up, unsure of where this discussion will move if I don't leave the room. I need to clear my head and think about what she's asking. ”Get some rest and I'll be right back.”
I leave the room with my arms hanging and my head down, right into Rob's chest. He wraps me in his warmth and I allow him to comfort me. ”I'm sorry, baby. It got heated in there, huh?”
I nod into his chest and then step back letting his hands fall. ”She wants me to take Matty.”
His eyes drop and then they meet mine. He's not upset, or panicked. Those blue eyes are easy as the sky on a clear summer day. ”I'll help you. Chrissy and Dex will. h.e.l.l, I'm sure everyone will help us out. It's temporary, we can do it.”
It's so cute the way he says we and I believe he really believes that. But one month to forever changes a relations.h.i.+p that just budded. ”No.” I shake my head. ”For good.”
Shock hits his face and his head rears back. ”Oh, man.” He runs his hand through his hair. ”What did you say?”
”I told her to think about it.” I stare at his chest, my fingers playing with his s.h.i.+rt to distract me from his unsure eyes. ”I'll have to move, get an apartment. I'm going to have to ask my dad-”I stop myself before trust fund slips out, but the thought of asking my dad to sign it over, is a punch in the face. If he doesn't, what do I do then?
”Hey.” He places his hands on my cheeks and forces my head up. ”Your mind is working overtime. Let's go and get a coffee and talk this out, okay?”
I nod, unable to truly form words. He leads me down the hallway, following the signs to the cafeteria. ”Can you message Chrissy and ask her if she has Matty yet?” The kid just became an orphan and doesn't even know it yet.
”Yeah.”
The elevator dings and the doors open. I can hear the clanking of silverware and trays before we arrive in the cafeteria. Rob's staring down at his phone, his fingers flying across the screen. As soon as we step through the archway, an uneasiness comes over me. Scratching off the repercussions from talking with my mom, I locate the coffee area and weave my way through the early-morning rush. Rob travels behind me, and when I stop at the coffee, I'm waiting in line.
”He's there and Dex is playing basketball in the driveway with him. She said he's doing great.”
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